Reviews from

Collection of Writer's Tips #1

Chapter One ~ The Eyes

35 total reviews 
Comment from RShipp
Excellent
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A professional writer is an amateur who didn't quit." ~ Richard Bach (I like your quote. It's one of my favorites as well.)

You are right. The personal description can really bring a character to life and sit them right in the armchair of your living room- which is great, unless that character is a serial killer. hahaha.

Enjoyed.

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
    The strongest thing about me is my never quit or give up attitude about writing. I write every day without fail while my genetic blindness eats my retinas. I have everything to gain and nothing to lose. Sending you my best today as always,
    Sal XOs...
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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I do agree that there needs to be a certain amount of descriptions but I am not one who likes to read books that have a lot of description. Example I am NOT a fan of Dickens. He was way too descriptive. He got paid by the word and made sure he used a lot. If an author uses to much description I will actually skip the description and read when they've finished.

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the excellent review and personal comments. It is so appreciated. Sending you my best today as always,
    Sal XOs....
Comment from estory
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This was a piece that became interesting to me because it seemed to touch on prose poetry, the introduction of those lists of words associated with 'eyes' that built up its own rhythm and was also full of images of emotion and energy. Interspersed with the sentences they conveyed this sense of a fragmented experience that I am so keen on, a fragmented experience imbedded in the flow of real life. We draw unconsciously on all kinds of memories of experience in our everyday life through the conotations of words we hear. estory

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 19-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the lovely review and encouraging words, dear estory. It is so appreciated. Sending you my best today as always,
    Sal XOs.....
Comment from Father Flaps
Excellent
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Hi Sally,
This is a great idea, and I'm sure a helpful reference for Fanstory writers of poetry and prose.
"The host for the ghost tour was just as I'd feared--ghoulish, with vacant, coal-black eyes. I bolted, never looking back." ...This line remined me of my muse, David Goss, our local historian who hosts a Walks 'n Talks program in and around the city of Saint John. I've written many poems for him which he reads along the way. He also visits schools and reads the kids some of my children's poetry. Lots of times, on his "Ghost Walks", he'll dress up as a wayward ghost.
I'm not surprised you chose "eyes" for your first installment. I know they are a priority for you. I'm in a lifeboat, too. But mine has to do with arthritis. I don't have it through my body, just my left hand now. My middle finger cramps up on me, locking and it's extremely painful until I am able to pry it out straight again. The thing is, I play guitar in the worship team. And I've played guitar since I was 14... 70 today, my birthday. So I'm going to miss it when I can't play any more. So far, I've been lucky. It has never cramped on a Sunday morning. I try to keep an open mind... you know the saying, "when one door closes, another opens".

Hugs,
Kimbob


 Comment Written 17-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the wonderful review and for all your kind compliments. I appreciate your reviewing my work and being such a good friend. By the way, I just posted a birthday poem for you, and I appreciate you telling me it was your birthday. Have a wonderful day and I hope you enjoy your poem.

    Sending my best today as always on your very special day,
    Sally XOs....
reply by Father Flaps on 17-Oct-2020
    It was so nice of you to write me a Birthday poem, Sally. I'm sending you a couple of my poems from 9 or 10 years ago, and I hope you'll enjoy them (when you have time).

    Autumn Surprise
    I entered the woods with my license to shoot,
    in bright orange colors, and high rubber boots.
    I carried my rifle, and bullets in belt,
    my true trusty compass and hat of warm felt.

    A deer was my prey, a buck in his prime,
    a magnificent monarch with antlers sublime.
    The sun turned the hoarfrost to glistening drops
    on every tree, on every hilltop.

    Quiet, respectful, I moseyed along
    with chickadees singing their bright cheerful song,
    and squirrels with their chatter, and woodpecker taps.
    It was then that I noticed her beautiful wrap.

    Heavenly tints, red, yellow and gold,
    she draped over shoulders for me to behold.
    Her dress was a flowing, grenadine gown
    with ironweed purple on mountain birch brown.

    She danced nimbly along the old logging road.
    Her swirling and twirling made colors explode.
    Pink and lime hues under radiant light
    fell down at her feet in a feathery flight.

    She was mine for the morning, a beautiful queen.
    Her crown was a sparkling emerald green
    that caused me to squint as antlers appeared,
    unmistakable skitter of a huge whitetail deer.

    I lifted my rifle, heart beating for shame.
    I flicked off the safety, and took careful aim.
    But the scene was so perfect, so utterly fine,
    I could not pull the trigger. It was too genuine.

    So the buck and Miss Autumn frolicked away,
    mingled in leafy mosaic display.
    And as naughty November climbed up the ridge,
    I clunked with my boots on an old spruce log bridge.
    Kim McAdam
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent
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This is a great idea, Sally. It is the "small" details that really make a work shine, and that is as important in prose as it is in poetry. Focusing on the eyes was a brilliant start because we do tend to believe the spirit emanates from them.

Clear writing and a most enjoyable read today. :)

Gloria

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 19-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the lovely review and kind compliments, dear Gloria. I'm so glad this helps you in any way, and encourages you in your writing. Sending you my best today as always, Sally XOs.....
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
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Hello Sal.

This is an exhaustive list of descriptors for the eyes which have been referred to as the "windows of the soul." Good descriptors and active verbs make for great writing. Still no internet.

PAL Z

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 19-Oct-2020
    Thank you so much for the excellent review and helpful critique. I will make sure and add that to my article. I appreciate your input and kind words. Sending you my best today as always, Sally Xo
reply by Robert Zimmerman on 19-Oct-2020
    You are very welcome Sal.

    Z PAL
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
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Quite a comprehensive list! Cheers. LIZ

(sugg: coal and emerald eyes sans -black and -green; unkept brows s/b unkempt; reword sugg: It was clear, given her haunted expression, that the young woman was troubled. )

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 19-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the excellent review and insightful comments. It is so appreciated. Sending you my best today as always,
    Sal XOs...
Comment from Gert sherwood
Excellent
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Hello Sally Law
How I wish I had six stars to give you for your excellent, first chapter giving us tips so many to describe the eyes.
Oh, yes your collective tips are excellent and very helpful.
Now I take it us fanstorians can use your tips in our writings.

"The face is a picture of the mind with the eyes as its interpreter."
-- Marcus Tullius Cicero
Gert
Gert

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 19-Oct-2020
    Thanks so much my dear Gert. I'm so glad this was helpful to you. I accept your virtual six and kindest compliments! Sending you my best today as always and blessings forever,
    Sal XOs.....xo.....
reply by Gert sherwood on 19-Oct-2020
    You are so welcome Sally Law
    Gert
Comment from fm wright
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Great advice done in a very organized manner. Glad you started out with the eyes as they can convey so much. Truly a well thought out piece. Very appropriate picture and video.

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the wonderful review and glorious stars, dear Faye. I've been working on this for months and months, since March! My novella had my immediate attention and drew me away for awhile. I was glad to finally offer this first chapter. I'm delighted you thought it organized. I've had to work on that one. LOL!

    Sending you my best today as always, and blessings for your writing endeavors,
    Sal XOs.....
reply by fm wright on 18-Oct-2020
    Wel your work certainly paid off, dear Sally.
    X's and o's,
    Faye
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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What a great idea for your book. I think I have seen more books about writing these days. But it also much better when we know th writer and her writing style. Thank you, Sally!

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 19-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the encouraging review and kind compliments. I'm glad if this helps and encourages.
    Sending you my best today as always,
    Sally XOs...