The Unwilling Heir
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "The Unwilling Heir - Chap 23"A Mysterious Inheritance and Murders
18 total reviews
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
You did an outstanding job with this chapter, Carol. I highlighted some parts that stood out to me. We see more about Esther and her motivations and past. She relents and goes to see William, who broke her heart and took her baby. We don't know how she died, but I'm guessing suicide.
Now about Benny, we learn more, but not about how he died. Okay, here are the parts that stood out to me:
*He could not tell her that caring for William might be her salvation and redemption. She had to decide her own path.
* "He is not my God, Esther; he is the shepherd of all his lambs, including you."
*their splendor captivating Esther, each whispering forgotten tales.
Take care and goodnight,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2024
  |
You did an outstanding job with this chapter, Carol. I highlighted some parts that stood out to me. We see more about Esther and her motivations and past. She relents and goes to see William, who broke her heart and took her baby. We don't know how she died, but I'm guessing suicide.
Now about Benny, we learn more, but not about how he died. Okay, here are the parts that stood out to me:
*He could not tell her that caring for William might be her salvation and redemption. She had to decide her own path.
* "He is not my God, Esther; he is the shepherd of all his lambs, including you."
*their splendor captivating Esther, each whispering forgotten tales.
Take care and goodnight,
Rhonda
Comment Written 29-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2024
-
I am thrilled that you loved a lot of the same things I did when writing it. Just those little things that make the story special. Thank you so much.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
These spiris act a lot like live people. They just seem to go back and forth between having a body or being a sp8irit. I guess Sandra is okay with it now and wants to know all of thier stories. I guess there may be other still alive besides Sandra but not many. I'm sure she will get the book and key back. I glad this one was still active. I'm so far behind.
reply by the author on 23-May-2024
|
These spiris act a lot like live people. They just seem to go back and forth between having a body or being a sp8irit. I guess Sandra is okay with it now and wants to know all of thier stories. I guess there may be other still alive besides Sandra but not many. I'm sure she will get the book and key back. I glad this one was still active. I'm so far behind.
Comment Written 22-May-2024
reply by the author on 23-May-2024
-
Most mortals wouldn't be allowed into the mansion but Sandra was chosen and I guess Madeline was too. It definitely isn't the story I started out to write, but then the story is writing itself I guess. Thanks for stopping by and reading this piece of wild fiction.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Esther Brown
Caught in the story I almost missed it. "showing how fragile she was" needs revision. by Sebastian's request going earlier maybe? The other thing was the gardener with a knife. Maybe a machete? A knife seems like an odd gardening tool. Esther
reply by the author on 23-May-2024
|
Caught in the story I almost missed it. "showing how fragile she was" needs revision. by Sebastian's request going earlier maybe? The other thing was the gardener with a knife. Maybe a machete? A knife seems like an odd gardening tool. Esther
Comment Written 21-May-2024
reply by the author on 23-May-2024
-
Some of the Spanish people who have worked in my yard carry a large knife, smaller than a machete. But thank you for the suggestions and the review.
Smiles, Crol
-
Reminds me of Crocodile Dundee...now this is a knife! Africans use machetes and hoes. Laughing.
Comment from prettybluebirds
I tried to review this chapter last night but a thunderstorm put an end to my internet for some time. I'm glad Sandra is determined to see things through to the end.
reply by the author on 23-May-2024
|
I tried to review this chapter last night but a thunderstorm put an end to my internet for some time. I'm glad Sandra is determined to see things through to the end.
Comment Written 21-May-2024
reply by the author on 23-May-2024
-
Thanks so much April for continuing to follow the story. Some have different opinions about the ghosts and others enjoy it. I have no idea what a ghost should do so I use my imagination. LOL
Smiles, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
I like how you have shown us people as having redeeming qualities like Benny, a murderer with a heart. And then you also have people who have been hurt helping those who hurt them to redeem themselves and others. Hopefully, Sebastian and Esther will fulfill their missions!
reply by the author on 23-May-2024
|
I like how you have shown us people as having redeeming qualities like Benny, a murderer with a heart. And then you also have people who have been hurt helping those who hurt them to redeem themselves and others. Hopefully, Sebastian and Esther will fulfill their missions!
Comment Written 21-May-2024
reply by the author on 23-May-2024
-
I always hope that there is some good hidden inside each person regardless of what they show us. I can't make anyone totally mean. LOL A writing flaw I guess.
Smiles, Carol
-
That makes you a realistic writer! 💞
-
Thank you! I'm smiling!
Comment from Julie Helms
Everybody's stories seeming to be coming out now. I remain intrigued by the structure of the mansion. I'd like to see a diagram. :-)
Great writing handling the different emotions of the characters skillfully.
Repetitive word:
The loss of the key **left**Sandra in a confusing turmoil that**left**her wondering
Julie
reply by the author on 23-May-2024
|
Everybody's stories seeming to be coming out now. I remain intrigued by the structure of the mansion. I'd like to see a diagram. :-)
Great writing handling the different emotions of the characters skillfully.
Repetitive word:
The loss of the key **left**Sandra in a confusing turmoil that**left**her wondering
Julie
Comment Written 20-May-2024
reply by the author on 23-May-2024
-
It's purgatory...much like the size of heaven I guess. It's not a house that was meant for mortals anymore.... one Sandra who was invited and Madeline who married Noah have been there. Who knows what it would be except for my imagination and yours.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I am so pleased with your storytelling skills and how you can keep me so close to your narrative and left me thinking what's next. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings,
reply by the author on 20-May-2024
 |
I am so pleased with your storytelling skills and how you can keep me so close to your narrative and left me thinking what's next. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings,
Comment Written 20-May-2024
reply by the author on 20-May-2024
-
You are so kind. Thank you for your sweet comments and for the stars... I am thrilled that you enjoyed the chapter. Thank you again!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from karenina
You have the talent of a fine writer and the heart of a Christian soul -- I see redemption is there for those who seek it, even Benny! No doubt in my mind, Esther would go to William -- but I am looking forward to the further chapters, for we have a way to go, don't we?
Karenina
reply by the author on 20-May-2024
|
You have the talent of a fine writer and the heart of a Christian soul -- I see redemption is there for those who seek it, even Benny! No doubt in my mind, Esther would go to William -- but I am looking forward to the further chapters, for we have a way to go, don't we?
Karenina
Comment Written 20-May-2024
reply by the author on 20-May-2024
-
Yes we do and some surprises. I've had a few saying that I was about to wrap it up but not so. At least my mind says there is more to come. LOL I must admit I try to find some good, some piece of salvation in all my characters.... probably not realistic but it's fiction.
Thanks so much as usual.
Smiles...Love ya, Carol
-
We all need some redemption or salvation... and it makes your writing extra special!
-
Thank you! Can you feel the warmth from my smile and hug? I hope so!
Comment from royowen
Things are drawing to a conclusion with all these ethereal beings on earths plain, there doesn't seem room for the living, however, Sandra's on this plain, and may well be privy to what's going on in the ethereal, this tying up the past with the present, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 20-May-2024
|
Things are drawing to a conclusion with all these ethereal beings on earths plain, there doesn't seem room for the living, however, Sandra's on this plain, and may well be privy to what's going on in the ethereal, this tying up the past with the present, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 20-May-2024
reply by the author on 20-May-2024
-
We have a ways to go...first we have to get the clues, then decipher them, and Sandra is determined to get the book back. Ley's not forget that Victoria is on the loose too. then of course Esther tends to William before anything happens. I'm tired just from the thought of all of it. LOL
Smiles, Carol
-
Bless you Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Very interesting chapter. I am sure Esther will find her way to salvation, and equally sure that Sandra will find both the book and the key! So much depends on her. Things are moving towards a climax, when decisions are made and fates are decided.
Wendy
reply by the author on 20-May-2024
|
Very interesting chapter. I am sure Esther will find her way to salvation, and equally sure that Sandra will find both the book and the key! So much depends on her. Things are moving towards a climax, when decisions are made and fates are decided.
Wendy
Comment Written 20-May-2024
reply by the author on 20-May-2024
-
LOL Interesting? Does that mean you are scoffing at my storyline and wondering how on earth I get to these strange and unrealistic places? I laugh at myself because I have no idea where these weird ideas (especially in this story) are coming from..... but I tell myself it's just for fun. In the end, (and things are going to get ugly again) I can't help myself but to give a little goodness to most and hope all is well in the end. It's a fairytale of sorts..... Thanks so much for stopping by this creepy mansion and reviewing. Appreciate it very much.
Smiles, Carol
-
No I am not scoffing. I?m reading with my jaw hanging open. Trying to follow all the complexities and feeling like I am way out of my league. lol. Your creativity amazes me and I don?t know how you can even imagine or keep track of it all. It?s quite fascinating but I feel a bit like a kid trying desperately to think like an adult. It?s a world unlike anything else, and I am trying to come to grips with it. I just said ?interesting? because it is interesting, but it?s also bewildering. I hope I didn?t offend you. If so, apologies. Your writing is amazing.
Wendy
-
Of course not! I just wanted to know if you looked at it like I do? Imagining things how they could be or wish they were when in reality who knows. It's just fun and creepy at the same time. This story is out of my league as well and I an writing by the seat of my pants... there's so much more to come....some wicked and some which I think will move people to tears. At least it did me this morning while I was imaging the possibilities of what might happen. Thanks so much, Wendy. Sweet dreams!
Smiles and hugs, Carol
