THE TRINING Book Three
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "The Dog That Rhuether Kicks"JOURNEY INTO REDEMPTION
41 total reviews
Comment from Walter L. Jones
edges of life linger on the edges of dreams, who plays the role and who is lost in the dream, as writers we control all edges, in the water of words are fill never comes, enjoyed.. Walt
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2016
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edges of life linger on the edges of dreams, who plays the role and who is lost in the dream, as writers we control all edges, in the water of words are fill never comes, enjoyed.. Walt
Comment Written 26-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2016
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Now that's what I'm talking about! As writers we control all edges. Well put, my dear friend. Who plays the role and who is lost in the dream. And that's the balance I try to achieve. Thanks for seeing that.
Comment from Sis Cat
What tension. I am reminded of the tea party with the Mad Hatter in "Alice in Wonderland." The chapter is vivid with strong descriptions of characters and fine dining. Axtilla's searching, caressing toe ended this chapter with an alluring, dangerous note. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2015
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What tension. I am reminded of the tea party with the Mad Hatter in "Alice in Wonderland." The chapter is vivid with strong descriptions of characters and fine dining. Axtilla's searching, caressing toe ended this chapter with an alluring, dangerous note. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2015
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I'm happy you got to read this, Andre. The story will definitely start taking a different turn over the next couple of chapters.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
You should be a food critic, Jay. This made me extremely hungry. Well written aas always with nice attention to detail, especially the food--maybe I should eat supper, LOL. Have a good night, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2015
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You should be a food critic, Jay. This made me extremely hungry. Well written aas always with nice attention to detail, especially the food--maybe I should eat supper, LOL. Have a good night, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 09-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2015
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Hahaha! A lot of people liked the food scene. I was spoiled by reading the Great Gatsby and the food scene there. Always in the back of my mind I try to compete with the great F Scott.
Comment from Writingfundimension
Each chapter of this novel reveals a little more of the mystery of what makes Rhuether tick. One moment he's a tyrant and the next he's doing all he can to pacify Axtilla. Seems he's much less confident than he'd like to appear. My sense is he is surrounded by people he's abused, like Chiel, who would be glad to see him dead.
Fascinating, Jay!
:) Bev
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2015
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Each chapter of this novel reveals a little more of the mystery of what makes Rhuether tick. One moment he's a tyrant and the next he's doing all he can to pacify Axtilla. Seems he's much less confident than he'd like to appear. My sense is he is surrounded by people he's abused, like Chiel, who would be glad to see him dead.
Fascinating, Jay!
:) Bev
Comment Written 09-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2015
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Many thanks, Bev. I'm thrilled you're enjoying this.
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You're very welcome, Jay.
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Jay Squires,
Lovely piece of story and "CHARACTER LIST (AS NEEDED)" has made it lovelier and more interesting!
Wording as well as the style is very impressive, particularly your way of describing the scenes and characters' actions is noteworthy.
The wine-meat party - mouth-watering scene indeed!
Its last two and half lines are working as a nice motivator - an excellent hook!
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2015
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Hello Jay Squires,
Lovely piece of story and "CHARACTER LIST (AS NEEDED)" has made it lovelier and more interesting!
Wording as well as the style is very impressive, particularly your way of describing the scenes and characters' actions is noteworthy.
The wine-meat party - mouth-watering scene indeed!
Its last two and half lines are working as a nice motivator - an excellent hook!
Comment Written 09-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2015
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Many thanks, RP. You don't know how pleased I am that this chapter resonates with you. Hope you continue on.
Comment from Selina Stambi
Fabulous chapter, Jay. A female protagonist always adds colour and spark to a story.
Question: does Axtialia still have the 'alien' appearance described in the first chapter?
Nice cliffhanger. High drama!
Popping in for a brief visit. Glad I found this post in my mailbox.
Sonali
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2015
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Fabulous chapter, Jay. A female protagonist always adds colour and spark to a story.
Question: does Axtialia still have the 'alien' appearance described in the first chapter?
Nice cliffhanger. High drama!
Popping in for a brief visit. Glad I found this post in my mailbox.
Sonali
Comment Written 08-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2015
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Shoot! You would remember that first chapter! A couple of chapters back (Excuse me, these are chapters I've written, but haven't posted yet), I had Doctrex realizing her eyes weren't as large as they had been (over twice as large) and he accounted it to possibly his physical condition at the time. Hey, I'm struggling, okay? We'll see if it comes across as reasonable.
Meanwhile, thanks, Sonali for the 6 stars. How do you keep your sixes so long? I'm lucky to get past Sunday.
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I have sixes to spare because my time on FS these days is rare and limited, Jay. Relieved to hear that A is not really strange and un-human-looking!
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Really, when I try to market this and go through a massive re-edit, I think I'll leave that part out.
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But that's what stayed with me and intrigued me. That he could love her when she looked that way. You have to find some way of keeping that part, Jay.
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See how easy I am. I'll do it. Were you with me from book one all the way to now? I'm impressed.
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I was there from chapter one, book one. As much as I was able when I was around ...
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Wow, that's like reading a 1,000 page novel. Not trying to make you feel bad about how you spent the last couple of years of your life.
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Okay, now you're laughing at me.
Comment from CEO2020
By reading your work I can feel how much of yourself you put into your writing. I am an aspiring author - just finished my first book and preparing to seek an agent. Reading an accomplished novelist is inspiring to me but as equally inspiring is reading the works of the artists who write for hobby,
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2015
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By reading your work I can feel how much of yourself you put into your writing. I am an aspiring author - just finished my first book and preparing to seek an agent. Reading an accomplished novelist is inspiring to me but as equally inspiring is reading the works of the artists who write for hobby,
Comment Written 08-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2015
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Many thanks for reading this. I hope you continue on with it as well as my other novel, "Down and Out in Austin" just starting today or tomorrow. Good luck with your agent finding.
Comment from alvina224224
There's still a lot of tension in this story, Jay, and very easily imaged action. Phrases like '...a vanishing smile in that flash of movement...' and '...a shattering of glass against tile...' draw vivid images and allow the reader to draw pictures easier. Congratulations for the Recognised Awards.
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2015
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There's still a lot of tension in this story, Jay, and very easily imaged action. Phrases like '...a vanishing smile in that flash of movement...' and '...a shattering of glass against tile...' draw vivid images and allow the reader to draw pictures easier. Congratulations for the Recognised Awards.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2015
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Thank you, Alvina, for reading this and the other chapters. I hope you continue to come back.
Comment from ciliverde
Excellent chapter, rife with tension. I admit I'm confused as to why Rheuther threw his plate on the floor. Some kind of power play, but to what end? Cheil is a fascinating character, and much more than just a serving man. Finally...the story of Viktor surfaces...another layer of this deep, fascinating tale.
Carol
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2015
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Excellent chapter, rife with tension. I admit I'm confused as to why Rheuther threw his plate on the floor. Some kind of power play, but to what end? Cheil is a fascinating character, and much more than just a serving man. Finally...the story of Viktor surfaces...another layer of this deep, fascinating tale.
Carol
Comment Written 08-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2015
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Rhuether threw his plate on the floor in a childish attempt to exert his power. He is almost immediately regretful. He is going through some deep emotional stuff that Doctrex is aware of and has a handle on.
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Okay, so it was just a childish fit. That makes sense now. I did pick up on the almost instant regret.
Comment from Neonewman
So the tension seems to be mounting here Jay! I can tell you this much, when I read your work, I am inspired to reach for the stars my friend. Thank you for sharing yet another awesome chapter.
God bless
Steve
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2015
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So the tension seems to be mounting here Jay! I can tell you this much, when I read your work, I am inspired to reach for the stars my friend. Thank you for sharing yet another awesome chapter.
God bless
Steve
Comment Written 08-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2015
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God bless you, Steve. Do reach for the stars. I have all my life. Thanks for reading this and for your kind and generous remarks.
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My pleasure for sure Jay!
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My pleasure for sure Jay!