Ghost
Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "Pawn"Biography/Supernatural
16 total reviews
Comment from Wendyanne
You had a lot of things to feel depressed about in those days and I hope you are feeling much better these days. My belief is that I first became depressed when I was 9 and my mother suddenly disappeared from my life!!
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2023
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You had a lot of things to feel depressed about in those days and I hope you are feeling much better these days. My belief is that I first became depressed when I was 9 and my mother suddenly disappeared from my life!!
Comment Written 12-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2023
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Oh that's painful i'm so sorry you went through that. We're not wishing that upon anyone except perhaps for myself. In my mother's case, she's very talkative to me and I can't spend time with her. I appreciate your review and for sharing with me. Thank you very much, thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you very time and your fine rating too!
Comment from Wy Jung
This piece came across for review and I found it quite difficult to read.
It reads a bit like a diary entry for some parts, but then strays over to philosophical, then a cry for help.
Being someone who overcame abuse and neglect by helping others laugh and smile and look forward, it's difficult to read someone's thoughts who find themselves so deep in their situation that the only way out is to bring others in.
For reader's sake I would suggest checking the POV and tenses and bringing them into agreement with their counterparts. Also use some language that can insinuate Hope for other kids who are going through being the child of an awful parent or two. My grandmother's reminders that one day I would grow up and leave the adults of my household behind is what pulled me through to adulthood. HOPE. Hope is what brings people to the other side.
I would love to see more HOPE in your future writings.
Personally, I would say that every 'kid' should reach out to others like them.... not simply to complain or commiserate but to share HOPE> Hope is the bridge that brings you over to adulthood in a healthier place, Hope is what empowers. Sharing Hope is the best gift we can give each other.
Glad to see you writing. Words are an amazing tool that can both build and destroy. Use yours to a different end than the adults who mistreat, punish and destroy with theirs. You're on the right track.
WY
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reply by the author on 11-Dec-2023
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This piece came across for review and I found it quite difficult to read.
It reads a bit like a diary entry for some parts, but then strays over to philosophical, then a cry for help.
Being someone who overcame abuse and neglect by helping others laugh and smile and look forward, it's difficult to read someone's thoughts who find themselves so deep in their situation that the only way out is to bring others in.
For reader's sake I would suggest checking the POV and tenses and bringing them into agreement with their counterparts. Also use some language that can insinuate Hope for other kids who are going through being the child of an awful parent or two. My grandmother's reminders that one day I would grow up and leave the adults of my household behind is what pulled me through to adulthood. HOPE. Hope is what brings people to the other side.
I would love to see more HOPE in your future writings.
Personally, I would say that every 'kid' should reach out to others like them.... not simply to complain or commiserate but to share HOPE> Hope is the bridge that brings you over to adulthood in a healthier place, Hope is what empowers. Sharing Hope is the best gift we can give each other.
Glad to see you writing. Words are an amazing tool that can both build and destroy. Use yours to a different end than the adults who mistreat, punish and destroy with theirs. You're on the right track.
WY
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2023
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I thank you so much for your writing. It's very in depth and you thought about it quite a bit I can see.
If I could inject more hope I certainly would. This is an autobio and I must say it as it was. Only truth will do. Unfortunately I went through a whole lot throughout my life. Growing up on the end of a fist. Thank you for your kind comments as well. You're very insightful and can see far. Thank you very much for reviewing and for offering your fine rating. Thank you again. I appreciate this very much I hope you have a great day!
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Thank you for the response. Hope is everywhere...sometimes hidden... where it just needs to be illuminated to be seen. Lifting others with the remains of our own pain is always possible. Always. ...and that, is Hope.
As a 53 year old survivor of my awful childhood, I will say my big healing came when I stopped making my narrative about the pain and instead about the overcoming. Illuminating the power of our own Hope that got us through in the narrative of our own painful stories (...if even a tiny bit illuminated) in favor of illuminating the awfulness or others in our past is how we build up others instead of staying in the pit with all the words that bring pain instead of Hope.
Both stories are true. The Pain and the Promise. BOTH are part of the whole. In this time of awfulness being crammed down our throat at every turn, Hope is where the shiny people turn for the future. Lifting up instead of pulling down.
It's a long journey to heal from adults who were probably also shit on by adults when they were kids. Break the cycle of misery and suffering and chose hope. ..there's the happy ending.
Reach out if you ever want to run ideas or anything. I think you're on to something. I would just like to see some light for others reading it with a familiar knot in their stomach, something that someone your age who is going through (or has been through) super awful horrible adults in their life.
Writing these days needs more side-kicks in my opinion. Young people should be reminded that they're not always as alone as they think. Even an imaginary friend can help if they're talking a real message of positivity and hope and "You're not alone" talk.
Reach out if you ever want to run ideas or get a take on something you're running over in your head. My son is 27 and would say I'm a pretty good person to run things by.
Keep up the writing. Hope to catch up on some of it and offer any feedback that could be helpful.
~WY
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Thank you. I appreciate your kindness and your offer and your wonderful comment. S I feel certainly keep them all in mind that the deal with everyone's and now especially yours. I thank you again I hope you have a great evening!
Comment from JSD
You must have re-promoted this as it popped up on my laptop and I realised I haven't reviewed this one. Your writing of your younger years remains heartbreakingly sad. x
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2023
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You must have re-promoted this as it popped up on my laptop and I realised I haven't reviewed this one. Your writing of your younger years remains heartbreakingly sad. x
Comment Written 11-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2023
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Thank you again I appreciate your comments and your reviews very much! Yes i'm going through the book and doing a few little rewrites here and there reposting some of them as well as working on book two. Thank you again, my friend that's always. I'm so happy to see you here. Don't forget to have an amazing holiday and a fabulous night thanks again!
Comment from Pearl Edwards
There are different degrees of depression and yours was and is certainly severe from what you went through. The end of the beginning paragraph - I wonder what it's like for someone to hug you - that is so sad Lea. I hope you feel the fanstory hugs that go out to you.
valda
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2023
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There are different degrees of depression and yours was and is certainly severe from what you went through. The end of the beginning paragraph - I wonder what it's like for someone to hug you - that is so sad Lea. I hope you feel the fanstory hugs that go out to you.
valda
Comment Written 14-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2023
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That's so kind of you to say thank you I appreciate getting them! Very nice thank you! You're awesome! Thank you again hoping you're having a great night!
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Lea,
You've captured the feelings of depression well. While I never suffered to the degree that you have, I do know a little about it. It's devastating, leaving you physically and mentally drained. You mentioned in one of your reply's that you never really found love. I know that you were married, and I know your husband passed on. Hopefully you loved him and I sincerely hope that in the future you might find true love, but it will require you allowing yourself to love someone unconditionally and taking a chance, something I'm sure you're not overly willing to do. I do wish you all the best gal. I'm so sorry that you and your sister had to endure such a miserable childhood. It's not what God had planned for you. Have a blessed day my friend.
Tom
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2023
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Hello Lea,
You've captured the feelings of depression well. While I never suffered to the degree that you have, I do know a little about it. It's devastating, leaving you physically and mentally drained. You mentioned in one of your reply's that you never really found love. I know that you were married, and I know your husband passed on. Hopefully you loved him and I sincerely hope that in the future you might find true love, but it will require you allowing yourself to love someone unconditionally and taking a chance, something I'm sure you're not overly willing to do. I do wish you all the best gal. I'm so sorry that you and your sister had to endure such a miserable childhood. It's not what God had planned for you. Have a blessed day my friend.
Tom
Comment Written 02-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2023
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Hi Tom, thank you so much. How very insightful you are, indeed I know much. Yes, I love my husband but I was not in love with him. Nor was he with me.
It was a pregnancy conditions. I was in at that time, so we decided to give it a go. That in itself is another story. Thank you so much. I'm so happy to receive your review as always! Thank you again have an amazing day!
Comment from Ric Myworld
Depression can be so intense, like you've said, it can make someone wish themselves dead. But the feeling of being unloved is a totally different pain, but when added to depression, it becomes unbearable. To have someone who loves you as much as you do them is the most important element in life. Yet, most, never find it. They just settle for a substitute to fill the void. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2023
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Depression can be so intense, like you've said, it can make someone wish themselves dead. But the feeling of being unloved is a totally different pain, but when added to depression, it becomes unbearable. To have someone who loves you as much as you do them is the most important element in life. Yet, most, never find it. They just settle for a substitute to fill the void. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2023
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Yes, love has eluded me, that's for sure.
But it doesn't mean I can't give love and so I do. It's such a rare commodity. Thank you for your thoughtful review once again. I appreciate you and your comments have a great night!
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This chapter helps explain how there was persistent depression as another consequence of years-long neglect and abuse, even if it wasn't every single day of your life. Depression definitely can remove normal appetite cravings for food.
One suggestion:
So I laid there. I laid there for days, refusing anything except for a little bit of water.
I would change 'laid' to 'lay.'
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2023
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This chapter helps explain how there was persistent depression as another consequence of years-long neglect and abuse, even if it wasn't every single day of your life. Depression definitely can remove normal appetite cravings for food.
One suggestion:
So I laid there. I laid there for days, refusing anything except for a little bit of water.
I would change 'laid' to 'lay.'
Comment Written 31-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2023
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OK thank you so much. I appreciate your edit suggestions and any corrections you think I should make equally valuable to me? I also value your opinion too. Because you are such an accomplished intelligent writer. Your opinion means something. Thank you for stopping and then reading it again.
I appreciate you.!
Comment from LJbutterfly
That was the strongest thing you could have said, "But not today." It means you gave yourself another day to think, plan, and fight. There are so many enemies surrounding you that you have to be alert enough to seek God's help. You can't fight all of that evil by yourself. You survived the woods which was a miracle.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023
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That was the strongest thing you could have said, "But not today." It means you gave yourself another day to think, plan, and fight. There are so many enemies surrounding you that you have to be alert enough to seek God's help. You can't fight all of that evil by yourself. You survived the woods which was a miracle.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023
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I always talk to God even if
If he's not listening, I talk.
It helps me to decide my next move and how I do it. Thank you for your compassion and kind words, I very much appreciate it. I hope you have a marvelous night.!
Comment from Sally Law
Sweet woman, I am so sorry. Yes, it's unbearable to read this and to see how terribly your stepfather crippled you. I am blind thankfully, and type with my voice so my tears aren't the issue in reviewing your post today.
I do understand this kind of depression though as going blind late in life has been devestating to me. Part of my healing has been FanStory, that and my faith, a loving husband and family, all good reasons to get out of bed and embrace life.
You have much to give, and are you're obviously beautiful and talented. You have discovered these things and lived to tell about them too. Brava! I appreciate you being so brave, Lea. I still find it difficult to speak about certain parts of my life.
Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes for your journey. Blessings,
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023
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Sweet woman, I am so sorry. Yes, it's unbearable to read this and to see how terribly your stepfather crippled you. I am blind thankfully, and type with my voice so my tears aren't the issue in reviewing your post today.
I do understand this kind of depression though as going blind late in life has been devestating to me. Part of my healing has been FanStory, that and my faith, a loving husband and family, all good reasons to get out of bed and embrace life.
You have much to give, and are you're obviously beautiful and talented. You have discovered these things and lived to tell about them too. Brava! I appreciate you being so brave, Lea. I still find it difficult to speak about certain parts of my life.
Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes for your journey. Blessings,
Sal XOs
Comment Written 30-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023
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Thank you, I so appreciate this kind review you have given so thoughtful. Thank you for that precious gift of reading and offering your thoughts. I am also equally grateful.thank you again! I hope that your day is amazing.
Comment from royowen
It wasn't until God told me that emotions were a gift not a curse, that they served me, I don't serve them, thst I stopped being controlled by them, imagine Jesus emotions facing the cross, yet He still went through with it, knowing it was central to man's history, beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023
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It wasn't until God told me that emotions were a gift not a curse, that they served me, I don't serve them, thst I stopped being controlled by them, imagine Jesus emotions facing the cross, yet He still went through with it, knowing it was central to man's history, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 30-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023
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Thank you, Roy, it's kind of you to offer your encouraging and kind thoughts I appreciate your thoughtful words.
I thank you for reading along with me too. You are always inspiring to me. And you are kind and giving them for which I am grateful. Thank you for reading. I hope you have a great day.
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Yep, we don?t have to remain as victims but we can conquer, as you recognise in your life experience.