Heart Cafted Poems - 2020
Viewing comments for Chapter 39 "Passing through your life"Musings of an old man -2020
29 total reviews
Comment from mermaids
There is a feeling of sadness sin your words as a relationship ends. I like the repeating lines "My soul is bruised and just passing through". They impact your poem with strong feelings.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2020
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There is a feeling of sadness sin your words as a relationship ends. I like the repeating lines "My soul is bruised and just passing through". They impact your poem with strong feelings.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2020
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thank you for your time invested in reading and commenting on my poem.
Comment from Patty Palmer
So true, when things go awry in a relationship, sometimes you wonder why. But if you think deeply, you'll find you probably know. I agree that when you find yourself on the bad end of a relationship too many times, it might be smart to remain single! Good luck with your contest.
Patty
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2020
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So true, when things go awry in a relationship, sometimes you wonder why. But if you think deeply, you'll find you probably know. I agree that when you find yourself on the bad end of a relationship too many times, it might be smart to remain single! Good luck with your contest.
Patty
Comment Written 20-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2020
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Patty, sometimes we just have to grow a little.
Comment from Margaret Bednar
As always, my hat is off to anyone who attempts such a structured poem. To be able to pull it off and have it make sense is a winner to me! A nice double rondeau.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2020
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As always, my hat is off to anyone who attempts such a structured poem. To be able to pull it off and have it make sense is a winner to me! A nice double rondeau.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2020
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Margaret, I appreciate your validation on this poem.
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Very sad but elicits great sympathy; sorrow for a relationship that fell by the wayside, apparently due to the other party's unwillingness to give. It's the story of how one person attempts to make peace with the separation, rather than living in a painfully compromised relationship. If it's a true story reflected here, I am sorry for your pain; if you've attempted to get inside someone's perspective, you've done a fantastic job.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2020
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Very sad but elicits great sympathy; sorrow for a relationship that fell by the wayside, apparently due to the other party's unwillingness to give. It's the story of how one person attempts to make peace with the separation, rather than living in a painfully compromised relationship. If it's a true story reflected here, I am sorry for your pain; if you've attempted to get inside someone's perspective, you've done a fantastic job.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2020
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Mary Kay, fortunately all fiction narrative! Whew...
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Glad to hear it, JLR :-)
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear JLR, I have got to trust you on this one, ( for my eyes are getting blurry ) for the following the rules of this
Double Rondeau. As for the message that it brings, I am glad that it is only fiction, for the taste that it leaves behind is bitter.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2020
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Dear JLR, I have got to trust you on this one, ( for my eyes are getting blurry ) for the following the rules of this
Double Rondeau. As for the message that it brings, I am glad that it is only fiction, for the taste that it leaves behind is bitter.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2020
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Suzanna, thanks!
Comment from RShipp
Wow! I could feel the intensity of the shattered dreams of a relationship gone wrong.
I hope 'he' remembers how worthy he was and that often others can be very selfish. When we first meet them, we don't realize thier twistedness.
Thanks for carefully describing what a Double Rondeau was. I had no idea.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2020
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Wow! I could feel the intensity of the shattered dreams of a relationship gone wrong.
I hope 'he' remembers how worthy he was and that often others can be very selfish. When we first meet them, we don't realize thier twistedness.
Thanks for carefully describing what a Double Rondeau was. I had no idea.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2020
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thank you for your time taken to review and comment on my poem.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written double Rondeau about love and life that can be disappointing at times and we may wonder if it will not be better to walk solo without someone who bruise our soul every day.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2020
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A very well-written double Rondeau about love and life that can be disappointing at times and we may wonder if it will not be better to walk solo without someone who bruise our soul every day.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2020
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Sandra thank you
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Sandra thank you
Comment from Pantygynt
I never understood the need for this form as it seems to be merely a 'more of the same' type of form. the 'rondeau redoublé' on the other hand is a whole new box of tricks. Still, none of that is your fault. Metre is not really an issue as the originals, in the French language, did not employ metre as writers in English understand it. So although excellent metrical versions in the English language exist there are those who argue that non-metrical versions are closer to the original.
While I am here, I must ask what happened to you last week. You were missed and I got quite worried that you might have fallen victim to the dreaded Covid-19
I liked the differencing you introduced between the the two, particularly the use of feminine endings in the first.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2020
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I never understood the need for this form as it seems to be merely a 'more of the same' type of form. the 'rondeau redoublé' on the other hand is a whole new box of tricks. Still, none of that is your fault. Metre is not really an issue as the originals, in the French language, did not employ metre as writers in English understand it. So although excellent metrical versions in the English language exist there are those who argue that non-metrical versions are closer to the original.
While I am here, I must ask what happened to you last week. You were missed and I got quite worried that you might have fallen victim to the dreaded Covid-19
I liked the differencing you introduced between the the two, particularly the use of feminine endings in the first.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2020
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My dear friend, thank you for reaching out. Fortunately, no I am still staying away, this far, from Covid... however, my sister-in-law who lives across town from us had a heart event and we were at the hospital. We are her medical power of attorney, as it turned out she was found with a bad heart valve which has now been repaired.
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I am so pleased the emergency has been sorted. I hope you will still find yourself able to sign up for the October, metre class.
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I plan on it and so value you for your instruction and wisdom!
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I am looking forward to hearing you have taken the plunge.
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Passing through your life", is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. Penned with craft and skill, it was a pleasure to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2020
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"Passing through your life", is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. Penned with craft and skill, it was a pleasure to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2020
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Duchess, thank you very much.
JLR,
as always, you're very welcome.
God bless and stay safe!
the Duchess
Comment from Vanna1
Sad poem. I could feel the loss and sorrow. The words worked well with your tone. Good presentation, the image fit so well with your words as well. Happy writing!
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2020
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Sad poem. I could feel the loss and sorrow. The words worked well with your tone. Good presentation, the image fit so well with your words as well. Happy writing!
Comment Written 18-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2020
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Vanna, fortunately for me, this is a fictional writing. thanks for your wonderful review and comments.
