Comment from lindafisher

Exceptional

This is fabulous. It flows along beautifully, the srory is compelling. I couldn't resist reading it over again. You cheer me up no end. This is real humour. X

 Comment Written 27-Dec-2021

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reply by the author on 27-Dec-2021

Well that one missed the cut for the book!

Thanks heaps.

Steve

Comment from dragonpoet

Excellent

Steve, This sounds like no one cared, and some were even happy about, the death of this man. Wow, 22 kids. When did he have time to do his job?
I like the alliteration with the names and used of names of detectives
for literature, TV and movies.
Congrats on placing third in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2020

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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2020

Thanks, Joan. I had a lot of fun writing this and inventing names and alibis for all those eleven young men and eleven young ladies - who may or may not have been innocent!

Steve

reply by dragonpoet on 01-Sep-2020

You are most kindly welcome, Steve.
None of them sounded innocent to me.
Joan

Comment from AlmostaJRK

Excellent

Definitely a better submission than the first and second place entries. This poem has a good flow. I like it, this poem would be my first place choice for this contest.

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2020

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020

Hi and welcome to FanStory - hope you like it here.

Thanks for the flattering review. I always think my poems have a good chance of winning, but poetry is a subjective thing. In this case, the winning poem is also an excellent and very clever piece, by one of our very best poets. I don't mind losing to an entry as good as this.

Have a good day.

Steve

Comment from Elizabeth Emerald

Excellent

Congrats on your prize for this tour de force of wit and whimsy--delightful--glad I caught up--so many clever fictional detective references! Cheers. LIZ

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2020

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reply by the author on 28-Aug-2020

Thanks, Liz. Glad you enjoyed this bit of froth and bubble.

Steve

Comment from Jg

Excellent

It's like I'm reading a novel and a poem at the same time . It tells a story , well crafted ... the objective of poetry clearly seen. I love this piece of literature. Excellent work

 Comment Written 26-Aug-2020

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reply by the author on 26-Aug-2020

Hi, and welcome to FanStory. Hope you like it here.

Thanks for stopping by to read and review this piece of fun!

Steve

reply by Jg on 26-Aug-2020

Thank you very much for the welcome . Yes I?m enjoying the well read work. You very welcome and keep up the good work writing .

Comment from jenintorre

Exceptional

Wow. I love this story in a poem. Such great content rhyme and rhythm This is my kind of poem. It should certainly do well in the competition. Good luck. Jen.

 Comment Written 25-Aug-2020

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reply by the author on 26-Aug-2020

Thanks so much for the kind words and the six shiny stars - much appreciated. I'm glad you enjoyed my poem. It was great fun to write.

Steve

Comment from Ayan3

Excellent

That was an amazing poem and I hope you can write more stories and I also could not stop reading it and I hope you get the recognition you need for this poem.

Sincerely, Ayan

 Comment Written 25-Aug-2020

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reply by the author on 26-Aug-2020

Ayan, thank you for the kind words. I am glad you enjoyed this little frolic.

Steve

Comment from royowen

Excellent

The gratifying thing is we know all those detective names as you rendered them very well indeed. You've worked the rhymes and near rhymes very wel, and chose a most apt narrative to display your considerable ability in doing so. I enjoyed the bawdy humour, a cleverly woven story in a poem, well done, Blessings Roy

 Comment Written 25-Aug-2020

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reply by the author on 26-Aug-2020

Thanks, Roy. I did have fun with this, even though I couldn't figure out a way to hint at who might have been the murderer!

Steve

reply by royowen on 26-Aug-2020

How about Poirot

reply by the author on 26-Aug-2020

Can't trust a Belgian with a moustache like that!

Comment from lightink

Excellent

Hey, Steve...I recognize this voice of yours! It's nice to read something like this from you again!
The mix of dark humor - and just plain character jokes gives us a delightful result: So many scandalous and absurd little details!
"deep in a haystack, all naked and dangerous,"''in search of some flowers.'"
Fun detective story references!
The ample use of alliterations make it sound even more light-hearted, and I don't trust any single one of them :).

Thank you for this playful poem!

 Comment Written 25-Aug-2020

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reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020

Thanks, Jyoti. Maybe this is more my poetic calling than deep and insightful? In any case, it was fun to write. You are right; I wouldn't trust any of this bunch as far as I could throw them!

Steve

reply by lightink on 25-Aug-2020

I think you are pretty good with both! But I am delighted that you are a bit playful again :).

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Lots of fun with your dactyl meter and so many mystery-writing and TV All Stars have been called out to help. It seems that all those alliteratively named relations have had a hand in Athenree's death. Best wishes in the contest!

 Comment Written 25-Aug-2020

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reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020

Thanks, Helen. This was a fun piece to write, but I'm sorry, I don't know who the real murderer is!

Steve