THE TRINING Book Three
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "CAUTIOUS JUBILATION? (Pt. 2)"JOURNEY INTO REDEMPTION
35 total reviews
Comment from Tina McKala
hmmm, this chapter is very intriguing. it's a miracle that jed's doing this good. it is very unexpected, and it actually makes me think that this is not natural, but that in fact it IS a MAGIC - rhuether's? or doctrex's? can doctrex change things around him the way he want them to be? or is it rhuether's intention? hmmm. hmmm. :) do't tell me! it makes me eager to continue reading :) but whatever it is that caused this twist in jed's condition, i'm glad he's doing well :) and i only hope he will continue making progress.
a wrestling match with his blankets // lol! love it!
And to Jed, "This is good, Jed." // again this fragmented sentece as in the previous "chapter" / just pointing it out for you, it's up to you whether you keep it or change it :)
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2015
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hmmm, this chapter is very intriguing. it's a miracle that jed's doing this good. it is very unexpected, and it actually makes me think that this is not natural, but that in fact it IS a MAGIC - rhuether's? or doctrex's? can doctrex change things around him the way he want them to be? or is it rhuether's intention? hmmm. hmmm. :) do't tell me! it makes me eager to continue reading :) but whatever it is that caused this twist in jed's condition, i'm glad he's doing well :) and i only hope he will continue making progress.
a wrestling match with his blankets // lol! love it!
And to Jed, "This is good, Jed." // again this fragmented sentece as in the previous "chapter" / just pointing it out for you, it's up to you whether you keep it or change it :)
Comment Written 19-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2015
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Thank you, Tina, both for your incisive comments and your generous rating. I'll take a look at the sentence fragment. I try to avoid them, and when I use one it is with full knowledge that it's a grammatical no-no. And of course that doesn't mean I'm right in doing it.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh wow, this has affected me so much I have a big grin on my face too (only I don't have to hide mine).
That's my one question about this chapter - why did he feel he couldn't smile when asking Garvin to fetch more broth?
Riveting! (I hope Jed's apparent return to health isn't a false start...)
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2015
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Oh wow, this has affected me so much I have a big grin on my face too (only I don't have to hide mine).
That's my one question about this chapter - why did he feel he couldn't smile when asking Garvin to fetch more broth?
Riveting! (I hope Jed's apparent return to health isn't a false start...)
Comment Written 18-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2015
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I'm so tickled you enjoyed this, Dawn. I hope it's not the last time I get to thank you. About your question, it was more Garvin's shocked response to what Doctrex said that caused the latter to grin, but his happiness was so overwhelming that he had to temper his grin just to speak. I'll look at it and see if I can bring that out better. Thanks for pointing it out.
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It was my pleasure entirely. :)
Comment from Sis Cat
Prose captivated my attention. Dialogue and descriptions propelled me forward. I like the intimacy and the dependency of the broth-feeding scene. I also like the tension regarding control and power. The chapter was well drawn. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2015
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Prose captivated my attention. Dialogue and descriptions propelled me forward. I like the intimacy and the dependency of the broth-feeding scene. I also like the tension regarding control and power. The chapter was well drawn. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2015
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Thank YOU Sis Cat. I appreciate your in depth review and your kindness.
Comment from LIJ Red
I get the impression of a work paced slower, on a broader scale, than most of the posts I've seen lately, with meticulous attention to detail and pace. The writing is
smooth and articulate. Excellent.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2015
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I get the impression of a work paced slower, on a broader scale, than most of the posts I've seen lately, with meticulous attention to detail and pace. The writing is
smooth and articulate. Excellent.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2015
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Thank you Red. Hey, no one can accuse me of being articulate and get away with it. LOL, thanks for reading. Good to have you on the ride.
Comment from GWHARGIS
I am so glad you did a whole section on Jed. He is by far one of my favorite characters. Good emotional direction in this. It was focused on the father son relationship between the two. I was wondering if Doctrex was ever going to have a chance to confront his own fatherly emotions. Greta job.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2015
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I am so glad you did a whole section on Jed. He is by far one of my favorite characters. Good emotional direction in this. It was focused on the father son relationship between the two. I was wondering if Doctrex was ever going to have a chance to confront his own fatherly emotions. Greta job.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2015
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I feel so privileged to receive this six from you, Gretchen. It means a lot. I'm now back to my re-created "fresh" stuff and the exhilaration is wonderful. Glad to have you back.
Comment from Sam Mendonca
Great chapter.(Smile)
Now come the time for Jed to think back to the past. That would be very interesting.
Very enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2015
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Great chapter.(Smile)
Now come the time for Jed to think back to the past. That would be very interesting.
Very enjoyable read.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2015
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Thank you Sam. Glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from lancellot
A well written chapter. Baby steps mean so much when you're close to the edge on no return. Great job on conveying emotions with Jed's achievements in recovery and communication. It's true, sometimes we forget that our friends had lives before we met and usually we know nothing about them. Perfect chapter.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2015
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A well written chapter. Baby steps mean so much when you're close to the edge on no return. Great job on conveying emotions with Jed's achievements in recovery and communication. It's true, sometimes we forget that our friends had lives before we met and usually we know nothing about them. Perfect chapter.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2015
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Sweet! Thank you, lance for the gracious rating. I'm humbled. I do appreciate you so much!
Comment from jaeladarling
Hmmm...I'm cautiously suspicious about Jed's condition. Sounds too good to be true, though I hope I'm wrong. Can't wait for the next installment!
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2015
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Hmmm...I'm cautiously suspicious about Jed's condition. Sounds too good to be true, though I hope I'm wrong. Can't wait for the next installment!
Comment Written 16-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2015
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What! What! I'm sure I put a comma in there someplace. LOL, thanks dear Jaela, and yes, one must be suspicious. Things happen in the real world and fiction.
Comment from Walter L. Jones
lost once again in the words, good write, but is going on with the war, waiting dishartened, personal level, the door is swinging, no interference from management, time passing, look forward to next ... Walt
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2015
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lost once again in the words, good write, but is going on with the war, waiting dishartened, personal level, the door is swinging, no interference from management, time passing, look forward to next ... Walt
Comment Written 16-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2015
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Blessings to you, Walt! Thank you for your kindness and your generous sixer!
Comment from krprice
Delete the unnecessary 'that's.
Check punctuation, particularly in compound sentences.
Excellent chapter.
Karlene
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2015
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Delete the unnecessary 'that's.
Check punctuation, particularly in compound sentences.
Excellent chapter.
Karlene
Comment Written 16-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2015
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Thank you, Karlene. You know what? I didn't put the "thats" through the find/replace grinder this time. Getting sloppy. Sometimes they ARE necessary. But I never knew until you pointed it out that they can be UNnecessary as well. I'll go through and check the punctuation. I assume you mean commas.
