An Angel in the Meadow
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "The Boulder!"A Tennessee Romance!
19 total reviews
Comment from richie b
Bill and Cathy,
Your story remains fast paced with a lot of
movement. Angel and Brett go from the frying
pan into the fire, while trying to escape the cave
in. There dialogue keeps the reader entertained.
Lots of adventure going on and more still to
come.
Peace,
Richie
Bill and Cathy,
Your story remains fast paced with a lot of
movement. Angel and Brett go from the frying
pan into the fire, while trying to escape the cave
in. There dialogue keeps the reader entertained.
Lots of adventure going on and more still to
come.
Peace,
Richie
Comment Written 08-Jun-2020
Comment from Jacob David Collins
Another enjoyable chapter in this book. I thought the pace flowed really well and the dialogue between your characters made the story really come to life. I could feel the urgency and the fear when the bear made an appearance and it made me wonder what was going to happen next. I'm looking forward to reading more.
Another enjoyable chapter in this book. I thought the pace flowed really well and the dialogue between your characters made the story really come to life. I could feel the urgency and the fear when the bear made an appearance and it made me wonder what was going to happen next. I'm looking forward to reading more.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2020
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Bill and Cathy,
Nice piece in continuation having captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end and beautifully taking the story forward depicting scenes of thrills, humor and romance.
"...a large boulder..." in the end working as a HOOK.
Interesting Indeed!
Hello Bill and Cathy,
Nice piece in continuation having captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end and beautifully taking the story forward depicting scenes of thrills, humor and romance.
"...a large boulder..." in the end working as a HOOK.
Interesting Indeed!
Comment Written 08-Jun-2020
Comment from F. William Lester
Thanks for the read. I enjoyed the story. I have only two comments: I sensed your dialog as inconsistent at times. It didn't seem to maintain the dialect. Bret stayed in character throughout, but Angel seemed to take longer and her character wasn't as convincing. The other, when Bret fought the bear, wasn't realistic to me. A mama bear with a cub in my mind would be much more protective of the cub and more aggressive toward intruders in her cave. If she is a fairly large bear, I don't think she'd back off.
I'd like to hear what happened to them. Thanks for letting me read your work. Well written. Good luck. Good writing.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Thanks for the read. I enjoyed the story. I have only two comments: I sensed your dialog as inconsistent at times. It didn't seem to maintain the dialect. Bret stayed in character throughout, but Angel seemed to take longer and her character wasn't as convincing. The other, when Bret fought the bear, wasn't realistic to me. A mama bear with a cub in my mind would be much more protective of the cub and more aggressive toward intruders in her cave. If she is a fairly large bear, I don't think she'd back off.
I'd like to hear what happened to them. Thanks for letting me read your work. Well written. Good luck. Good writing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2020
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
The stones will perhaps miss Bret and Angel. You have to live so you can write the rest of your story. Those pink panties sure got you in lots of puzzling situations. Until the next chapter...God Bless and stay safe from those rocks.
The stones will perhaps miss Bret and Angel. You have to live so you can write the rest of your story. Those pink panties sure got you in lots of puzzling situations. Until the next chapter...God Bless and stay safe from those rocks.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2020
Comment from damommy
This chapter is filled with action. It moves at a great pace. All of
the descriptions sound real with the bear attack scary to say the least.
Readers are left wondering about that outcome. The conversations of the
characters puts readers right there in the scenes. The discussion about Jesus is uplifting and so true.
This chapter is filled with action. It moves at a great pace. All of
the descriptions sound real with the bear attack scary to say the least.
Readers are left wondering about that outcome. The conversations of the
characters puts readers right there in the scenes. The discussion about Jesus is uplifting and so true.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2020
Comment from irishauthorme
A fast moving, well-written narrative! You took us through some tight times, a little passion, then the unexpected bear attack, which then seemed logical, I mean, bears do live in caves, don't they?
And, you fulfilled your promise to leave us hanging, but hopefully not for long!
irish
A fast moving, well-written narrative! You took us through some tight times, a little passion, then the unexpected bear attack, which then seemed logical, I mean, bears do live in caves, don't they?
And, you fulfilled your promise to leave us hanging, but hopefully not for long!
irish
Comment Written 06-Jun-2020
Comment from nomi338
Wow! This chapter was filled with romance, adventure, a liittle bit of exciting sexual activity, religious expression, a vision of the past and the future. All wrapped up in one single chapter. In my opinion that is effective writing. Some people write a whole book and do not accomplish as much.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this exciting chapter and look forward to reading the next.
Wow! This chapter was filled with romance, adventure, a liittle bit of exciting sexual activity, religious expression, a vision of the past and the future. All wrapped up in one single chapter. In my opinion that is effective writing. Some people write a whole book and do not accomplish as much.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this exciting chapter and look forward to reading the next.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2020
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Well, you two have delivered another earth shaking chapter! I purely love reading these posts.
I noticed one missing letter:
"Bending over a little more, her skirt lifted up howin' (showin') her pink panties.
Well, you two have delivered another earth shaking chapter! I purely love reading these posts.
I noticed one missing letter:
"Bending over a little more, her skirt lifted up howin' (showin') her pink panties.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2020
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I found this part very amusing and in the same time quite funny:"revice, then ran to his side. Cradling him, she broke down and cried. "Why, Lord, why? You brought me down to take care of Bret; yet, I didn't. None of this would have happened if I hadn't bent over too far and showed off my pink panties."
Yup, those panties brought troubles in the cave.
I found this part very amusing and in the same time quite funny:"revice, then ran to his side. Cradling him, she broke down and cried. "Why, Lord, why? You brought me down to take care of Bret; yet, I didn't. None of this would have happened if I hadn't bent over too far and showed off my pink panties."
Yup, those panties brought troubles in the cave.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020