St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 71 "St. Louis Chapter 30 part 2"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
21 total reviews
Comment from w.j.debi
Hospital waiting rooms are the most frustrating places. They tell you so little and sometimes it feels like hours before they tell you anything. You've captured that feeling well. I am hoping for Mac's full recovery, as I'm sure all her supportive men are.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2020
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Hospital waiting rooms are the most frustrating places. They tell you so little and sometimes it feels like hours before they tell you anything. You've captured that feeling well. I am hoping for Mac's full recovery, as I'm sure all her supportive men are.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Barbara.wilkey,
Nice piece of Romance Fiction in continuation having lucid as well as perfectly matching the theme phraseology, CAPTIVATING flow from the beginning to the end, and beautifully depicting the complexities of the situation related to Mac's abduction.
Undoubtedly, Interesting!
[ "I can't keep the title 'St. Louis' when I'm ready to publish." I agree with you.
By the end of last 2-3 Posts, I'll try to suggest one or two. Good Luck! ]
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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Hello Barbara.wilkey,
Nice piece of Romance Fiction in continuation having lucid as well as perfectly matching the theme phraseology, CAPTIVATING flow from the beginning to the end, and beautifully depicting the complexities of the situation related to Mac's abduction.
Undoubtedly, Interesting!
[ "I can't keep the title 'St. Louis' when I'm ready to publish." I agree with you.
By the end of last 2-3 Posts, I'll try to suggest one or two. Good Luck! ]
Comment Written 25-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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I bet you'd have great ideas for titles. One reviewer actually said, "Why can't you keep St. Louis for the title?" OH MY! Thank you for the encouraging review.
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Barbara.Wilkey, Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP
Comment from AJ McCall
I was looking for this chapter... I'm as on edge as Logan is. The story's intriguing. I imagine this in tv show form. I think you should keep St. Louis. It makes YOUR writing stand out from others.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2020
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I was looking for this chapter... I'm as on edge as Logan is. The story's intriguing. I imagine this in tv show form. I think you should keep St. Louis. It makes YOUR writing stand out from others.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2020
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Thank you for the suggestion and the kind review.
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You're welcome!
Comment from estory
You're doing a good job with the dialogue here, there's all kinds of insights into the emotions of the cops here as they debate what happened to Mckenzie and the girls, and how to get information from the suspects. I would like to have that interrogation too. estory
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2020
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You're doing a good job with the dialogue here, there's all kinds of insights into the emotions of the cops here as they debate what happened to Mckenzie and the girls, and how to get information from the suspects. I would like to have that interrogation too. estory
Comment Written 23-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2020
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The actual interrogation doesn't more the story forward, but we needed it to happen. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Margaret Bednar
A bit of a pause in the action. Hospital scenes are a testament to patience. I wonder though, the doctor comes out and asks what happened, but I think he would have been briefed before and/or during his examination if the police brought her in. So I'm not sure this reads correctly. I could be wrong.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2020
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A bit of a pause in the action. Hospital scenes are a testament to patience. I wonder though, the doctor comes out and asks what happened, but I think he would have been briefed before and/or during his examination if the police brought her in. So I'm not sure this reads correctly. I could be wrong.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2020
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The previous post stated an ambulance brought her in. Logan rode in it with her. He his not a police officer.
Comment from Bobby Cunningham
This is a very captivating write that kept my eyes and brain eagerly pursuing the next line. I found no grammatical errors or any typos. My wife read it too and we both agree that this is an excellent write.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
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This is a very captivating write that kept my eyes and brain eagerly pursuing the next line. I found no grammatical errors or any typos. My wife read it too and we both agree that this is an excellent write.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
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Thank you, both for the encouraging review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
I wish I hadn't missed so many chapters and there was time for me to go back and catch up. I can't know everything that has happened to bring your story to this point, but hopefully I can start the next one from the beginning. As always, great job, and you keep me tied to my seat ready for whatever happens next. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
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I wish I hadn't missed so many chapters and there was time for me to go back and catch up. I can't know everything that has happened to bring your story to this point, but hopefully I can start the next one from the beginning. As always, great job, and you keep me tied to my seat ready for whatever happens next. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
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I am glad you reviewed this post. Thank you. This novel has about 10 more posts until it over. I have the next one almost written. It doesn't have the suspense in it.
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I always enjoy everything you write!
Comment from Ben Colder
Not sure, but will think about a title. She will be alright but you did put her through a lot. Logan, a trooper in love but willing to let things fall in place.
Being there is like a long walk on a short pier.
Best to you Barb.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
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Not sure, but will think about a title. She will be alright but you did put her through a lot. Logan, a trooper in love but willing to let things fall in place.
Being there is like a long walk on a short pier.
Best to you Barb.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
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LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Wonderful intrigue and suspense as usual. Life has too many pieces. But it is fun trying to figure out the puzzle. Your story is definitely a gigantic puzzle.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
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Wonderful intrigue and suspense as usual. Life has too many pieces. But it is fun trying to figure out the puzzle. Your story is definitely a gigantic puzzle.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
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Thank you for the kind review. I do feel something about a puzzle needs to be in the title.
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You'll come up with a jazzy title.
Comment from Sally Law
Poor thing. I don't wish this on anyone, especially our dear girl. This has the power to derail her. Hopefully, she doesn't shut out Logan and love.
Two suggestions for your consideration.
-Evidence collected from Ms. Morgan's (body) implies that she is dead. "Evidence collected from Ms. Morgan," is more accurate.
-"Logan, how (are) you holding up?" Smoother.
Now that I'm aware you need a title, I'll put my thinking cap on. ;)
Another fine chapter, dear Barbara.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xoxoxo
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
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Poor thing. I don't wish this on anyone, especially our dear girl. This has the power to derail her. Hopefully, she doesn't shut out Logan and love.
Two suggestions for your consideration.
-Evidence collected from Ms. Morgan's (body) implies that she is dead. "Evidence collected from Ms. Morgan," is more accurate.
-"Logan, how (are) you holding up?" Smoother.
Now that I'm aware you need a title, I'll put my thinking cap on. ;)
Another fine chapter, dear Barbara.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xoxoxo
Comment Written 21-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
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I made the correction. Thank you for the help.
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You are most welcome. I'm on vacay and also getting in some needed writing coaching. Have a wonderful week. Sal xoxo
