Joined at the Hip
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The Pitchfork!"Bill and Cathy's hearts beat as one!
24 total reviews
Comment from DeboraDyess
I love the beautiful encouragement between the young lovers, but have you ever beenin a tornado? I"m nott sure I could have articulated thoughts like that on the run. I was in a house, watching it come toward us and couldn't speak through fear. YOur characters may be made of sterner stuff than I am, but ... I'd move the long paragraph of encouragement to under the bridge. Makes it feel more real. You're almost playing away their fear with the banter. I don't feel afraid of the tornado because they odn't seem to be.
Have you introduced Cathy's parents before? If so, you dn't need to do ti again. That just makes it a bit cumbersome. If you haven't, you need to do that, of course.
it was clear to see why her om >> Haven't mentioned Cathy In a bit. I think I'd just go with Cecile (sorry about spelling!) since we already know who she is.
I'm not sure why you went from third person (at the beginning) to first person (at the end). It confused me. for a minute, I thought there was another character who joined the mix. the first-person account is also in a different dialect; no Appilacian at all. I'd make it consistent fromone area to another. This is the only reason I gave you a 4 star. If you fix that and then PM me, I'll come change it. But that's such a glaring mistake and so confusing to the reader that I felt it warrented a 4. (Please don't just reply to tell me it's fixed; PM is best.)
Overall, though, a good read! I know I've read one chapter. I need to go back and grab the others and get caught up. :)
Thank you for the read! Be blessed, both of you. :)
Deb
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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I love the beautiful encouragement between the young lovers, but have you ever beenin a tornado? I"m nott sure I could have articulated thoughts like that on the run. I was in a house, watching it come toward us and couldn't speak through fear. YOur characters may be made of sterner stuff than I am, but ... I'd move the long paragraph of encouragement to under the bridge. Makes it feel more real. You're almost playing away their fear with the banter. I don't feel afraid of the tornado because they odn't seem to be.
Have you introduced Cathy's parents before? If so, you dn't need to do ti again. That just makes it a bit cumbersome. If you haven't, you need to do that, of course.
it was clear to see why her om >> Haven't mentioned Cathy In a bit. I think I'd just go with Cecile (sorry about spelling!) since we already know who she is.
I'm not sure why you went from third person (at the beginning) to first person (at the end). It confused me. for a minute, I thought there was another character who joined the mix. the first-person account is also in a different dialect; no Appilacian at all. I'd make it consistent fromone area to another. This is the only reason I gave you a 4 star. If you fix that and then PM me, I'll come change it. But that's such a glaring mistake and so confusing to the reader that I felt it warrented a 4. (Please don't just reply to tell me it's fixed; PM is best.)
Overall, though, a good read! I know I've read one chapter. I need to go back and grab the others and get caught up. :)
Thank you for the read! Be blessed, both of you. :)
Deb
Comment Written 29-May-2020
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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A "SALUTE," Deb! Thanks for the review, kind words and suggestions. Your thoughts matter to us; yet, we feel comfortable with the chapter as written. It's plain you spent lot's of time here trying to help, and we appreciate you. Great hearing from you and God Bless. Respectfully with Admiration, Cathy and Bill.
Comment from Tootie
This was so much fun to write together, and we wrote it like the tornado was chasing us all through it! The six stars are all for you, Co-Author! Not only are you an AWESOME writer with incredible and unique talents, but you also are highly disciplined to write every day. You have shown me how much can be accomplished when committed to doing so. I'm happy to say, too, that because of you, we are going to have our first co-authored book, "Love Long Distance" published within the next two months. Also, we're moving along with the other four books we're currently working on, and other writings, as well. HURRAH! A "SALUTE" to YOU, along with a VERY BIG THANK YOU! You are the BEST! I hope and pray you'll keep writing with me forever! Wishing you all the happiness you so greatly deserve. God Bless. Respectfully with Admiration and Galaxies upon Galaxies of Love, Cathy
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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This was so much fun to write together, and we wrote it like the tornado was chasing us all through it! The six stars are all for you, Co-Author! Not only are you an AWESOME writer with incredible and unique talents, but you also are highly disciplined to write every day. You have shown me how much can be accomplished when committed to doing so. I'm happy to say, too, that because of you, we are going to have our first co-authored book, "Love Long Distance" published within the next two months. Also, we're moving along with the other four books we're currently working on, and other writings, as well. HURRAH! A "SALUTE" to YOU, along with a VERY BIG THANK YOU! You are the BEST! I hope and pray you'll keep writing with me forever! Wishing you all the happiness you so greatly deserve. God Bless. Respectfully with Admiration and Galaxies upon Galaxies of Love, Cathy
Comment Written 28-May-2020
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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A "DOUBLE SALUTE," Co-Author! Long story short, "All of the above right back at ya!" As for having "Love Long Distance" published within the next two month . . . I say, "HURRAH!" It's "YOU" that's making this happen--You betcha! Writing at your side is an "HONOR!" God Bless. Respectfully with Admiration and a CAVE full of LOVE, Bill
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Bill and Cathy: What fun! Your family went into a storm and Bob
had a party with moonshine. I know that you all are close-knit family.
Simple things and people are important then and now. So many people
don't know what a farm or a mule is. Glad you can share the good o times.
My daughters love going on farms and feeding the rescue animals like the goats and sheep at Broken Forks. I like horse ranches and riding.
Enjoy your precious family. Stars ************* flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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Bill and Cathy: What fun! Your family went into a storm and Bob
had a party with moonshine. I know that you all are close-knit family.
Simple things and people are important then and now. So many people
don't know what a farm or a mule is. Glad you can share the good o times.
My daughters love going on farms and feeding the rescue animals like the goats and sheep at Broken Forks. I like horse ranches and riding.
Enjoy your precious family. Stars ************* flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 27-May-2020
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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A "SALUTE," flylikeaneagle! Thanks for the "Exceptional" review, kind works and taking time to read our work. Great hearing from you, our dear friend. Best wishes for an awesome weekend and God Bless. Respectfully with Admiration, Cathy and Bill.
Comment from country ranch writer
Nice presentation, it is horrible when honor ado. Come from out of nowhere and no place to get out of its path tearing up and killing everything I'm its path.
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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Nice presentation, it is horrible when honor ado. Come from out of nowhere and no place to get out of its path tearing up and killing everything I'm its path.
Comment Written 27-May-2020
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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A "SALUTE," CRW! Great hearing from you, our dear friend. Thanks for the review, kind words and taking time to read our work. Best wishes for an awesome weekend and God Bless. Respectfully with Admiration, Cathy and Bill.
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:)) = smiles!
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Once again . . . :) = smiles!
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Comment from Iza Deleanu
Oh, no , don't kill the Grandpa, the book will ben o fun without him. Who will tell jokes and keep his cool in difficult situations? Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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Oh, no , don't kill the Grandpa, the book will ben o fun without him. Who will tell jokes and keep his cool in difficult situations? Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter
Comment Written 27-May-2020
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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A "SALUTE," Iza! I wish Cathy loved me like the readers love Grandpa--"Po, Bill!" Great hearing from you, our dear friend. Thanks for the review, kind words and taking time to read our work. Best wishes for an awesome weekend and God Bless. Respectfully with Admiration, Cathy and Bill.
Comment from BethShelby
You seem to have a lot of hair-raising adventures in these stories. The pitchfork flying through the air an ending up stuck in Grandpa makes a cliff-hanger for the next adventure. Nicely written.
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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You seem to have a lot of hair-raising adventures in these stories. The pitchfork flying through the air an ending up stuck in Grandpa makes a cliff-hanger for the next adventure. Nicely written.
Comment Written 27-May-2020
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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A "SALUTE, Beth! Great hearing from you. Thanks for the review, kind words and taking time to read our work. Best wishes for an awesome weekend and Go Bless. Respectfully with Admiration, Cathy and Bill.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
We had a terrific real storm here last night, too. It rain so hard that I couldn't see too far. Your tornado sounds a little like beyond dangerous. I hope Grandpa will make his ordeal because I would miss him in your story. A main character!
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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We had a terrific real storm here last night, too. It rain so hard that I couldn't see too far. Your tornado sounds a little like beyond dangerous. I hope Grandpa will make his ordeal because I would miss him in your story. A main character!
Comment Written 27-May-2020
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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A "SALUTE," Rosemary! Great hearing from you, our dear friend. Thanks for the review, kind words and taking time to read our work. Oh, yes! Grandpa's a mess. I wish Cathy loved me as much as she loves him--"Po, Bill!" Best wishes for an awesome weekend and God Bless. Respectfully with Admiration, Cathy and Bill.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I've never lived where you have tornadoes nor do I want to. They should be called destroyers. You described it very well going by the ones I've seen on the television. I've decided to stay in England, it's the safest place on Earth! LOL. Well done. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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I've never lived where you have tornadoes nor do I want to. They should be called destroyers. You described it very well going by the ones I've seen on the television. I've decided to stay in England, it's the safest place on Earth! LOL. Well done. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 27-May-2020
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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A "SALUTE," Sandra! Great hearing from you, our dear friend. Thanks for the review, kind words and taking time to read our work. Best wishes for an awesome weekend and God Bless. Respectfully with Admiration, Cathy and Bill. :)) xx
Comment from damommy
I'm familiar with tornadoes as I live in an area where they occur. Your description was intense and true about them. I like how this chapter flows smoothly throughout. What a scary ending--won't know the result
until next time!
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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I'm familiar with tornadoes as I live in an area where they occur. Your description was intense and true about them. I like how this chapter flows smoothly throughout. What a scary ending--won't know the result
until next time!
Comment Written 27-May-2020
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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A "SALUTE," damommy! Great hearing from you, our dear friend. Thanks for the review, kind words and taking time to read our work. Best wishes for an awesome weekend and God Bless. Respectfully with Admiration, Cathy and Bill.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very good action packed chapter. I can't wait to hear about Grandpa and if he is o.k. You used great descriptive words and very good dialogue. I'll be waiting for the next chapter! love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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This is a very good action packed chapter. I can't wait to hear about Grandpa and if he is o.k. You used great descriptive words and very good dialogue. I'll be waiting for the next chapter! love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 26-May-2020
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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A "SALUTE," Teri! Great hearing from you, our dear friend. Thanks for the review, kind words and taking time to read our work. Best wishes for an awesome weekend and God Bless. Respectfully with Admiration, Cathy and Bill.