Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 37 "Part one, Chapter 12"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
84 total reviews
Comment from moyramouse
Barbara, I've just spent an enjoyable half hour catching up with the story from where I'd last got to. What a lot has happened since I last reviewed it. I must say how you held my interest completely. It was lovely having such a large chunk of your book to read at one go as so many of my questions were answered.
This post again had a ring of reality. I am not qualified to say whether or not this court scene was an accurate portrayal of what actually happens but it certainly worked for me. I loved the final part when you dropped in Troy's problem. You'd hinted at it in an earlier chapter when he cut his hand and didn't want Anna to touch it. Excellent work, Barbara - the tension is still right up there and Bobby remains a threat, albeit from his temporary imprisonment. His mother is a thoroughly nasty piece of work - you can see Bobby has inherited much from her!!!! His dad needs a bit of backbone, he seems to be bullied by his wife although he has shown flashes of knowledge about his son's true character. xxxxmouse
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2011
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Barbara, I've just spent an enjoyable half hour catching up with the story from where I'd last got to. What a lot has happened since I last reviewed it. I must say how you held my interest completely. It was lovely having such a large chunk of your book to read at one go as so many of my questions were answered.
This post again had a ring of reality. I am not qualified to say whether or not this court scene was an accurate portrayal of what actually happens but it certainly worked for me. I loved the final part when you dropped in Troy's problem. You'd hinted at it in an earlier chapter when he cut his hand and didn't want Anna to touch it. Excellent work, Barbara - the tension is still right up there and Bobby remains a threat, albeit from his temporary imprisonment. His mother is a thoroughly nasty piece of work - you can see Bobby has inherited much from her!!!! His dad needs a bit of backbone, he seems to be bullied by his wife although he has shown flashes of knowledge about his son's true character. xxxxmouse
Comment Written 24-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and encouraging words.
Comment from alexisleech
I was just going to write a review on this chapter, which I enjoyed very much but the authors notes have been so enlightening that I must congratulate her on her thorough and informative notes regarding Hepatitis B.
With regard to the chapter, I must also congratulate her. Courtroom scenes can either be tedious or believable, this is definitely the latter.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2011
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I was just going to write a review on this chapter, which I enjoyed very much but the authors notes have been so enlightening that I must congratulate her on her thorough and informative notes regarding Hepatitis B.
With regard to the chapter, I must also congratulate her. Courtroom scenes can either be tedious or believable, this is definitely the latter.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Barbara:)
Another excellent post. It is always amazing how lawyers who work the fringes of reality will attempt to divert interest away from ?pertinent facts by attacking the credibility of witnesses. I think perhaps the judge would put more restraint on Mr. Brown as he attacked Everett Page. His PI license alone would be evidence that he was qualified and past history would have little bearing on Anna's ability to keep Michael safe.
It would seem to me that the most pertinent fact would be the reputation of the Daycare school. If the school has a good record, the fact that an attempted abduction there would have little to do with the school.
Also the hiring of Everett Page to keep an eye on Michael would only be due dilgence on Anna's part. It should be aplus.
In the end this is a frivolous lawsuit, more for harassment of Anna than concern for Michael.
I think perhaps you could make Mr. Brown stay more in line. Perhaps when Mrs Podgers has her outburst, the judge might mention that he knew she had been removed from the divorce hearing and If she got out of line again, she would either be ousted from the courtroom or jailed for contempt.
in the end I expect this hearing to end in Anna's favor.
I'm not suggesting any major concerns with this pos. I am jst raising some issues for you to consider.
this writing works and builds sympathy for Anna and animosity toward Mrs. Rogers.
I am ready for the next scene.
Love and Irish hugs,
Roger
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2011
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Hi Barbara:)
Another excellent post. It is always amazing how lawyers who work the fringes of reality will attempt to divert interest away from ?pertinent facts by attacking the credibility of witnesses. I think perhaps the judge would put more restraint on Mr. Brown as he attacked Everett Page. His PI license alone would be evidence that he was qualified and past history would have little bearing on Anna's ability to keep Michael safe.
It would seem to me that the most pertinent fact would be the reputation of the Daycare school. If the school has a good record, the fact that an attempted abduction there would have little to do with the school.
Also the hiring of Everett Page to keep an eye on Michael would only be due dilgence on Anna's part. It should be aplus.
In the end this is a frivolous lawsuit, more for harassment of Anna than concern for Michael.
I think perhaps you could make Mr. Brown stay more in line. Perhaps when Mrs Podgers has her outburst, the judge might mention that he knew she had been removed from the divorce hearing and If she got out of line again, she would either be ousted from the courtroom or jailed for contempt.
in the end I expect this hearing to end in Anna's favor.
I'm not suggesting any major concerns with this pos. I am jst raising some issues for you to consider.
this writing works and builds sympathy for Anna and animosity toward Mrs. Rogers.
I am ready for the next scene.
Love and Irish hugs,
Roger
Comment Written 24-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and your continued support.
Comment from writer_13
Very interesting chapter. You keep the dialogue flowing well and create a vivid picture for the reader of the courtroom scene that is going on. I realize this is only a chapter and that there were previous ones but it still held my interest. I enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2011
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Very interesting chapter. You keep the dialogue flowing well and create a vivid picture for the reader of the courtroom scene that is going on. I realize this is only a chapter and that there were previous ones but it still held my interest. I enjoyed it.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Chris Tee
This is another excellent part we have here Barbara old sport.
Well done indeed with a splendid piece here ma'am.
That grandmother is really sick.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2011
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This is another excellent part we have here Barbara old sport.
Well done indeed with a splendid piece here ma'am.
That grandmother is really sick.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Tonulak
I'll confess, that i haven't read previous chapters, so I can only comment on this one.
I thought the writing in general was fine. However, I found the courtroom scene unrealistic. though, I'm not an attourney, I've had a few dealings in the Halls of Justice and most judges run a tighter ship interms of the outbursts and keep much tighter leashes on the lawyers. I'd have a lawyer friend look this over and give it a more courtly treatment. Other than that, you write and craft the story well. One spag: "fledging pie company...", should be "fledgling". Good luck with your project.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2011
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I'll confess, that i haven't read previous chapters, so I can only comment on this one.
I thought the writing in general was fine. However, I found the courtroom scene unrealistic. though, I'm not an attourney, I've had a few dealings in the Halls of Justice and most judges run a tighter ship interms of the outbursts and keep much tighter leashes on the lawyers. I'd have a lawyer friend look this over and give it a more courtly treatment. Other than that, you write and craft the story well. One spag: "fledging pie company...", should be "fledgling". Good luck with your project.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. I have a friend who writes on FS and she watches over my post to make sure I am accurate.
Comment from fionageorge
This is another interesting and well written chapter, with excellent use of dialogue. The court procedures sound realistic and the insinuations and inuendos are well done.
Only one little spag:
CHAPTER TWELEVE (TWELVE)
Thanks for sharing and warmest regards, Marijke :o)
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2011
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This is another interesting and well written chapter, with excellent use of dialogue. The court procedures sound realistic and the insinuations and inuendos are well done.
Only one little spag:
CHAPTER TWELEVE (TWELVE)
Thanks for sharing and warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment Written 24-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. I will correct the twelve.
Comment from The Stranger
excellent, I like how you attacked the court system with the first witness having to face being made a mockery of, so much truth is in there
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2011
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excellent, I like how you attacked the court system with the first witness having to face being made a mockery of, so much truth is in there
Comment Written 23-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
this is a well written chapter. I really appreciate all research you have done for this. It continues to be well-written as enjoyable as the topic allows. Great work!!! debbie
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2011
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this is a well written chapter. I really appreciate all research you have done for this. It continues to be well-written as enjoyable as the topic allows. Great work!!! debbie
Comment Written 23-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from womanwriter
Dear Barbara;
while I just dropped in, and have not read any of the preceding chapters I have to tell you that the action is very true to life (well at least as far as my limited knowledge is concerned.)LOL
Believable characters.
Good dialogue.
plausible action
Excellent character insight and emotional revelations.
very well presented.
I enjoyed this immensely.
Thanks for sharing.
womanwriter
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2011
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Dear Barbara;
while I just dropped in, and have not read any of the preceding chapters I have to tell you that the action is very true to life (well at least as far as my limited knowledge is concerned.)LOL
Believable characters.
Good dialogue.
plausible action
Excellent character insight and emotional revelations.
very well presented.
I enjoyed this immensely.
Thanks for sharing.
womanwriter
Comment Written 23-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
