St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 72 "St. Louis Chapter 31 part 1"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
21 total reviews
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Barbara.Wilkey,
Nice piece in continuation having lucid phraseology, captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end taking the story forward in an interesting way.
some paragraphs towards the end showing Mac and Logan are particularly noteworthy.
Interesting In deed!
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2020
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Hello Barbara.Wilkey,
Nice piece in continuation having lucid phraseology, captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end taking the story forward in an interesting way.
some paragraphs towards the end showing Mac and Logan are particularly noteworthy.
Interesting In deed!
Comment Written 30-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2020
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
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Barbara.Wilkey,
Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP
Comment from Brett Matthew West
The "silent partner" being a police officer adds more depth to this storyline and reflects on some current issues as well.
Perhaps make "switch people" switch places?
The tattoo will help identify the bad guy.
Her "grandpa" flashback must have spooked her good.
So, her parents had to work late, and her mother walked in on her grandpa molesting her and stabbed him? Is that correct?
Technically, no issues noted. Draws reader in and holds their attention throughout.
One to be followed.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2020
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The "silent partner" being a police officer adds more depth to this storyline and reflects on some current issues as well.
Perhaps make "switch people" switch places?
The tattoo will help identify the bad guy.
Her "grandpa" flashback must have spooked her good.
So, her parents had to work late, and her mother walked in on her grandpa molesting her and stabbed him? Is that correct?
Technically, no issues noted. Draws reader in and holds their attention throughout.
One to be followed.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2020
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Yep, it's correct. I like places instead of people. Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate the help.
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Adored the story, it kept me quite engaged;-) Very well written and love the thought you put into it, it shows!
EXCELLENT job!
Thank you for sharing;-)
Many blessings to you and your family;-)
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2020
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Adored the story, it kept me quite engaged;-) Very well written and love the thought you put into it, it shows!
EXCELLENT job!
Thank you for sharing;-)
Many blessings to you and your family;-)
Comment Written 30-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
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;-)
Comment from Margaret Bednar
Very well written. McKenzie's fear and her story are all believable and her need for Logan is endearing. I can't find anything wrong with this chapter. Looking forward to the next.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Very well written. McKenzie's fear and her story are all believable and her need for Logan is endearing. I can't find anything wrong with this chapter. Looking forward to the next.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from DeboraDyess
This was an interesting read. :)
A few things to consider...
Logan glanced at his hand holding McKenzie's. >> Logan glanced at his hand, holding McKenzie's.
"Probably not one of my wisest decisions, was it?" >> This appears to be a rhetorical question, so no question mark is needed. It's treated as a statement.
I don't remember where Mac said she fought off three and expected to fight off four men. Even for a man with training, that's a bit much.It sounds a bit pretentious. I've had to give my heroes some flaws to make them more human. Now, please take that with the knowledge that I haven't read a chapter til now, and this may have been explained earlier. (She had MMA training, she's a bad-ass, etc.) Just a thought from a new-comer. :)
I like the name the reviewer suggested. I'd pick the book up and read the back based on that.
Blessings and keep writing!
Deb
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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This was an interesting read. :)
A few things to consider...
Logan glanced at his hand holding McKenzie's. >> Logan glanced at his hand, holding McKenzie's.
"Probably not one of my wisest decisions, was it?" >> This appears to be a rhetorical question, so no question mark is needed. It's treated as a statement.
I don't remember where Mac said she fought off three and expected to fight off four men. Even for a man with training, that's a bit much.It sounds a bit pretentious. I've had to give my heroes some flaws to make them more human. Now, please take that with the knowledge that I haven't read a chapter til now, and this may have been explained earlier. (She had MMA training, she's a bad-ass, etc.) Just a thought from a new-comer. :)
I like the name the reviewer suggested. I'd pick the book up and read the back based on that.
Blessings and keep writing!
Deb
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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McKenzie knows how to handle herself and is more than capable of taking on three men, but not four. This was brought up repeatedly in the first 479 pages of the book. I can't repeat it over and over again or the novel would never finish. I know being new to the story puts you at a disadvantage. Thank you for dropping in.
Comment from royowen
A most exciting episode indeed, Mac' confession says a lot about her, and she's been through a ghastly experience, I wonder who wore the tattoo, it could be vital in exposing the malevolent characters in this episode, beautifully written Barbara, a great episode my friend, blessings, Roy
Typo : A(s) name has come up...
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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A most exciting episode indeed, Mac' confession says a lot about her, and she's been through a ghastly experience, I wonder who wore the tattoo, it could be vital in exposing the malevolent characters in this episode, beautifully written Barbara, a great episode my friend, blessings, Roy
Typo : A(s) name has come up...
Comment Written 28-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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I will make that correction. Thank you for the catch and the kind review.
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Most welcome
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Barb,
Any one that has read your new novel, will agree that your way of explaining what is taking place is excellent.
This chapter has brought out several things we didn't know about McKenzie to me made this chapter very interesting.
Gert
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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Hello Barb,
Any one that has read your new novel, will agree that your way of explaining what is taking place is excellent.
This chapter has brought out several things we didn't know about McKenzie to me made this chapter very interesting.
Gert
Comment Written 28-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
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You are welcome Barb
Gert
Comment from Sankey
Excellent chapter. Felt all the drama and emotion. Still great storytelling. Suggestion in following...If she [was](had been) a long time drinker, definitely.
"Trey, I('ll) put you on
both you and Ulls did one of these this morning my time Monday. if you want me to[o]."
"When I was fourteen, I was awaken(ed) by him
"Missing pieces" looks good.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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Excellent chapter. Felt all the drama and emotion. Still great storytelling. Suggestion in following...If she [was](had been) a long time drinker, definitely.
"Trey, I('ll) put you on
both you and Ulls did one of these this morning my time Monday. if you want me to[o]."
"When I was fourteen, I was awaken(ed) by him
"Missing pieces" looks good.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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I like 'Missing Pieces' too. Thank you for the catches. I have made the corrections.
Comment from BethShelby
The is so interesting. Now, we find out a little about Mac's background. Was the her biological grandfather who molested her and her mother stabbed? It seems she is going to fine. I'm looking forward to reading more.
Beth
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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The is so interesting. Now, we find out a little about Mac's background. Was the her biological grandfather who molested her and her mother stabbed? It seems she is going to fine. I'm looking forward to reading more.
Beth
Comment Written 28-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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Yes, it was her mother's dad. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, the story and the writing is getting better and better. She's in a bad shape and no wonder, as we are starting to learn a few truths about her past and what has just happened to her. Logan does love her a lot. Doesn't he?
I'm still thinking about a title. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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Hi Barbara, the story and the writing is getting better and better. She's in a bad shape and no wonder, as we are starting to learn a few truths about her past and what has just happened to her. Logan does love her a lot. Doesn't he?
I'm still thinking about a title. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 28-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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Yes, Logan does love her a lot, but there will a twist with that too. Thank you for the kind review.
