Merry Christmas to All

by Terry Broxson

Merry Christmas to all my friends and relatives, wherever you may be!

Are y'all surprised to hear from me? Well, I'm just as surprised to write my first Christmas newsletter.

I am pleased to report I have sailed through most of my seventy-sixth year. This makes me the longest-living male Broxson in family-recorded history. Apparently, my genes came from the females in the family and possibly my jeans. There were a lot of hand-me-downs in those early days.

I do understand that certain things must be covered in a Christmas Newsletter. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I will not report on children, grand children, great-children, dogs, cats, or turtles. But my one house plant is still alive after a year and a half.

Now for the health report, I am an old man who is fifteen pounds too fat. Okay, maybe twenty-two. This year after a thorough medical evaluation, it was determined I am clinically bald—on top.

I asked, "Dr. Wellborn, is there anything that can be done?"

He replied, "Going back thirty-five years or so would help."

I did check with my Medicare supplement, and going back isn't covered.

My longevity, in part, is thanks to the twenty-one pills I take daily. That is 7,655 for the year, not counting a few miscellaneous, so let's call it 8,000 for a round number (this is nonfiction).

This year I also have had two covid booster shots (for a total of five), one flu shot, and seven hundred seventy-five shots of Gentleman Jack Daniels. In truth, I lost count of the Gentleman Jack last March; it's just a rough estimate, like my tax return.

Dr. Wellborn's nurse said I could be charming, but not on purpose.

Of course, no prevention effort stopped me from getting Covid the Saturday before Thanksgiving. The cough was the worst. A loud, bone-rattling, muscle-pounding, voice-killing, sleep-depriving pariah. This pariah left me weak and battered from the kneecap to my Adam's apple.

The political report; this was a mid-term election year. So, to irritate the Republicans, who think every time they lose an election, it must be crooked, I voted by mail. I also voted against the Republicans in Texas. Oh, please, not because I liked the Democrats any better. I thought after twenty-five years; it was time for a change.

And speaking of change, I did a write-in vote for Jesse Hernandez for Governor. He changes my oil and does it in ten minutes, with no issues and a reasonable price. That is the kind of leadership we need in the Texas State Capitol.

This being Texas, all the guys and ladies I voted for lost. The results were a shame because if the Democrats had won, I could vote for the Republicans in two years. I am an equally independent anti-establishment voter.

The social report; this has been a hectic year. I had one birthday lunch with four guests. In addition, I had five lunches with someone else in attendance and two dinners with Larry and Mary ( Zoe's nephew and his wife). We watched two Linda Ronstadt documentaries which were outstanding.

The social reports also include nine medical visits. You may wonder why this is not in the health report. It is pretty simple. Dr._____(fill in the blank) says, "I see you are still here, Mr. Broxson."

"Yes, sir."

"Any issues?"

"No, sir."

"Excellent! See you next year, be sure to give the co-pay to the front desk."

I also had twenty-one pharmacy visits. I did have a debate with myself if a drive-through pharmacy visit counted as a social encounter. Ultimately I decided it was "out and about" and did include a conversation at the drive-through window. I consider the personal information exchange different than pizza delivery, which is not a social visit.

I also had a lot of fun with a lady I met on FanStory. (more about FS in a bit). Her name is Ann. Ann counted for three of the private lunches. She is an excellent writer. We talk several times a week; she is very funny. She accuses me of having a harem. That is an old word used way back in the old testament days. Knowing my social life as I do, she clearly misunderstands the word's meaning.

The bragging report is an essential part of Christmas newsletters, but this report is a little light this year. Honestly, I can't think of a dang thing I did well this year. Although I did remove most of the wax from the wood floors, I screwed up last year.

The miscellaneous report; will include my efforts on FanStory. FS, as the locals refer to it, is a writer's forum where poets, short story writers, novelists, scriptwriters, and nonfiction writers present their written words to like-minded people for review and exchange of ideas about writing.

For some, FS is a hobby and an ego boost or deflator, as the case may be. Others are in pursuit of a serious writing career. There are some outstanding writers in this group.

I have no vision of a writing career. I do not want, need, nor will I accept another job. My objective is to have some fun, and I have. I have met some wonderful people.

Occasionally, I enter a contest because I like the challenge. Now and then, I will place. I rarely win. One thing I have learned. There is always a better writer than me. Even losing, I always feel I am in some good company. And it's still fun.

My highlight of FS this year is learning to write fiction. I have never done any before. I learned to do it serendipitously. It's my opinion a fellow who uses the pen name Humpwhistle is the best prose writer on the site. His fiction and nonfiction are exceptional.

I had a chance to interview him this past year. He shared in the interview the way he approaches fiction. What he said "clicked" with me.

Humpwhistle is a brilliant fellow. He lives in the Northeastern part of the United States. Some fanstorians think his name is Lee Hill. He said his name is Harper Lee. Nobody believed him because he writes fiction.

He signs his reviews, "Peace Lee." One person thinks he is a wandering hippie leftover from Woodstock. Others believe he may belong to a Native American Tribe like the Iroquois.

I thank Mr. Humpwhistle for teaching me how to write fiction. I am not in his class, but I have had a lot of fun.

I thank others who have patiently and gently guided me about grammar, punctuation, and presentation. Thank you to Barbara, Shari, Helen, Wendy, Mike, Tom, Gary, Pam, Jay, Douglas, Rachelle, Thomas, Debi, Jan, Anne, Carol, Karenina, Sol, Sally, and Sandra. Please forgive me for forgetting others. Your approach is much more appreciated than those with the furious red pencil (the dreaded FRP).

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL. THIS SHOT OF EGGNOG IS FOR YOU!

CHEERS.

TERRY