Comment from Eigle Rull

Excellent

You are truly a good writer. I found no errors of any kind. This was an interesting chapter. The storyline is great and the dialog was true. The dialog made the story come to life, in my opinion. It held my attention very well and I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for bringing it to my attention, my friend.

Always with respect,

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2015

---

reply by the author on 01-Apr-2015

I'm thrilled you got to read it, my friend. A bonus that you enjoyed it! Thanks so very much!

Comment from madhatter1977

Exceptional

Very intriguing, Jay! I like the subterfuge going on and the excellent hostility and peace-making between the protagonists. I will have to read the back chapters if I can. Best wishes, Pete :)

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2015

---

reply by the author on 01-Apr-2015

Bless you, bless you, Pete! I am humbled by your six stars. Thank you so much.

reply by madhatter1977 on 01-Apr-2015

You're very welcome, my friend. It's a great chapter - I follow so many people I find it hard to keep up! Best wishes, Pete :)

Comment from Patrick G Cox

Excellent

Hi Jay Squires,

The Colonel seems to be a bit of a wimp, and it sounds like he's in deep doo-doo one way or another. The dialogue certainly leads one to conclude that he's well out of his depth.

Nicely done, clever move hiding the bodies , one hopes they'll be retrieved before decomposition really sets in.

Patrick

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2015

---

reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015

Good point about the decomposition, Patrick. Actually the troops are only a half-hour away from the pond, but you've raised a good point. If it crossed your mind it's probably done the same for other readers. When I do the edit on this, I shall plant that information in. Thanks for the heads up. And, I SO appreciate your reading this chapter, Patrick. The REAL action is just down the way a piece.

Comment from chasennov

Excellent

Even Zarbs Deserves Better Than That! THE TRINING Book Three Muddy Knees & Brief Shallow Graves. A gripping story you have created within this fine chapter here, Jay. Have you actually written this anthem, 'My Kabeez?' Well done.

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2015

---

reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015

Thank you, Chas. Happy to have you back!

reply by chasennov on 31-Mar-2015

You are most welcome, Jay.

Comment from marijmd

Exceptional

A finely written scene Jay! So touching and perfectly evoking of the right emotions for honoring the dead. The dialogue was exceptional and the pace of the chapter strong.


:) Maria

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2015

---

reply by the author on 30-Mar-2015

Bless you, Maria! You are a spark of sparkle in what is now my sparkling day! I'm so happy you enjoyed the scene. And I just love the chartreuse cross standing like a general before his army of five red stars. Thanks!

Comment from Walter L. Jones

Exceptional

The world is filled, and the write brings more than a smile, for it is the writer living, and the story carrying me along, so many corners, rounding edges, not black and white, a touch of gray, special the skill, I like this a great deal. Walt

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2015

---

reply by the author on 30-Mar-2015

I knew you liked this series, Walt. This is why your review, and wonderful rating mean so much to me.

Comment from krprice

Excellent

Check punctuation.

Sure. . . I remember you see, colonel. . . to unifying. . .

I heard. . .Suggest: To the left, someone spoke my name softly. . .

Good chapter.

Karlene

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2015

---

reply by the author on 30-Mar-2015

Thank you, Karlene. I'm sorry, I have no clue what you are trying to tell me: "Sure. . . I remember you see, colonel. . . to unifying. . ."

I changed the second suggest to: "Someone whispered my name."

Thanks again.

reply by krprice on 30-Mar-2015

Sure. . .I remember you see colonel... to (change unify to unifying)

Hope this helps.

reply by the author on 30-Mar-2015

Now I understand your meaning. With " I knew how important My Kabeez was to unify the troops..." the "two unify" would be correct or I could change it to "IN unifying". The problem is I don't know the grammatical rule showing I am correct with "to unify". I do have a pretty good grammatical ear, however (except for commas), and to me "to unifying" doesn't sound "right".

The other matter, I agreed with you 100 percent and changed the structure, removing the "I heard".

Comment from boxergirl

Exceptional

This is a moving scene, Jay, with the descriptive details about the burial scene and about his goodbye to Galvin which show how deeply the emotional pull it is on Doctrex. Also,
he continues to keep Zarbs in line. Well written as usual. 8-)

 Comment Written 29-Mar-2015

---

reply by the author on 29-Mar-2015

Bless you, Karen, and thanks you so much for the six stars and generous words of encouragement.

Comment from amahra

Excellent

I think this is the most moving chapter I've read of this book. I really loved the detailed writing of the burial site. Very descriptive writing put me right there.

 Comment Written 29-Mar-2015

---

reply by the author on 29-Mar-2015

Why, thank you, Ama! I appreciate that. Glad you found it so moving. Things start happening with the next chapter.

Comment from GWHARGIS

Excellent

This was a very emotional chapter. I liked the awkward air between Doctrex and the high general. It was very moving the burial scene. Good strong imagery, especially the decription if the burial site. The smoke rising off the water. Very nice. Gretchen

 Comment Written 29-Mar-2015

---

reply by the author on 29-Mar-2015

Thanks, Gretchen. It was not an easy chapter to write. I so want to get him off the wagon and into the palace.