| Biographical Non-Fiction posted October 31, 2023 | Chapters: |
...43 44 -45- 46... 
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A look inside. Age 16
A chapter in the book Ghost
The Rage
by Lea Tonin1
I don't know...I'm not sure.
There are many supportive people here on this site who kindly asked me, "How are you doing today? This must be hard for you."
I don't know...I'm not sure That's what I got when I asked myself how I'm doing today.
I knew when I began writing this that it was going to be a journey.
The mountain of new revelations, connections and evidence reveals itself. One block in the correct spot causes all others to fall into place.
Then a chain begins to reveal itself linking all clues events and hints together.
A bomb was dropped you see.
A bomb in the form of multiple boxes with a note on them...It's a warning. It said, "Do not read these documents alone."
How am I doing today?
I don't know...I'm not sure.
What is shocking to me today is that the whole thing was premeditated and designed to rid themselves of unwanted children in such a way as not to be caught. A deliberate methodically planned event designed to make two children disappear whether metaphorically or physically.
They began to mentally condition us trying to make us believe that we were mentally disturbed that we had false memory syndrome that no one should listen to us because of this.
They spread out this made-up philosophy to anyone or anyone who listened family or otherwise.
I sit here now with proof of everything they tried to do and did to us. I have ridden the emotional rollercoaster while writing this. New information also discovered caused much alarm and what I discovered is incredulous to me. I couldn't even think of doing that to another human being...who does that?
This potential becomes large and significant my mother is doing her level best to discredit me. She spreads her venom to anyone who will listen. She continues to lay the foundation that she began years ago to bury me.
I know as we speak that she's out dumping more deceit and singing the same tune. When the authorities come knocking, she has her excuses lined up. So I sit surrounded by proof of their reprehensible stack of lies.
What I didn't know then that I do now? Lots.
Opponent's
Mother - actively perpetuated the lie. Blocked information and/or falsified documents, Abandonment, failure to protect and nurture her children. Active participant in abuse and cover-up.
Grandmother - progenitor for cover-up. Actively falsified, blocked and manipulated social service reports and documents. Interfered with social services procedures to have us placed in her home as "a favour" to her.
Stepfather - active abuser in all forms. Progenitor to systematically break us down through starvation, beatings, mental abuse and manipulation through brainwashing all actions designed to cause our deaths. Participated in the cover-up by supplying false information and falsified statements. Collaborated with mother and grandmother to back each other up in the event of questioning.
Unknown participants - actively participated in the cover-up of abuse. Falsified, misdirected and/or misplaced key information regarding our treatment. Inside assistant to my grandmother.
These individuals were and do hold influential positions within social services allowing them to move about and manipulate pertinent information freely.
Complainants
Myself
My sister
No chance...that's what we had.
My youngest sister rescued by her father at age five was the only one meant to survive.
Long term effects
Youngest sister -
Exploited for sexual purposes
Agoraphobic
pill usage
PTSD
Gambling issues
Middle Sister -
Some split personality traits in some aspects affect her willingness and/or ability to remember.
Control issues
Displays traits of Stepfather's personality and acts accordingly.
PTSD
migraines
Emotional disconnect.
Oldest sister Myself
Remembers everything
Severe depression and anxiety
PTSD
Analyze and critical
Trust Issues
So here I am with all my boxes are proof reeling from the shock of discoveries.
How am I?
They should have never mistaken me for stupid. I'm never stopping. I'll never shut up. I'll never give up.
That's how I am...
I'm going back to the 16-year-old girl. I'm here...I'm saying saddle up, lock and load.
Front lines! Battle ready!!
I don't know...I'm not sure.
There are many supportive people here on this site who kindly asked me, "How are you doing today? This must be hard for you."
I don't know...I'm not sure That's what I got when I asked myself how I'm doing today.
I knew when I began writing this that it was going to be a journey.
The mountain of new revelations, connections and evidence reveals itself. One block in the correct spot causes all others to fall into place.
Then a chain begins to reveal itself linking all clues events and hints together.
A bomb was dropped you see.
A bomb in the form of multiple boxes with a note on them...It's a warning. It said, "Do not read these documents alone."
How am I doing today?
I don't know...I'm not sure.
What is shocking to me today is that the whole thing was premeditated and designed to rid themselves of unwanted children in such a way as not to be caught. A deliberate methodically planned event designed to make two children disappear whether metaphorically or physically.
They began to mentally condition us trying to make us believe that we were mentally disturbed that we had false memory syndrome that no one should listen to us because of this.
They spread out this made-up philosophy to anyone or anyone who listened family or otherwise.
I sit here now with proof of everything they tried to do and did to us. I have ridden the emotional rollercoaster while writing this. New information also discovered caused much alarm and what I discovered is incredulous to me. I couldn't even think of doing that to another human being...who does that?
This potential becomes large and significant my mother is doing her level best to discredit me. She spreads her venom to anyone who will listen. She continues to lay the foundation that she began years ago to bury me.
I know as we speak that she's out dumping more deceit and singing the same tune. When the authorities come knocking, she has her excuses lined up. So I sit surrounded by proof of their reprehensible stack of lies.
What I didn't know then that I do now? Lots.
Opponent's
Mother - actively perpetuated the lie. Blocked information and/or falsified documents, Abandonment, failure to protect and nurture her children. Active participant in abuse and cover-up.
Grandmother - progenitor for cover-up. Actively falsified, blocked and manipulated social service reports and documents. Interfered with social services procedures to have us placed in her home as "a favour" to her.
Stepfather - active abuser in all forms. Progenitor to systematically break us down through starvation, beatings, mental abuse and manipulation through brainwashing all actions designed to cause our deaths. Participated in the cover-up by supplying false information and falsified statements. Collaborated with mother and grandmother to back each other up in the event of questioning.
Unknown participants - actively participated in the cover-up of abuse. Falsified, misdirected and/or misplaced key information regarding our treatment. Inside assistant to my grandmother.
These individuals were and do hold influential positions within social services allowing them to move about and manipulate pertinent information freely.
Complainants
Myself
My sister
No chance...that's what we had.
My youngest sister rescued by her father at age five was the only one meant to survive.
Long term effects
Youngest sister -
Exploited for sexual purposes
Agoraphobic
pill usage
PTSD
Gambling issues
Middle Sister -
Some split personality traits in some aspects affect her willingness and/or ability to remember.
Control issues
Displays traits of Stepfather's personality and acts accordingly.
PTSD
migraines
Emotional disconnect.
Oldest sister Myself
Remembers everything
Severe depression and anxiety
PTSD
Analyze and critical
Trust Issues
So here I am with all my boxes are proof reeling from the shock of discoveries.
How am I?
They should have never mistaken me for stupid. I'm never stopping. I'll never shut up. I'll never give up.
That's how I am...
I'm going back to the 16-year-old girl. I'm here...I'm saying saddle up, lock and load.
Front lines! Battle ready!!
 Recognized |
This story is from an auto bio called "Ghost" Which can be found in my portfolio if you wish to read, one word of caution, some chapters are hard to absorb reader discretion is advised.
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