Terror...sheer terror and adrenaline rushing through my veins making my heart jump hoops!  Snapping branches and swishing bushes the odd word floated through the air.

Shoes on I held my breath and waited for the moment I had to sprint. That was the moment when I truly realized I was not safe.  There is more than one kind of safe I found out. 

Here I'm relatively safe from my stepfather.

Here I'm possibly unsafe from strangers and ladies with walking sticks who don't like the homeless.

I strained my ears listening for the sound and the distance of those sounds. Are they closer, or are they farther away?

If they cross the perimeter, I will hear a much larger snap than just simply a branch, possibly a shout instead. That would be my ticket to get out to safety.

I could hear pieces of short clipped conversation a bit of a distance away. Words like, "field, girl" and "where" faded quickly. 

To my great relief. The sounds of cracking branches and muffled clipped voices began to dissipate.

It taught me a lesson though.

I need to have a better pre-alert system. They could have made one turn different and stumbled upon me.

I came out of my tent and tried to see something. I could hear talk a bit of a distance away which quickly faded.

I strained my eyes try to see movement...any movement at all.

I did not accept the flashlight my friends offered when last they were here. Like the campfire, the light was too easily seen.

Silence crept in, no more noise could I hear, no breaking branches. No birds flapping above. Just the deep silence of the night. 

I knew sleep would not return to me that night. My hypervigilance and my extra sensitivity were on high alert.

For the remainder, I was on duty.

My loneliness and fear were palpable as I was surrounded by what I could not see.

Trying to think of solutions to problems in the darkest hours is nearly impossible. I can see nothing. But, I hear everything.

Even the thundering silence banging on my ear drums.

It's not a good combination when trying to come up with answers.  I was still in a reactionary mode.  Fight or flight, my frame of mind and I was ready to go. 

But I have been close up and personal with these feelings and actions for most of my life. I know what it is and where it comes from and I know what needs to be done.

Angry for crying, feeling tired and weak. It's because it's not what I've come to expect from myself. 

I hoped that the light of day would change my perspective. After what seemed like forever and a day, I could finally see my hands in front of my face.

I looked towards my tent and shelter and took some comfort in knowing and seeing that my tent and the shelter I had started could not be seen in the dark without close inspection.  Well, one thing is right anyway. 

After a while, it was light enough that I could make a fire warm up and be relatively safe.

The trick to smokeless fires is to not put on wet wood, live branches or, God forbid, pine needles or leaves. You can bank coals at night and restart the fire in the morning. This I choose to not do as I cannot monitor the coals nor stop their glow from showing while asleep. Anger was still with me even as my fear of the night faded away.

I was angry because these people could have easily done something terrible to me and no one would know. Angry because something I didn't do Could make that fear a reality. 

I decided to take control back. I will be the stalker instead of the stalked.

I'll find out what this woman and whoever she's with is up to. As soon as I do I will place obstacles every step of the way and slow them down.

First things first perimeter check. Then I have a trail to follow.

Armed with information. The only way to fly.