| Biographical Non-Fiction posted November 14, 2023 | Chapters: |
...60 61 -62- 63... 
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Highs and lows
A chapter in the book Ghost
Roller coaster
by Lea Tonin1
The author has placed a warning on this post for language.
Rolled shoulders, the luggage of life.
Strike for the springy step once known.
Rip the emotional baggage, a tearing cast.
Unhinge guilt and shame, totes of demise.
And feather float....
*****************************
Today the beacon sun smiles on Autumn's beauty like lovers of old. Changing leaves, it's continued spin and wave, enjoying the seasons last. With the stunning loveliness surrounding one another in beautiful azure skies and warm rays, how could one think of doing harm on days like this?
My mother could...and does.
I must confess to some pressure around here. My family actively seeks to discredit me once again.
She comes with both guns blazing! Out to create another reputation that I am supposed to live down.
I believe, although I'm not completely sure, that it won"t be long before Social Services or the Ministry try to contact me for something other than the paperwork I've request. By that simple act of asking, red flags went up for them.
My mother now redoubles her efforts.
I hear terrible things from others and am dealing with some awful comments. One person said I should kill myself.
Scumbag.
She will not stop me in any way shape or form. That is a promise. A promise to the people reading and a promise to all those that this writing may help. But most of all, a promise to myself to never go back there ever and never stop.
BTW, if you're snooping mother, you can kiss my ass! You should get started! You got some ground to cover!
Question for my kind readers and perhaps some advise if you don't mind.
I have been advised by more than a few to go some place no one knows me. Where I am anonymous until I've completed this story.
It was also mentioned that there could be a physical altercation although it's heresay.
I'm not surprised by such things. Anyone who wishes to raise a hand to me better be warned, I'm not the person to fuck with. I learned long ago how to take care of business!
I know...I sounded so tough there eh? "Eh" is the Canadian equivalent of "Huh" in the USA.
I'm leaning towards leaving. Mainly because I can't live down all these things that my mother keeps saying about me. Also because things are heating up as far as information coming out. Who knows what people will do with that?
I've learned to expect the worst as it quite often it is.
What did you think folks?
I always appreciate everyone's perspective. Because sometimes we just might hear something valuable or something that we just didn't know.
I look forward to those things that I don't know.
So while things heat up for me today things cool down for me yesterday... Let's see what shaken...yes?
****************************
That beautiful gorgeous bus showed up in minutes to take me away from this vicious yuck.
If that bus was a night in shining armor, it would be Lancelot!
A twenty minute bus ride is all it took to make my day! Just one worry now, only one thing concerns me. I hope they take me. I hope my friend and her parents will allow me to stay for a short time.
Just for now though, I'll take the gentle rocking of the bus.
I know where she lives. I've just never been there before. She comes from the other side of the city.
We converge together centrally for Army Cadets to meet. Soon the stop I needed came into view.
I pulled the cord to exit the bus. As I was about to get off, a lady asked me if I was OK. She said the back of my head looked sore. I thanked her for her concern. I gave her a bright smile and deboarded. Walking up the street I scanned the house numbers and there it was. One house up from the corner. But the grass was cut and the windows were clean.
I was beginning to feel a bit guilty. Maybe I would be a burden to these people.
There was nothing else could I do but ask. Maybe I could do chores or something in exchange.
Nervously I walked up to the door and knocked. There was my friend "P" looking at me with a question on her face.
I said, "I'm sorry I didn't make it yesterday, my Dad was being a dick."
"That wasn't yesterday." P said."That was two days ago."
"Oh shit." I mumbled. "Was asleep for over a day!"
"Sorry?" P asked.
"Oh nothing. Missed a day I guess." I replied.
"Well, 'cmon. Don't just stand there, come in." She said. "Take your flip flops off or my mom will crap herself!"
I complied right away.
"What did you get into?" she asked. "You look like you ran into a pile of shit!" Her compunction for poo was different.
"Could I wash? I'll tell you everything right after?" I asked.
"Better do." P said. "Don't let my mom see you like that."
I gave her a grateful look. She said,"Don't look at me with love in your eyes...git!"
She waived me off. My eyes welled up with tears...I turned quickly and went where she pointed.
One look in the mirror told me I did need some attention.
I did sometimes yes...need attention.
************************
Jack and Jill went up the hill each with a buck and a quarter jill came down with two fifty...that always made me chuckle.
Sometimes humor is required to break the mood and bring some levity in. I do it all the time.
People chuckle but, I do it for my own amusement.
Until we meet again....
Rolled shoulders, the luggage of life.
Strike for the springy step once known.
Rip the emotional baggage, a tearing cast.
Unhinge guilt and shame, totes of demise.
And feather float....
*****************************
Today the beacon sun smiles on Autumn's beauty like lovers of old. Changing leaves, it's continued spin and wave, enjoying the seasons last. With the stunning loveliness surrounding one another in beautiful azure skies and warm rays, how could one think of doing harm on days like this?
My mother could...and does.
I must confess to some pressure around here. My family actively seeks to discredit me once again.
She comes with both guns blazing! Out to create another reputation that I am supposed to live down.
I believe, although I'm not completely sure, that it won"t be long before Social Services or the Ministry try to contact me for something other than the paperwork I've request. By that simple act of asking, red flags went up for them.
My mother now redoubles her efforts.
I hear terrible things from others and am dealing with some awful comments. One person said I should kill myself.
Scumbag.
She will not stop me in any way shape or form. That is a promise. A promise to the people reading and a promise to all those that this writing may help. But most of all, a promise to myself to never go back there ever and never stop.
BTW, if you're snooping mother, you can kiss my ass! You should get started! You got some ground to cover!
Question for my kind readers and perhaps some advise if you don't mind.
I have been advised by more than a few to go some place no one knows me. Where I am anonymous until I've completed this story.
It was also mentioned that there could be a physical altercation although it's heresay.
I'm not surprised by such things. Anyone who wishes to raise a hand to me better be warned, I'm not the person to fuck with. I learned long ago how to take care of business!
I know...I sounded so tough there eh? "Eh" is the Canadian equivalent of "Huh" in the USA.
I'm leaning towards leaving. Mainly because I can't live down all these things that my mother keeps saying about me. Also because things are heating up as far as information coming out. Who knows what people will do with that?
I've learned to expect the worst as it quite often it is.
What did you think folks?
I always appreciate everyone's perspective. Because sometimes we just might hear something valuable or something that we just didn't know.
I look forward to those things that I don't know.
So while things heat up for me today things cool down for me yesterday... Let's see what shaken...yes?
****************************
That beautiful gorgeous bus showed up in minutes to take me away from this vicious yuck.
If that bus was a night in shining armor, it would be Lancelot!
A twenty minute bus ride is all it took to make my day! Just one worry now, only one thing concerns me. I hope they take me. I hope my friend and her parents will allow me to stay for a short time.
Just for now though, I'll take the gentle rocking of the bus.
I know where she lives. I've just never been there before. She comes from the other side of the city.
We converge together centrally for Army Cadets to meet. Soon the stop I needed came into view.
I pulled the cord to exit the bus. As I was about to get off, a lady asked me if I was OK. She said the back of my head looked sore. I thanked her for her concern. I gave her a bright smile and deboarded. Walking up the street I scanned the house numbers and there it was. One house up from the corner. But the grass was cut and the windows were clean.
I was beginning to feel a bit guilty. Maybe I would be a burden to these people.
There was nothing else could I do but ask. Maybe I could do chores or something in exchange.
Nervously I walked up to the door and knocked. There was my friend "P" looking at me with a question on her face.
I said, "I'm sorry I didn't make it yesterday, my Dad was being a dick."
"That wasn't yesterday." P said."That was two days ago."
"Oh shit." I mumbled. "Was asleep for over a day!"
"Sorry?" P asked.
"Oh nothing. Missed a day I guess." I replied.
"Well, 'cmon. Don't just stand there, come in." She said. "Take your flip flops off or my mom will crap herself!"
I complied right away.
"What did you get into?" she asked. "You look like you ran into a pile of shit!" Her compunction for poo was different.
"Could I wash? I'll tell you everything right after?" I asked.
"Better do." P said. "Don't let my mom see you like that."
I gave her a grateful look. She said,"Don't look at me with love in your eyes...git!"
She waived me off. My eyes welled up with tears...I turned quickly and went where she pointed.
One look in the mirror told me I did need some attention.
I did sometimes yes...need attention.
************************
Jack and Jill went up the hill each with a buck and a quarter jill came down with two fifty...that always made me chuckle.
Sometimes humor is required to break the mood and bring some levity in. I do it all the time.
People chuckle but, I do it for my own amusement.
Until we meet again....
This chapter is from a auto bio called Ghost. It can be found in my portfolio. If you wish to read, please note some chapters are difficult to absorb reader discretion is advised.
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