THE TRINING Book Three
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "You Are Very Reckless, Doctrex"JOURNEY INTO REDEMPTION
31 total reviews
Comment from Fridayauthor
This reads particularly well, Jay. It is very precise, without a lot of unnecessary words.
I especially like the level of tension.
Thanks!
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2015
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This reads particularly well, Jay. It is very precise, without a lot of unnecessary words.
I especially like the level of tension.
Thanks!
Comment Written 14-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2015
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Hey, Ray. Thanks for reading this. When can we expect to get further posts from you. Many thanks for the six.
Comment from XGoneX
Hi Jay,
This chapter was well written, and easy to follow for someone who doesn't know the story like me, although I was not sure who was the person Doctrex was talking with. Perhaps you could have put his name instead of "he" in a place.
So Zarbs was executed, and that surprises Doctrex.
A closed-lipped smile spread under his moustache - I like this description.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2015
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Hi Jay,
This chapter was well written, and easy to follow for someone who doesn't know the story like me, although I was not sure who was the person Doctrex was talking with. Perhaps you could have put his name instead of "he" in a place.
So Zarbs was executed, and that surprises Doctrex.
A closed-lipped smile spread under his moustache - I like this description.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2015
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THanks for reading, Jade. I can appreciate the difficulties. This is the last book in a Trilogy and the characters are fairly well established. If it's not clear in the dialogue I use speech tags--sometimes the name, sometimes "he".
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Yep, sorry about that. It can be a bit like jumping into the third book of Twilight, ahah. Although I'm not a fan of the twilight books or the writer. But I love the vampire diary series and the writer.
Comment from Curly Girly
This was a well written chapter, as usual, Jay. No problems spotted. Warfare is always grisly. There are no pretty wars, and sadly, people do lose their heads, no matter what.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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This was a well written chapter, as usual, Jay. No problems spotted. Warfare is always grisly. There are no pretty wars, and sadly, people do lose their heads, no matter what.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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Thanks for reading this, Nicole and for your kind words. Some game changing chapters ahead.
Comment from chasennov
Chapter 25 of the book THE TRINING Book Three Could Recklessness Be Confused With Courage? "You Are Very Reckless, Doctrex" An excellent chapter you have again created here, Jay. No matter how hard I look, I find no fault, as usual. very well done.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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Chapter 25 of the book THE TRINING Book Three Could Recklessness Be Confused With Courage? "You Are Very Reckless, Doctrex" An excellent chapter you have again created here, Jay. No matter how hard I look, I find no fault, as usual. very well done.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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THanks for reading,Chas. There's a game-changing event coming in a couple of chapters.
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You are most welcome, Jay.
Comment from Selina Stambi
"What makes you think you'll be here that long, Doctrex?" ... yikes!
Hi Jay,
Great chapter. What a cliffhanger ...
So glad old Doc is back!
Nicely done, friend.
Sonali
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2015
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"What makes you think you'll be here that long, Doctrex?" ... yikes!
Hi Jay,
Great chapter. What a cliffhanger ...
So glad old Doc is back!
Nicely done, friend.
Sonali
Comment Written 29-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2015
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Now you really got me confused, you lovely six-wielding feline. I thought you changed to Selina, cause you didn't like Sonali. Thanks though for the delightful review. Glad you're happy Doctrex is back.
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Selina Stambi is a play on my first and last names. I plan to use it as a pen name. Meow!
Comment from Sis Cat
Oh, boy, what a cliffhanger ending: "What makes you think you'll be here that long, Doctrex?"
I agree with Doctrex. I do not trust GlnoT or his story about Zarb's execution.
What struck me about this chapter was the tension between Doctrex and Glnot. This was tight dialogue, a cat and mouse game. Both wanted something from the other, but Glnot has the upper hand, even in regards to lighting the torch. The dialogue drew me into your story.
I next noticed your vivid prose that made pictures in my imagination, for example, "grizzly lollypop" and "he tapped the tips of the spread fingers of one hand against the finger tips of the other, looking to me like two spiders engaged in testing each other's resolve." This is cinematic storytelling.
I have found no spags, just enjoyment in reading imaginative fiction. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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Oh, boy, what a cliffhanger ending: "What makes you think you'll be here that long, Doctrex?"
I agree with Doctrex. I do not trust GlnoT or his story about Zarb's execution.
What struck me about this chapter was the tension between Doctrex and Glnot. This was tight dialogue, a cat and mouse game. Both wanted something from the other, but Glnot has the upper hand, even in regards to lighting the torch. The dialogue drew me into your story.
I next noticed your vivid prose that made pictures in my imagination, for example, "grizzly lollypop" and "he tapped the tips of the spread fingers of one hand against the finger tips of the other, looking to me like two spiders engaged in testing each other's resolve." This is cinematic storytelling.
I have found no spags, just enjoyment in reading imaginative fiction. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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You've made me so happy with your crit, Andre. I always want to stop, mid-way through, and ask, "Is he talking about me?" Your enthusiasm is encouraging, Andre. Thanks!
Comment from krprice
"Tell me, am. . . " Capitalize the H in he.
Once again. . . delete unnecessary 'that.'
Check the punctuation in a series of words.
Excellent chapter.
Karlene
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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"Tell me, am. . . " Capitalize the H in he.
Once again. . . delete unnecessary 'that.'
Check the punctuation in a series of words.
Excellent chapter.
Karlene
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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THanks for reading, Karlene. By the way did you get the Scrivener program? I'll check the "h" and the "that". Was it in the sentence beginning "Once again"? or is it the school marm tapping her foot and saying, "Once again, Jay, delete your unnecessary "thats"? Just giving you a hard time.
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No, I read a bunch of reviews and will probably buy Writeitnow5, but not until spring since I want time to learn it. Hopefully by that time, I'll have my YA written.
Karlene
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They have a good book on Amazon to explain it. I'd suggest you get it. It's not e-print, but well worth the investment.
Comment from Patricia Dsouza
Your writing is remarkable and refined. I value the way you progress and flow throughout. You have remarkably brilliant skills. Plus it is recognized and I am glad that it is.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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Your writing is remarkable and refined. I value the way you progress and flow throughout. You have remarkably brilliant skills. Plus it is recognized and I am glad that it is.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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Thank you so much, Patricia. Glad you enjoyed it and will be back? How refined is that?
Comment from Sasha
I enjoyed this chapter. Your writing keeps me wanting to find out what is going to happen next. This has great dialogue and superb descriptive details. As you already know, I am terrible with spags so I will leave that task to those that know what they are doing. Great work with this chapter. I anxiously look forward to the next.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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I enjoyed this chapter. Your writing keeps me wanting to find out what is going to happen next. This has great dialogue and superb descriptive details. As you already know, I am terrible with spags so I will leave that task to those that know what they are doing. Great work with this chapter. I anxiously look forward to the next.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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Sasha, thank you so much for your six stars. I am so grateful, but as much for your kind words. I'm happy you are enjoying the series.
Comment from RahulChadha
I don't l know how do I comment this but it was simply awesome. Perfect vocabulary, perfect grammar and perfect punctuations. It didn't loose track throughout. I loved it.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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I don't l know how do I comment this but it was simply awesome. Perfect vocabulary, perfect grammar and perfect punctuations. It didn't loose track throughout. I loved it.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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Sounds to me like you did a dang good job of it, Rahul. Thank you so much for reading. I hope this means I will have you as a regular.