Goodbye
Reflecting on the day my eldest son went to college.3 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry
This is very sweet and somewhat comforting. My youngest shouted that at me once, not the same thing. I wrote you a note. Have a great new year. Write your kids at least once a month. :-) Karen
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2025
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This is very sweet and somewhat comforting. My youngest shouted that at me once, not the same thing. I wrote you a note. Have a great new year. Write your kids at least once a month. :-) Karen
Comment Written 15-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2025
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Thank you for the positive review. I looked at my posts and changed some font sizes
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With bigger font you will be read more. More readers will give you more ideas. Drip your faucets! Freezing weather is here. Karen
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Rene, I'm a 'read and ramble' kind of reviewer. I read and comment as I go. So, here goes ...
A nit picky thing: You write "that is what we now do" then follow it with "Now, reflecting back" - Using the same word so close together can be distracting. What if you got rid of the 2nd "now" and just said, "reflecting back"? You won't miss the word.
Although "lol" is often used in texting, I've never seen it in a poem before.
This is something we all come to grips with (or don't), and will resonate with readers. My daughter is getting married in April, and I'm feeling like she's somehow leaving us, even though she's 34 and left a long time ago. But that's what parents do, we raise them up so they can stand on their own.
I don't consider myself to be much of a poet, so I won't comment on your "free form" style. I do, however, believe this would work in a short essay. In fact, I think it could be more powerful if you got into some of the things you did together and will miss when he is gone.
Thank you for sharing your work, and I wish you a wonderful week of writing!
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2025
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Rene, I'm a 'read and ramble' kind of reviewer. I read and comment as I go. So, here goes ...
A nit picky thing: You write "that is what we now do" then follow it with "Now, reflecting back" - Using the same word so close together can be distracting. What if you got rid of the 2nd "now" and just said, "reflecting back"? You won't miss the word.
Although "lol" is often used in texting, I've never seen it in a poem before.
This is something we all come to grips with (or don't), and will resonate with readers. My daughter is getting married in April, and I'm feeling like she's somehow leaving us, even though she's 34 and left a long time ago. But that's what parents do, we raise them up so they can stand on their own.
I don't consider myself to be much of a poet, so I won't comment on your "free form" style. I do, however, believe this would work in a short essay. In fact, I think it could be more powerful if you got into some of the things you did together and will miss when he is gone.
Thank you for sharing your work, and I wish you a wonderful week of writing!
xo
Pam
Comment Written 15-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2025
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Hi Pam. Thank you for the positive review and constructive criticisms. I try to avoid repetition when writing, so thanks for seeing the use of "now" so close together. Oddly enough a word I overuse is just. My editor for my published works has pointed this out to me. It's a word that is seldom needed. The lol's were written directly in the comment I made to my son and I used the passage directly in the "not poem" portion of the piece. That's an intriguing thought about making this a larger work based on time spent with my son, great idea. I may find time to expand upon this someday.
Thanks again
Rene
Comment from DonandVicki
Your poem brought back memories of when my daughters went off to college. I had to hide the heartbreak so that my daughters wouldn't fall apart. My daughters have said the same thing to me.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2025
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Your poem brought back memories of when my daughters went off to college. I had to hide the heartbreak so that my daughters wouldn't fall apart. My daughters have said the same thing to me.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2025
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Thank you for the 5 star rating and positive review. I think this has a universal appeal and can reflect how many of us feel. Now my son is living back with us and I'm enjoying his company immensely because he may be gone again soon. Take care.
