Reviews from

Willing Hearts

Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Chapter 13 A"
Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?

30 total reviews 
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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That was an emotional chapter, very well written, too. Sami hasn't seen her mother for a while and this wasn't the way she'd have wanted to see her, in hospital. I'm glad that Noah let her see her mother and let her alone while they shared a short sleep. I'm sure Noah is going to reveal those secretive feelings he has for her soon. Anoter excellent chapter, my friend. Well done. :) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
    Noah has a soft side. Thank you .
Comment from Jacob1395
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I could feel the pain Sami was going through after realising she wasn't there for her mom when she needed her I hope her mom is ok and recovers. An excellent chapter, Barbara. I enjoyed reading it.

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 08-Jun-2024
    Thank you for reading when this it didn't have any money attached.
Comment from tfawcus
Excellent
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As always, crisp, natural dialogue. Good emotional tension in the hospital scene. A couple of suggestions:

Tears welled in her eyes ... Tears flowed from Sami's eyes. (Consider rewording)

He then addressed, Bob, "Any news?" (He then addressed Bob. "Any news?")

A doctor examined her and deemed it safe for hip surgery.
(")
"Can I see her?"

they took the Expressway Northeast for quite a few miles before heading on two lane (two-lane) roads toward Safe House E.

Another good chapter with plenty going on. Looking forward to the next one.

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
    I appreciate the help and have made the changes. Thank you.
Comment from judiverse
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Sami's mother's fall was an unexpected turn of events. Falls are too common for older women. I know, because I've had some. It was good that Noah thought of getting Sami to the hospital to visit her mother. I don't know that we need to know where everyone was sitting in the car or how they were walking into the hospital. Noah probably did make an exception in allowing Sami to visit her mother. I hope there aren't bad consequences. Sami forgot to set the alarm when they went out. As she is not a professional, maybe someone else should have checked it. Maybe Noah has other things on his mind. Very compelling chapter. judi

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
    Noah has a lot on his mind. LOL Thank you for the kind review. I put in where everybody sat to show security, but I'll rethink it.
reply by judiverse on 05-Jun-2024
    You're very welcome. judi
Comment from Esther Brown
Excellent
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Glad you are back. It is fun following this story though I admit I lose the thread when I don't read daily. The love story is developing slowly but surely. I am waiting for complications. Esther

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 04-Jun-2024
    Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Daylily
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This was an unexpected chapter with a lot going on. It is a reminder of what people in protective custody are experiencing. It is well written, as always, and I did not notice any typos. Hope you are having a good week! :-)

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 04-Jun-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
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Hi Barbara,
Good to see you back! This was a very interesting post. Sami's mother is injured in a fall, and the team escorted her to the hospital to see her. I'm not sure if this becomes a security breach or not, but it does show Noah is becoming a softy where she's concerned. It was a tender chapter and I think we are all glad mom wasn't hurt too badly.

Take care,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 04-Jun-2024
    Thank you for the kind review, yes Noah is softening.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
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Good story. I will be sad when it ends. It seems beyond weird that their lives have only existed for 18 days. I am still unpacking and organizing. Tired and achy but happy. Karen

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 04-Jun-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Karen Cherry Threadgill on 05-Jun-2024
    :-)
Comment from Teri7
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a really great post you have penned. You used very good descriptive words, great imagery from your words and very good dialogue. I can't wait for the next chapter. love and blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 04-Jun-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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That's so thoughtful of Noah to make it possible for Sami to visit her mom in the hospital. Well, at least, this way he got to meet her parents! Sounds like they are getting closer together and Noah really understands the importance of family even if he didn't have that kind of family life himself.

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 04-Jun-2024
    Thank you for the kind review. Noah had already met her parents. He had lunch with them and filled them in on what's going on in one of the first chapters. Sami was not happy he involved them at the beginning.