Willing Hearts
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Chapter 11 B"Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?
31 total reviews
Comment from tfawcus
You've managed to infuse this chapter of rapid-fire dialogue with great emotional intensity at times. As the relationship between these two develops, there is always an undertone of tension. Good writing. Enjoyed,
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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You've managed to infuse this chapter of rapid-fire dialogue with great emotional intensity at times. As the relationship between these two develops, there is always an undertone of tension. Good writing. Enjoyed,
Comment Written 12-May-2024
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from BethShelby
Noah seems very concerned about Sami but just as concerned about no letting things get out of hands and their friendship go father than it should. He had feeling that he is very carefully keeping in wraps.
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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Noah seems very concerned about Sami but just as concerned about no letting things get out of hands and their friendship go father than it should. He had feeling that he is very carefully keeping in wraps.
Comment Written 12-May-2024
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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Noah is very careful. We'll get a glimpse into his thinking soon. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lancellot
Good editing. I know it's your style and your formula, but I would be remise if I didn't suggest counting the number of times you say "Sorry" in a single chapter.
notes:
Ryan's eyes widened. "You can't do this."
- Actually, he can't. You are stretching fiction. Yes, I know, you do that. Just saying.
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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Good editing. I know it's your style and your formula, but I would be remise if I didn't suggest counting the number of times you say "Sorry" in a single chapter.
notes:
Ryan's eyes widened. "You can't do this."
- Actually, he can't. You are stretching fiction. Yes, I know, you do that. Just saying.
Comment Written 12-May-2024
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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Will check my sorry's. Thank you for the kind review.
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I went back to my original manuscript and checked my 'sorry's. I do have a habit of overusing certain words. I did a search and find for 'sorry'. In 89,688 total words in my manuscript, I used 'sorry' 123 times. I think I'm good. We'll see what my editor says.
Comment from jim vecchio
As your story goes on, it gets better and better. That was an interesting revelation about Sami and Mar. Now you have me wondering if it's just a recollection or if Marc will play a role in future instillments. Very well done!
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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As your story goes on, it gets better and better. That was an interesting revelation about Sami and Mar. Now you have me wondering if it's just a recollection or if Marc will play a role in future instillments. Very well done!
Comment Written 12-May-2024
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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Marc does show up again, but Sami puts him in his place. Thank you for the kind review.
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I wish I could put my college girlfriend in her place!
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LOL Sami has a talent for that.
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I'm just a little softy. I find it very hard to say negative stuff to anyone.
Comment from judiverse
Wonderful chapter. I was thinking Sami was going to revert to being overly sensitive and needy, but she's being more sensible by the end. It's hard to imagine what being in protective custody would be like. I think you're doing a good job presenting. Ryan is a jerk. I wonder if he really has a wife. If the agents investigate, they'll find out. Sami knows there are boundaries with Noah. She also shows some sense of humor. With the mention of Marc, I'm wondering if he's going to show up later to cause trouble. Consider using a comma in this: First base and we lost. Comma after base because it's a change of thought. judi
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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Wonderful chapter. I was thinking Sami was going to revert to being overly sensitive and needy, but she's being more sensible by the end. It's hard to imagine what being in protective custody would be like. I think you're doing a good job presenting. Ryan is a jerk. I wonder if he really has a wife. If the agents investigate, they'll find out. Sami knows there are boundaries with Noah. She also shows some sense of humor. With the mention of Marc, I'm wondering if he's going to show up later to cause trouble. Consider using a comma in this: First base and we lost. Comma after base because it's a change of thought. judi
Comment Written 12-May-2024
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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You're right about the comma. I've fixed it. We will see Marc again, but only for a little bit. Sami puts him in his place. Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome. I'd never thought much about people in protective custody, so this is very interesting. Keep us posted on your Meet the Writer date. judi
Comment from eliz100
This is another excellent chapter. You are moving the story along nicely, and Sami and Noah's relationship is growing. I do not see any room for improving. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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This is another excellent chapter. You are moving the story along nicely, and Sami and Noah's relationship is growing. I do not see any room for improving. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 12-May-2024
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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Thank you for the kind review. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!
Comment from GWHARGIS
This was a very good chapter. All the characters got a chance to make a contribution to moving the story along. I like the scenes where Noah and Sami walk with Jasper. They relax when not under the microscope of others being around. I like Sarah's character, she is like a confident to Sami and sister to Noah. Very enjoyable. Gretchen
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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This was a very good chapter. All the characters got a chance to make a contribution to moving the story along. I like the scenes where Noah and Sami walk with Jasper. They relax when not under the microscope of others being around. I like Sarah's character, she is like a confident to Sami and sister to Noah. Very enjoyable. Gretchen
Comment Written 12-May-2024
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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Thank you for the kind review. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!
Comment from Paul McFarland
Nice chapter, Barb. You have thrown in another character, Marc. You probably have plans for him. Even if you don't, the reader will use their imagination to create some intrigue.
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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Nice chapter, Barb. You have thrown in another character, Marc. You probably have plans for him. Even if you don't, the reader will use their imagination to create some intrigue.
Comment Written 12-May-2024
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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Marc has pretty much served his purpose. He's gotten Sami and Noah to talk. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
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I forgot for a moment. We will see Marc again briefly, but Sami puts him in his place.
Comment from Ben Colder
I think I have too much of the other story in my mind to appreciate this nice write. I am plagued with memories of something along these lines on American Most wanted. I can see Noah doing his thing. Good one Barb.
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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I think I have too much of the other story in my mind to appreciate this nice write. I am plagued with memories of something along these lines on American Most wanted. I can see Noah doing his thing. Good one Barb.
Comment Written 12-May-2024
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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Thank you for the kind review. Noah does do his thing, but he's softening..
Comment from Ric Myworld
We never have to wonder long with you, there will always be some romance brought into the mix, no matter what the story is. LOL. I guess that's why you're called a romance writer. :-) Thanks for sharing.
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reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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We never have to wonder long with you, there will always be some romance brought into the mix, no matter what the story is. LOL. I guess that's why you're called a romance writer. :-) Thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-May-2024
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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Thank you for the kind review. So true, I can see romance in every situation.