THE TRINING Book Three
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "You Will Dine With Us Tonight"JOURNEY INTO REDEMPTION
35 total reviews
Comment from MaBaker
out are a very fine writer Jay That is why I didn't mind the things you pointed out in my Chapter. There are no typos that I could see. All-in all- a finely written chapter. You earned the stars. MaBaker
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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out are a very fine writer Jay That is why I didn't mind the things you pointed out in my Chapter. There are no typos that I could see. All-in all- a finely written chapter. You earned the stars. MaBaker
Comment Written 14-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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Again, thank you, for your reading my post. I'm so happy you're enjoying it.
Comment from GracieAnn
Jay,
Thank you for the well-crafted write and for the end character descriptions and connecting their relationships. It helped get me updated. Very refreshing creativity, my friend. Easy to read dialogue. :0 GracieAnn
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2015
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Jay,
Thank you for the well-crafted write and for the end character descriptions and connecting their relationships. It helped get me updated. Very refreshing creativity, my friend. Easy to read dialogue. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 11-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2015
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I hope you got my more extended answer earlier. It some how got swallowed up. Just know that I enjoyed your comments and appreciated them
Comment from --Turtle.
Hi Jay,
I read through this Trining chapter, not much stopped me, so the flow of sentences were in good shape, OR ... I was just absorbed into the drama unfolding wondering if Axtilla was going to there for dinner, or if Glnot is poking at his sore spots and Axtilla is really chained up in the basement... or what could be really happening under the surface of what seems to be happening. So I went with six stars.
With the word[,] "us"(,)? Axtilla stormed into my mind[,] and populated my
(This is my gut reaction ...
"Cooperation. Yes. I agree, but ..." He blew out a puff of air and took his eyes off
(I'm wondering If Glnot is playing along with Doctrex's playing along, but maybe not... )
leave it at that. For the time being."
(Uh, oh, hopefully Doctrex doesn't lose his cool. My interest perked here)
"Well, she said you left her while she slept."
(girls don't like that... puts them in an awful scorned mood. Good cliff hanger, Doctrex's emotions are showing to the reader, there is uncertainty that he's doing as well as he thinks in keeping them from Glnot, who seems a bit off hinged, but he is someone who's done a fair job of winning. I like the emotional tearing at ... Does Axtilla care for Doctrex? Or is she playing her part. An easy chapter to read, The touchbacks on all sorts of events that happened in the past reads well, from moment to moment, and even though I wasn't there, I was able to follow along.)
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2015
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Hi Jay,
I read through this Trining chapter, not much stopped me, so the flow of sentences were in good shape, OR ... I was just absorbed into the drama unfolding wondering if Axtilla was going to there for dinner, or if Glnot is poking at his sore spots and Axtilla is really chained up in the basement... or what could be really happening under the surface of what seems to be happening. So I went with six stars.
With the word[,] "us"(,)? Axtilla stormed into my mind[,] and populated my
(This is my gut reaction ...
"Cooperation. Yes. I agree, but ..." He blew out a puff of air and took his eyes off
(I'm wondering If Glnot is playing along with Doctrex's playing along, but maybe not... )
leave it at that. For the time being."
(Uh, oh, hopefully Doctrex doesn't lose his cool. My interest perked here)
"Well, she said you left her while she slept."
(girls don't like that... puts them in an awful scorned mood. Good cliff hanger, Doctrex's emotions are showing to the reader, there is uncertainty that he's doing as well as he thinks in keeping them from Glnot, who seems a bit off hinged, but he is someone who's done a fair job of winning. I like the emotional tearing at ... Does Axtilla care for Doctrex? Or is she playing her part. An easy chapter to read, The touchbacks on all sorts of events that happened in the past reads well, from moment to moment, and even though I wasn't there, I was able to follow along.)
Comment Written 11-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2015
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I was thrilled, Turtle, that you enjoyed this enough to give it a 6 star rating. I'll check out that comma use, though I am so flummoxed by commas I don't know what to do.
Comment from barkingdog
The more they talk the more I understand. They seem to be feeling each other out. Ginot may be wanting to trust but isn't able to, guarding against possible betrayal, knowing Axtilla's feelings for Pondria/ Doctrex.
Doctrex somehow needs to meet with Axtilla to complete their plan.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2015
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The more they talk the more I understand. They seem to be feeling each other out. Ginot may be wanting to trust but isn't able to, guarding against possible betrayal, knowing Axtilla's feelings for Pondria/ Doctrex.
Doctrex somehow needs to meet with Axtilla to complete their plan.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2015
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You hit the nail on the head, Ellen. I'm happy you are a thinking critter. You're filling in the gaps nicely.
Comment from krprice
"Of course, brother. . . Do not capitalize 'b' in brother. You did that several times in the chapter.
Scowling? Having. . . Delete 'that'.
Watch the punctuation for commas in a series. You left one out before 'and'.
Excellent chapter.
Karlene
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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"Of course, brother. . . Do not capitalize 'b' in brother. You did that several times in the chapter.
Scowling? Having. . . Delete 'that'.
Watch the punctuation for commas in a series. You left one out before 'and'.
Excellent chapter.
Karlene
Comment Written 10-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Thanks, Karlene. I'll check into the capitalization thing. Commas. Bah! I'm starting a campaign to put one after every word, so there will be no problem!
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Yes he did disappear while she slept. But will she still hold that against him, or will she know that he had no choice?? that is the question we are all waiting to see the answer to. I can't figure out what is going to happen, but I'm very curious. Giddy
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Yes he did disappear while she slept. But will she still hold that against him, or will she know that he had no choice?? that is the question we are all waiting to see the answer to. I can't figure out what is going to happen, but I'm very curious. Giddy
Comment Written 10-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Well, you still remember the scene. Great! THanks for haning in there. Glad you're still curious.
Comment from Selina Stambi
Axtillia is back - good, good ... good!
Good formatting, Jay. Easy on the eye.
Excellent chapter, dear sir!
Sonali
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Axtillia is back - good, good ... good!
Good formatting, Jay. Easy on the eye.
Excellent chapter, dear sir!
Sonali
Comment Written 09-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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AH! THE SIX! Thanks, sonali, and yes. Axtilla IS back. We'll see where that goes!
Comment from Sasha
I am leery of what Rheuther is saying to Pondria about Axtilla's feelings. I just don't trust him. Terrific dialogue, something you do very well. Marvelous imagery too. I am terrible about editing but I didn't find anything that needed correcting or changing. You are doing a terrific job with this complicated but fascinating story. Sorry I took so long to get to this. Only doing a few review every day.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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I am leery of what Rheuther is saying to Pondria about Axtilla's feelings. I just don't trust him. Terrific dialogue, something you do very well. Marvelous imagery too. I am terrible about editing but I didn't find anything that needed correcting or changing. You are doing a terrific job with this complicated but fascinating story. Sorry I took so long to get to this. Only doing a few review every day.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Don't worry about delays, Sasha. With what you went through, you're forgiven.
Comment from Loren (7)
Your title "You Will Dine with us Tonight" sounds like something some mafia figure would say :). As the chapter unfolded, however I began to understand. This is just my sense of your character GLNOT RHUETHER - he seems to have too much power - being able to control dreams is pretty heady stuff. Loren
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Your title "You Will Dine with us Tonight" sounds like something some mafia figure would say :). As the chapter unfolded, however I began to understand. This is just my sense of your character GLNOT RHUETHER - he seems to have too much power - being able to control dreams is pretty heady stuff. Loren
Comment Written 09-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Hey, Loren, thanks for the six stars. There will be a lot of twists and turns before this ends. Glad you're back aboard.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write, jay, I enjoyed reading this chapter and getting the history. because of my infrequency over the last month, I have missed a lot of reading.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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this is an excellent write, jay, I enjoyed reading this chapter and getting the history. because of my infrequency over the last month, I have missed a lot of reading.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Thanks, sweetwoodjax. Glad to have you here reading this.