Reviews from

Sharon And The Wheelie Bin

(957 words) A meeting in strange circumstances.

21 total reviews 
Comment from Cindy Decker
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Lisa,
A very nice and humorous story!! From now on your protagonist must be careful her kindly neighbors don't recognize her. That wouldn't be possible in our town, as everybody pretty much know one another. Excellent story.
Good luck in all your contests.

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2020

Comment from Lucy de Welles
Excellent
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Absolutely love this story of a depressed, newly single woman, who is drowning herself in pizza, wine and ice cream, overwhelmed by even the simplest of tasks, allowing a misunderstanding to provide comfort and companionship from strangers in her hour of need. An unexpected show of love at just the right time. Help was right there to pick her up and move her forward. She could sort the details in the morning.
We should all learn to go with the flow in life in every circumstance.
Wonderful. Wish I had six stars for this one!
Lucy

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2020

Comment from damommy
Excellent
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Sharon is going through some heavy feelings that need to be resolved. I'm guessing these new neighbors mean well in inviting her in, but I'm wondering if something sinister isn't going to come into play. Hmmmm.

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2020


reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
    Thanks for your review. Oh what a suspicious mind you have! But thanks for suggesting a darker side... i'll keep that in mind if i do a sequel.
Comment from poetwatch
Excellent
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For a while I thought this write was a biographical essay, LisaMay. :) Why with all the time in the world to lay around doing nothing but eat pizza, chocolate and all the do not eat foods and get fat. You were describing almost all the people but then we would let the trash stand one more week. :) Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2020


reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
    Sssshhh! Don't tell! Parts of the story resemble my life rather too closely. Thanks for your review.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Excellent
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Oh...my...goodness. This reminds me of a scene I watched from the TV show "Columbo" where a kind Catholic nun mistakes Columbo in his wrinkled trench coat and un-ironed shirt for a homeless man. I like this line: "Good riddance! Now there's more space for frivolous fun food!" And I am wondering where I can get a family-sized block of chocolate, hazelnut or otherwise. This lady character decides she isn't ready to be 100% independent, just 100% comfortable.

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2020


reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
    Gosh, that's a memory from a while ago - I remember watching Colombo in Australia years ago... he did look somewhat run down.
    Your last sentence sums up my story well. Thanks for reviewing.
reply by CrystieCookie999 on 18-Sep-2020
    Mom and I watch Columbo reruns about once a week or so, so it was this week.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
    That's a nice thing to do together.
Comment from Father Flaps
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Lisa,
This story has me chuckling this morning. You described Sharon so well, she put me in mind of Goldie Hawn's character in the 1992 comedy, "Death Becomes Her".
I love this... "her moth-eaten slippers that she had resurrected from disgrace at the bottom of her walk-in wardrobe?"
and this,
"Feeling completely relaxed - loose as a noodle"
and this,
"a thought swam into her sozzled consciousness"
and this,
"You dirty bastard! I hate you! Look... I'm bleeding! Are you satisfied?"
and this,
"The smaller angel stepped forward into the light, hesitating momentarily as Sharon's booze-breath hit her."

"This necessitated man-handling the loaded bin down to the street at the bottom of the hill and leaving it at the kerb" ...(kerb? I thought it was spelled "curb"... looked it up, British curb... and likely Australian, too).
Now the ending? I'm not sure... you kind of leave it up to the reader. The old couple who rescued Sharon... were they new angels in Heaven, and Sharon had just succumbed to a fatal heart attack while fighting with a garbage bin in a rainstorm? They were new themselves, because they were still unpacking, "One night. Okay?" he grumbled, softening. "Here. Have a home-baked chocolate chip cookie. I made them this afternoon, after we'd finished unpacking." ... (actually, that's strange. The husband made the chocolate chip cookies? That's what it sounds like.)
or,
perhaps Sharon was just plain drunk, and hallucinating. She thought she was seeing angels, but it was just a senior couple with their porch light on. But they were rescuing her, and she liked that. She felt like she needed to be rescued, and these new neighbors were lavishing her with exactly what she needed since her recent divorce. She needed someone to look after her.
Anyway, this is a terrific story. Nicely penned!
Hugs,
Kimbob




 Comment Written 18-Sep-2020


reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
    Thanks for your review. I'm glad my story entertained you. (In NZ we call it kerbside collection; or getting kicked to the kerb. We'd spell it 'curb' when curbing our enthusiasm.)
    Yes, the man had made the cookies - I was making a subtle point that not all men are useless, like Sharon's ex.
    She hadn't died and gone to heaven, although it probably felt like it to be getting some kind attention, even though she was embarrassed, but maybe she was too drunk to care. The reader can choose their own scenario. I left enough space in it for readers' imaginations to come up with something... just as you have done.
Comment from trimple
Excellent
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Good morning, Lisa

Loose as a noodle-- Wonderful description

Moth-eaten slippers-- :)

A very convincing snippet of an angry, drunken woman's evening that had me glues from the title of the piece.

Sharon and the wheelie-bin.-- who wouldn't want to at least give it an intial gander after reading that!

I wonder how she's going to keep relations going with the new neighbours come morning...

Maybe you could keep this going, Lisa.

Most enjoyable read.

kind regards

tracey

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2020


reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
    Thanks for your review - i'm pleased you found it entertaining. Yes, the morning will be interesting when she has to come clean about herself to the new neighbours, unless she slinks off into the night and hopes never to see them again out of mortifying embarrassment once she sobers up.
reply by trimple on 18-Sep-2020
    lol Indeed!

    You should carry this on, Lisa. It has all the traits of a great sit-com.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
    Being basically lazy, I certainly prefer the idea of a sit-com rather than stand up com.
reply by trimple on 18-Sep-2020
    lol! U clever uuuuuu :)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You captured my heart at the beginning here Lisa with all that wonderful indulgence. Then the drowning sorrows and the chores that beckon are tasks that were at least performed by someone else, rear like demons from the pit of hell. What happened? Did she go to heaven in her drunken stupor? I wonder? I feel like I am she just now, much enjoyed, love Dolly x

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 Comment Written 18-Sep-2020


reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
    Here's to us domestic goddesses having to put our own garbage out.
    I think Sharon just mistook the new neighbours for angels, or maybe she had a heart attack from her over indulgence... maybe i won't kill her off as a sequel could be interesting with her future relationship with the new neighbours.
Comment from Pantygynt
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

And a passing reference to the Flintstones as well. This was a smash-hit with me but perhaps Sharon should rise early and forego breakfast, as the new neighbours might turn out to be less friendly when they know the truth.

As a lone-liver myself I found your first paragraph had me identifying with Sharon even if the gender was wrong. I actually live nearly three quarters of a mile over a dirt road to get to the trash pick-up point every week. So I have to load the car up with the stuff - orange sack for cardboard, blue sack for plastic, white sack for paper, black box for glass, brown box for food waste (that lot goes every week and is recycled). The blue poly-bag goes every other week and is for land-fill trash. Wheelie bin, Sharon? You don't know you're born!

Super story though. Loved it.

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2020


reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
    That's a nice starry review, thank you. I raise a glass of Shiraz in gratitude. (Please don't tell anyone who Sharon is modelled on, wink wink.)
    I think you are right about Sharon - she should buzz off in the night and hide out for a while, hoping they might forget what she looks like... then she can make friends when she is sober.
    I sympathise with your garbage exercise, although it sounds like you make a lot of rubbish for a solo-liver.
Comment from Mrs. KT
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Good Morning, Lisa!
GAWD!
You had me at "wheelie bin!"
What a delightful romp this morning at the expense of poor "Sharon!"
I loved every morsel from the choice of eating and drinking delights, to the turn of phrases that are unfamiliar to me, to the ending! Oh! What will the neighbors think when they discover the "real" Sharon?
Thank you for my smile for the day!
AND today, I must take out our "wheelie bin!" It's "Garbage Day!'

Take Care!
diane

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2020


reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
    Thanks for honoring my story with a 6! Sharon did not cover herself in glory at this meet-the-neighbours opportunity. Let's hope all will be forgiven when they find out - it's probably worth a sequel.
    Happy Garbage Day!