The Christmas Baby
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "The Miracle baby"Sam n Sarah get a baby with dire consequences
8 total reviews
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
I like this story, Stan. You are connecting well with the characters, which leads to their believability. It's a heartfelt book pulling on something many of us would be guilty of - self doubt, worry, estrangement from God, family crisis, temptation, even if shrouded in good will.
Take care,
Rhonda
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I like this story, Stan. You are connecting well with the characters, which leads to their believability. It's a heartfelt book pulling on something many of us would be guilty of - self doubt, worry, estrangement from God, family crisis, temptation, even if shrouded in good will.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment Written 14-Feb-2025
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Sam's ego seems to have taken a beating with more than one long-term event. The description of Sam's innermost conflicts helps make him very human to the reader.
Little fixes:
He could barely breath with his face buried in the smashed pillow
I think I might say:
He could barely breathe with his face buried in the mashed pillow
(because 'smashed' sounds more like something broke into pieces)
What if it was someone trying to determine if he was home? Then he breaks in, knowing he can have his way with the place.
I would just change the second sentence to match the verb tense of the first one, maybe like this (I think you could go back to subjunctive tense):
What if it were someone trying to determine if he were home, in order to break in, knowing the intruder could have his way with burgling the place. (Because otherwise it sort of sounds like the place is a person)
"The last thing you need right now as to get too involved with a drug addicted pregnant girl."
I would change 'as' to 'is'
I would put a hyphen between drug and addicted and a comma after addicted.
Baring a premature birth, the child could be born around Christmas.
I think you mean: Barring a premature birth, (just add another r)
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Sam's ego seems to have taken a beating with more than one long-term event. The description of Sam's innermost conflicts helps make him very human to the reader.
Little fixes:
He could barely breath with his face buried in the smashed pillow
I think I might say:
He could barely breathe with his face buried in the mashed pillow
(because 'smashed' sounds more like something broke into pieces)
What if it was someone trying to determine if he was home? Then he breaks in, knowing he can have his way with the place.
I would just change the second sentence to match the verb tense of the first one, maybe like this (I think you could go back to subjunctive tense):
What if it were someone trying to determine if he were home, in order to break in, knowing the intruder could have his way with burgling the place. (Because otherwise it sort of sounds like the place is a person)
"The last thing you need right now as to get too involved with a drug addicted pregnant girl."
I would change 'as' to 'is'
I would put a hyphen between drug and addicted and a comma after addicted.
Baring a premature birth, the child could be born around Christmas.
I think you mean: Barring a premature birth, (just add another r)
Comment Written 24-Jan-2025
Comment from royowen
I love the idea of being a schizophrenic writer, I've got projects in the pipeline all the time, but I I have to finish something otherwise it might take years to get back to it, beautifully written Stan, you do have a good handle on your characters, though, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2025
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I love the idea of being a schizophrenic writer, I've got projects in the pipeline all the time, but I I have to finish something otherwise it might take years to get back to it, beautifully written Stan, you do have a good handle on your characters, though, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 08-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2025
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Thanks Roy. Always appreciate your words.
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Most welcome
Comment from Lana Marie
Well, I think you did a good job since you got me to want to continue to read the whole story here. My husband's father was born with a deformity on one side of his body almost like he had a stroke. So I kinda could picture the way Sam walked around. I'm wondering what's gonna end up happening with the baby if Sam will rescue it or not. Medical profession has come a long way, so I'm not sure how babies turn out that have been developing in the womb of an addict.
Thank you for the read. Happy Tuesday.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2025
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Well, I think you did a good job since you got me to want to continue to read the whole story here. My husband's father was born with a deformity on one side of his body almost like he had a stroke. So I kinda could picture the way Sam walked around. I'm wondering what's gonna end up happening with the baby if Sam will rescue it or not. Medical profession has come a long way, so I'm not sure how babies turn out that have been developing in the womb of an addict.
Thank you for the read. Happy Tuesday.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2025
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Thanks Lana. Really appreciate what you dissect and review.
Comment from patcelaw
A very compelling read, and I enjoyed very much listening to it. This book story speaks to my heart because I gave up a child for adoption when I was quite young. I wish you the very best with all of your writing and I also wish you a very. Patricia.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2025
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A very compelling read, and I enjoyed very much listening to it. This book story speaks to my heart because I gave up a child for adoption when I was quite young. I wish you the very best with all of your writing and I also wish you a very. Patricia.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2025
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Thanks Pat, for your kind review.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I'm a schizophrenic reader because I love both stories. I do hope Taylor agrees to the help and both Sam and his wife heal. I'm glad Doctor Reed is willing to put in the extra effort to help Sam.
Doctor Reed passed the coffee to Sam where they sat down in the family room. (you can omit 'down' it's understood)
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2025
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I'm a schizophrenic reader because I love both stories. I do hope Taylor agrees to the help and both Sam and his wife heal. I'm glad Doctor Reed is willing to put in the extra effort to help Sam.
Doctor Reed passed the coffee to Sam where they sat down in the family room. (you can omit 'down' it's understood)
Comment Written 07-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2025
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Thanks Barbara. Appreciate you skills with review.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Stan.
Sam is certainly a man with a lot of self-image problems. He doesn't think much of himself and unfortunately that spills into the rest of his life it appears. You've made it clear to me that he is certainly entangled in the horns of the dilemma. By definition, a dilemma doesn't have many pleasant outcomes. Your description of Sam's thoughts and behaviors create a sympathetic mood in the reader. As you focus on the character of the main character it does draw a reader into his life.
Robert
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2025
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Hello Stan.
Sam is certainly a man with a lot of self-image problems. He doesn't think much of himself and unfortunately that spills into the rest of his life it appears. You've made it clear to me that he is certainly entangled in the horns of the dilemma. By definition, a dilemma doesn't have many pleasant outcomes. Your description of Sam's thoughts and behaviors create a sympathetic mood in the reader. As you focus on the character of the main character it does draw a reader into his life.
Robert
Comment Written 07-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2025
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Thanks Robert. Appreciate your writings and review.
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You are welcome, Stan.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I really enjoyed your story! The way you show Sam's struggle with depression and his relationship with Doctor Reed is very touching. I loved the detailed descriptions of his house and how you made his emotions so clear. The dialogue between Sam and Doctor Reed felt real.
One small suggestion - maybe add a bit more about Sam's internal thoughts to deepen his character even more. But overall, fantastic job!
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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I really enjoyed your story! The way you show Sam's struggle with depression and his relationship with Doctor Reed is very touching. I loved the detailed descriptions of his house and how you made his emotions so clear. The dialogue between Sam and Doctor Reed felt real.
One small suggestion - maybe add a bit more about Sam's internal thoughts to deepen his character even more. But overall, fantastic job!
Comment Written 06-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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Thanks so much Michael. And I think you are right. In this story I should deepen his internal dialogue. Thanks!
