Biographical Non-Fiction posted November 16, 2023 Chapters:  ...61 62 -63- 64... 


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The bubbling brew

A chapter in the book Ghost

Months End

by Lea Tonin1


 
 
Confined my soul
 
Bursts free to frolic
 
Homes gate creates revelry
 
*****************************
It is clear and crystal this morning. Grass sheathed in shiny armor pointing to the sky.  It's sheen a quick demise flashes as the sun rises. They shake off their tiny green arms and once again greet the day.
 
Sometimes I think life should just be the same for a while.
 
I say to myself, "Don't look at the mountain to climb, look at your feet.
Put one foot in front of the other. One thing at a time, one task at a time.  Before you know it, you are at the top of the mountain."
 
It's a nice idea in theory, but life is rarely nice.
So we do what we can.
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. 
 
Mayhem just likes hanging around me. I do however, think everyone could say that at least once in their lives.
 
There's a phrase I like.  It's called,
"Terminal Uniqueness".
It's the idea that nothing and no one can understand how we feel or where we've been.
If one is stuck on that premise, then we are not open to ideas that are different than our own.  We become narrow-minded, and that is the road to narcissism.
We must remain open to different ideas .  In this way, we continue to learn, continue to expand.  Yes, there are roadblocks along the way.
I say, bring some grenades.  Blast the shit outta those blocks here and now!
 
One more trip into the past...for now...
 
*****************************

"ZING!!" Said my  scalp when introduced to warm water. I watched the dirt, needles and blood  then drained it from my hair watching the porcelain whirlpool take away the flotsam. I washed my hands and my face,then gently brushed my hair again. Careful not to touch the back

I looked at my clothes and brushed the yuck off my pants.

Using the towel to wipe up after myself I then put it into their hamper turned to look one more time.

There was a woman girl or a girl woman in that mirror. It happens in that small space of time in between that offers only confusion. 

Deciding that I was at least presentable. I tucked my hair behind my ears and concluded that I was able to maintain some semblance of normalcy, I left the bathroom.

Their home, although very neat, contained furniture almost as old as the house. Chairs, a couch and a couple end tables were loosely spaced about the living room. An old chipped Formica table was set in the kitchen.  The "good ship lino pop" had peeled up from the  floor. They did their best to keep it clean same as the rest of the house.

"I can't go back there, I have no where to go." I said.

"No you cant. Your Dad sounds like a serious dick." P answered. Mom will be back soon, I'll ask her. Don't worry about it, we'll figure it out."

I couldn't help it. Tears came of their own volition. My friend looked awkward like she didn't know what to do.

She was rescued by the sound of a car in the driveway.

"Mom's here...let me talk to her first...maybe go in my room. Top of the stairs door on the left." She said.

I went up the stairs nervously and into her room.  Like the rest of the house, it was neat and clean which is kind of funny for a teenager. But I didn't think much of it at the time.

There's two beds in the room which looked to be an attic room but actually was insulated and had drywall and paint. I sat there fidgeting, my fingers dueling with eack other. I heard the sound of my friends voice, one of a woman and the deeper voice of a man. 

I wondered what would happen, what I would do if I couldn't stay.

It seemed like a conversation was going on for days. But really it was only about 1/2 an hour that I waited. But it was a nervous wait because my future was in the balance. I heard the sound of someone coming up the stairs and then P came through the door.

"They want to talk to you." She said. Her expression gave nothing away. I stood up and followed her down the stairs.

Walking into the living room I saw a big balding man with cherry cheeks and a smaller round woman who smiled at me and asked me to sit down.

"Goodness." the lady said. "You look like a deer in the head lights!" She looked at me with a kind expression.

"It's okay sweetie, you can stay here for a awhile."

"Yes, it's fine." P's Dad said.

Like a corkscrew, my boby began to unwind itself. I didn't realize I was so tensed up until I started to relax. The tears rolled again accompanied with deep exhaustion.

Then the light faded to black....

***********************
I remember that massive wave of relief...it rolls over me now as a residual sensation. 
 
Soon this part of the story will end.
 
And another begins....




This chapter is part of an auto bio called Ghost. It can be found in my portfolio should you wish to read. A small note of caution, some chapters are hard to absorb. Reader discretion is advised.
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