Miss You
Thinking of a loved one, long since passed.14 total reviews
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, Rene
This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck with that.
You can enter anything into this contest, but this actual poem actually rhymes so I don't know whether that would be considered no rules, but probably anything could be entered
It's a good poem. I like the way you describe a lot of the things that missing might imply. It seems like they're all negative at least at the beginning. A lot of people think of missing as a positive thing you're missing someone because you love them.
The way you end the poem it seems like maybe the person has passed. And all you have left is memories. Or the person could still be alive and all you have is memories.
So the opening of the poem does not match the ending of the poem, which is OK. Its just an observation I'm making
What does this mean? Twoonie
I'll make the same suggestion to you that I've made to others that when you use a word or a tune that a lot of of us won't know that you put it in your notes so we don't have to go out to the Internet and find out if it's a real word and then what it means. I know that sounds like it Toonie. But you spell it differently for some reason maybe it doesn't mean the same thing. Most people won't even go out to the Internet they'll just read your poem and pretend they know what you're talking about
Some will go out to the Internet and never come back because they get distracted by other things
I enjoyed reading your poem
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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Hi, Rene
This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck with that.
You can enter anything into this contest, but this actual poem actually rhymes so I don't know whether that would be considered no rules, but probably anything could be entered
It's a good poem. I like the way you describe a lot of the things that missing might imply. It seems like they're all negative at least at the beginning. A lot of people think of missing as a positive thing you're missing someone because you love them.
The way you end the poem it seems like maybe the person has passed. And all you have left is memories. Or the person could still be alive and all you have is memories.
So the opening of the poem does not match the ending of the poem, which is OK. Its just an observation I'm making
What does this mean? Twoonie
I'll make the same suggestion to you that I've made to others that when you use a word or a tune that a lot of of us won't know that you put it in your notes so we don't have to go out to the Internet and find out if it's a real word and then what it means. I know that sounds like it Toonie. But you spell it differently for some reason maybe it doesn't mean the same thing. Most people won't even go out to the Internet they'll just read your poem and pretend they know what you're talking about
Some will go out to the Internet and never come back because they get distracted by other things
I enjoyed reading your poem
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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Thank you for the engaging response you've made for "Miss You." I'm happy that you enjoyed it. A Twoonie is a 2 dollar Canadian coin, I'm Canadian, we don't have dollar and 2 dollar bills haven't for decades now. I wouldn't have thought of this, it's ingrained in our Canadian culture. Thank you for pointing this out. The poem is deliberate in its format of ambiguity, I like when readers can interpret a poem with their own take. I considered no rules as exactly that, so I hope the rhyming schemes don't disqualify it. Again, thank you for your in-depth response, your constructive criticisms are always welcome and will help lead me to be a better writer.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
So true, Rene, in the end, our memories must suffice when our loved ones depart before us but it doesn't stop us from missing them. A lovely poem for the No Rules contest. Good luck.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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So true, Rene, in the end, our memories must suffice when our loved ones depart before us but it doesn't stop us from missing them. A lovely poem for the No Rules contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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Thank you for this wonderful review and star rating.
Comment from Brenda Strauser
I enjoyed the poem. It us well written and descriptive. Loved ones that have died will always be on our mind. Good luck in the contest.
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reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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I enjoyed the poem. It us well written and descriptive. Loved ones that have died will always be on our mind. Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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Thank you Brenda for this review and the high star rating.
Comment from bonespur
This seems like a good candidate for the contest. I can tell you from personal experience that in the end when it's all said and done the one thing we want the most is the one thing money can't buy. More time.
Good job and good luck. Have a blessed day
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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This seems like a good candidate for the contest. I can tell you from personal experience that in the end when it's all said and done the one thing we want the most is the one thing money can't buy. More time.
Good job and good luck. Have a blessed day
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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Excellent point, more time with a loved one would always be better in retrospect. Life can conspire to make this not happen. Thank you for this review and the high star rating.
