| Mature Fiction posted March 5, 2025 |
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Erotic News
Blues and More
by Lobber
The author has placed a warning on this post for language.The author has placed a warning on this post for sexual content.
Tina's first email was certainly direct: Hey Benjy, Why don't you drop your drawers and let me slurp on that hot rod of yours.
Tina's suggestion resulted in a pulsating hardon by Benjy and a rapid email response: Any pics of you in action? Would love to feed you my morning and midnight cock. - Benjamin
Instead of a pic or two, Benjamin received a NEWS ALERT!
NEWS ALERT - Feb. 4, 2009
Her name is Tiger. She was born in a lions den. Although she's a tiger, she was raised in a lions den.
Her nightly occupation - Stealing other tigers' men. She' a very evil woman. But, she wants to do a man some good.
Don't say: 'mio splendore, mia donna rara e bella.' She can't read Italian and she ain't no red riding hood.
She'll ask: "If you don't like my mangoes, baby, why do you shake my tree? Hey, Dude, get out of my orchid, then I won't ya ya doo doo.
So don't you ooh skoodla doo skoodli dee and I won't ya ya doo doo!
Some men like me, 'cause I'm happy, while some think I'm snappy.
Some call me honey, and some think I've got money.
But, Grey Brown told me that I was built for speeds.
You put them all together - I'm everything a good man needs."
Benjamin had to reread Tina's NEWS ALERT to believe it. The content was so different than her previous email. As a musicologist, Benjamin was surprised to find the lyrics of Blossom Dearie's Blossom's Blues being used as a parody. Benjamin found Tina’s response to be both obscure and erudite. As a sexual tease, it only bordered on being strangely erotic.
Here are the actual lyrics of Blossom's Blues:
My name is Blossom
I was raised in a lions den
My name is Blossom
I was raised in a lions den
My nightly occupation
Stealing other womens men
I'm an evil evil woman
But I want to do a man some good
I'm an evil evil woman
But I want to do a man some good
I'm Gina Lola Bridgietta
I ain't red riding hood
If you don't like my peaches, baby, why do you shake my tree?
If you don't like my peaches, baby, why do you shake my tree?
Get out of my orchid, baby
Let my peach tree be
Now don't you ooh skoodla doo skoodli dee
And I won't ya ya doo doo
If you don't ooh skookdla doo
Then I won't ya ya doo doo
So don't you ooh skoodla doo skoodli dee
And I won't ya ya doo doo
Some men like me cause I'm happy
Some think I'm snappy
Some call me honey
And some think I've got . . .
But Grey Brown told me that I was built for speed
You put them all together
Everything a good man needs
You put them all together
Everything a good man needs
Regardless, on February 6 Benjamin sent off the following, quick, non-sexual email: Is Blossom Dearie a friend of yours? - Benjamin
Benjamin waited a few days, there was no response.
A few days later Benjamin received a call from the police. The following are details based on the New York City Police Department's files combined with my research.
As a musicologist, Benjamin Schwalm was right to link Tina with the NEWS ALERT’s parody. However, there was no Tina. In fact, Tina was Blossom Dearie, an international jazz artist whose full name was Margrethe Blossom Dearie.
According to the files, Ms. Deairie died in her sleep on February 7, 2009. Being of fragile health, she peacefully died at her Greenwich Village apartment at 84 years of age.
According to Benjamin Schwalm. they never met. In fact, Ms. Dearie never had a chance to open Benjamin’s last inquisitive email.
- Lobber
Erotic Writing Contest contest entry
Many of Ms. Dearies' albums are available on YouTube. She's well worth a listen.
- Lobber
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. - Lobber
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