The Christmas Baby
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Hiding In Plain Sight"Sam n Sarah get a baby with dire consequences
9 total reviews
Comment from Mistydawn
This was an intriguing chapter start to finish. Loved your description in this. Could you expand on it, paint a better picture, pull the reader into your world? For instance when he pictures her in an alley describe it more, or the milky halo of the sun perhaps talk about blinding snow, or the crisp morning air. This is just suggestions, food for thought.
Anyhow, nicely done, look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2025
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This was an intriguing chapter start to finish. Loved your description in this. Could you expand on it, paint a better picture, pull the reader into your world? For instance when he pictures her in an alley describe it more, or the milky halo of the sun perhaps talk about blinding snow, or the crisp morning air. This is just suggestions, food for thought.
Anyhow, nicely done, look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2025
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You're right, I've pulled back from coloring in scenes, and this is a good reminder. I recall once describing in another scene the snow blinding effect of the sun's reflection off the snow when driving.
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That's why we're here to learn and grow, right? Boy did I get a handful of that. I didn't realize my last chapter was overflowing with dialogue tags and I know better. Live and learn, right?
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Stan.
Sam has allowed his confusion and his uncertainty put him into a box. Now, there's more tension and he seems to be allowing himself to become a little paranoid about the events. Taylor's boyfriend may actually be a legitimate concern for him. The house event is still a mystery, but we'll find out soon enough. As the tension builds, it appears Sam needs to make some very important decisions quickly.
Robert
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2025
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Hello Stan.
Sam has allowed his confusion and his uncertainty put him into a box. Now, there's more tension and he seems to be allowing himself to become a little paranoid about the events. Taylor's boyfriend may actually be a legitimate concern for him. The house event is still a mystery, but we'll find out soon enough. As the tension builds, it appears Sam needs to make some very important decisions quickly.
Robert
Comment Written 19-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2025
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Thanks Robert! Appreciate you.
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You're welcome, Stan.
Comment from lyenochka
Well, at least, now Sam prayed. I wish he had prayed earlier but sometimes we don't want to know the answer. He really shouldn't have taken Taylor to his house but he was very emotionally distraught at the time. Taylor was, too.
I'm guessing since Sam saw the tail lights of a car the night before, that only Taylor is in the house. I'll have to wait and see!
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2025
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Well, at least, now Sam prayed. I wish he had prayed earlier but sometimes we don't want to know the answer. He really shouldn't have taken Taylor to his house but he was very emotionally distraught at the time. Taylor was, too.
I'm guessing since Sam saw the tail lights of a car the night before, that only Taylor is in the house. I'll have to wait and see!
Comment Written 19-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2025
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Thanks for the important aspects you remind me of, I appreciate how you remember past scenes and plot developments.
Comment from Jim Wile
An interesting turn to the story, Stan. Now that the police are here, Taylor and Chris's presence in the house will surely be made known, and Sam will have to explain everything to Sarah.
Sam certainly is having second thoughts about everything and now knows he shouldn't have gotten involved in Taylor's life quite the way he did. It's tough to balance things when all you want to do is give a helping hand, but it just isn't always that easy. He's going to need a lot more spiritual guidance it would seem.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2025
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An interesting turn to the story, Stan. Now that the police are here, Taylor and Chris's presence in the house will surely be made known, and Sam will have to explain everything to Sarah.
Sam certainly is having second thoughts about everything and now knows he shouldn't have gotten involved in Taylor's life quite the way he did. It's tough to balance things when all you want to do is give a helping hand, but it just isn't always that easy. He's going to need a lot more spiritual guidance it would seem.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2025
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Thanks Jim. I always appreciate hearing from you.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
WOW! Sam is in big trouble. I can't wait to see how you resolve this problem. I do hope Sarah understands. He can't lose her again. I really like this story.
"Hey Creg. I've got some time off from my job as a janitor, if you need me to come in and cover a shift." (Greg?? or maybe Craig?? I guess Creg is correct, I've seen a few more times. I've never seen that name before.)
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2025
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WOW! Sam is in big trouble. I can't wait to see how you resolve this problem. I do hope Sarah understands. He can't lose her again. I really like this story.
"Hey Creg. I've got some time off from my job as a janitor, if you need me to come in and cover a shift." (Greg?? or maybe Craig?? I guess Creg is correct, I've seen a few more times. I've never seen that name before.)
Comment Written 19-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2025
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Thanks Barbara. I'm always eager and anxious to hear from you.
Comment from Mrs Anna Howard
Wow, the part about Sarah hearing the cellphone ringing over and over again is pretty creepy. That part is my favorite in this episode. I also love the cliffhanger. Looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2025
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Wow, the part about Sarah hearing the cellphone ringing over and over again is pretty creepy. That part is my favorite in this episode. I also love the cliffhanger. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2025
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Thanks for your review. Hope I can encourage you on this site too. I've had an on an off relationship with fanstory since around 2010 or 11. It can fuel your learning and be a source of encouragement.
Comment from patcelaw
This story is getting more and more thrilling as I'm reading it and I wish you the very best with the story. I'm looking forward to seeing each and every chapter that you write. May you have a wonderful day and may God bless you. Patricia.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2025
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This story is getting more and more thrilling as I'm reading it and I wish you the very best with the story. I'm looking forward to seeing each and every chapter that you write. May you have a wonderful day and may God bless you. Patricia.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2025
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Thanks so much Pat.
Comment from royowen
Sam's rushed off, leaving the house, and Sarah seems to be at the mercy of forces she perhaps doesn't understand, and where is Sam? He's not there, beautifully written Stan, blessings Roy
Typo : a scruff(y) looking man. 2 : Sam's heart (ha)?
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2025
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Sam's rushed off, leaving the house, and Sarah seems to be at the mercy of forces she perhaps doesn't understand, and where is Sam? He's not there, beautifully written Stan, blessings Roy
Typo : a scruff(y) looking man. 2 : Sam's heart (ha)?
Comment Written 18-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2025
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Thanks so much Roy.
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Welcome.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Oh wow, what a gut wrencher!! Poor Sam just keeps digging himself in deeper. He broke rules and now he's in trouble. Taylor and the boyfriend are in his house. What started as a good idea, has ended up a nightmare.
Great job,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2025
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Oh wow, what a gut wrencher!! Poor Sam just keeps digging himself in deeper. He broke rules and now he's in trouble. Taylor and the boyfriend are in his house. What started as a good idea, has ended up a nightmare.
Great job,
Rhonda
Comment Written 18-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2025
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Thanks Rhonda. Appreciate input from a top tier writer like yourself.
