When I Was Young
Swap Quatrain18 total reviews
Comment from June Sargent
Not only did this nostalgic piece bring back some great memories, but the format of the swap quatrain made it fun to read! I enjoyed this trip down memory lane.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2020
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Not only did this nostalgic piece bring back some great memories, but the format of the swap quatrain made it fun to read! I enjoyed this trip down memory lane.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2020
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Aw 6 stars? Thank you!!! and thanks for reading! Much appreciated.
Comment from RShipp
Wow! Talk about a confusing and difficult poem pattern!!
"So, gently step amongst sea shells,
sweet music of vast ocean dwells"
These were my favorite lines.
Well done.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2020
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Wow! Talk about a confusing and difficult poem pattern!!
"So, gently step amongst sea shells,
sweet music of vast ocean dwells"
These were my favorite lines.
Well done.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2020
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You should try it!!... thanks for reviewing! Much appreciated. :-)
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello Susan!
Not only is your swap quatrain impeccable in rhythm, rhyme, and form, it brought back a plethora of memories of my own childhood and the childhood experienced by my own children. Very much enjoyed!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2020
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Hello Susan!
Not only is your swap quatrain impeccable in rhythm, rhyme, and form, it brought back a plethora of memories of my own childhood and the childhood experienced by my own children. Very much enjoyed!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 06-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2020
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Hi Diane! I had a little fun writing this one! I'm happy you enjoyed. Thank you also for 6 stars! :-)))
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My pleasure!
You've inspired me to attempt one as well!
Hoping you are safe and well!
diane
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written rhyming swap Quatrain, we can all remember those carefree days we were spending on the beach building sand castles and picking up shells along the shore.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2020
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A very well-written rhyming swap Quatrain, we can all remember those carefree days we were spending on the beach building sand castles and picking up shells along the shore.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2020
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Hi Sandra, Thank you for reading! Much apreciated :-)
Comment from Allieas
Wow, I absolutely loved this. You're a wordsmith, and I can't see a single misspelling or clumsy moment in this poem. You really capture the joys and bittersweet moments of different stages of life. I particular enjoyed the last two stanzas. Thanks for sharing this, and hope you're well in this crazy moment the world is experiencing!
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2020
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Wow, I absolutely loved this. You're a wordsmith, and I can't see a single misspelling or clumsy moment in this poem. You really capture the joys and bittersweet moments of different stages of life. I particular enjoyed the last two stanzas. Thanks for sharing this, and hope you're well in this crazy moment the world is experiencing!
Comment Written 05-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2020
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Aw 6 stars! Thank you! I had a little fun with this one for sure :-)
Comment from Michele Harber
This is a well done Swap Quatrain poem, and I have to admit your beach theme brought up pleasant childhood memories for me as well. I enjoyed the number of sea-related images you brought up, from the fanciful mermaid, pirate and Loch Ness monster, to the more easily proven sea shells and shifting tides. You kept a nice, enjoyable, nostalgic tone throughout. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2020
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This is a well done Swap Quatrain poem, and I have to admit your beach theme brought up pleasant childhood memories for me as well. I enjoyed the number of sea-related images you brought up, from the fanciful mermaid, pirate and Loch Ness monster, to the more easily proven sea shells and shifting tides. You kept a nice, enjoyable, nostalgic tone throughout. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2020
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Hi Michele!...this was fun to work on. Thank you for stopping by and reading! :-)
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You're very welcome. This does seem like a fun form of poetry, and I want to try it myself one day.
Comment from Gloria ....
Ah so lovely Susan and the swap quatrain is an excellent form choice for the rhyming contest, because it adds that little extra lever of complexity.
Your tone and imagery bring back warm memories of the good old days of sun and sun.
Wishing you much luck with the Contest Committee. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2020
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Ah so lovely Susan and the swap quatrain is an excellent form choice for the rhyming contest, because it adds that little extra lever of complexity.
Your tone and imagery bring back warm memories of the good old days of sun and sun.
Wishing you much luck with the Contest Committee. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 05-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2020
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Hi Gloria!Yes, I had a little fun with this one. Glad you enjoyed!
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a well done swap quatrain. It tells of childhood days and the imagination kids have. Poetry and other writing helps us keep that imagination flowing freely even if we aren't as free as we used to be.
Good luck in the contest
Keep writing and stay healthy.
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
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This is a well done swap quatrain. It tells of childhood days and the imagination kids have. Poetry and other writing helps us keep that imagination flowing freely even if we aren't as free as we used to be.
Good luck in the contest
Keep writing and stay healthy.
dragonpoet
Comment Written 05-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
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Thank you kindly for such a nice review! Be safe out there too! :-)
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You are most kindly welcome.
dp
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
When I Was Young
by Susanjohn
Hello, Susan,
Nice Swap Quatrain. I never heard of it. You did a great job following the rules of the new form. I love your presentation. Your poem made me remember times I spent at the beach. Good job, my friend.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2020
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When I Was Young
by Susanjohn
Hello, Susan,
Nice Swap Quatrain. I never heard of it. You did a great job following the rules of the new form. I love your presentation. Your poem made me remember times I spent at the beach. Good job, my friend.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2020
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Hi Gypsy! Thanks again. It's a fun form...you should try it!
Comment from WalkerMan
You delight us with your fond childhood memories in this perfectly composed Swap Quatrain poem. (Clearly, Richard J taught you Lorraine M. Kanter's poetic form well; but the words are only as YOU would choose.) My favorite stanza is
Soft golden sand, li'l footprints trail,
whilst swaying plastic yellow pail;
a mighty fortress castle planned ...
li'l footprints trail soft golden sand.
I can relate, for my own childhood was near a sparkling white beach at the ocean. You are right about changing tides, too; as that beach now is dingy gray and one-third of its former distance from boardwalk to the water.
Superb, and most aptly illustrated.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2020
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You delight us with your fond childhood memories in this perfectly composed Swap Quatrain poem. (Clearly, Richard J taught you Lorraine M. Kanter's poetic form well; but the words are only as YOU would choose.) My favorite stanza is
Soft golden sand, li'l footprints trail,
whilst swaying plastic yellow pail;
a mighty fortress castle planned ...
li'l footprints trail soft golden sand.
I can relate, for my own childhood was near a sparkling white beach at the ocean. You are right about changing tides, too; as that beach now is dingy gray and one-third of its former distance from boardwalk to the water.
Superb, and most aptly illustrated.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2020
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Thank you Mike for such a great review. I had lots of fun with my kids at the beach.
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You are most welcome, Susan. It brought back fond memories for me too. Your ability to master a new (to you) form in one try is a tribute to your natural aptitude and skills. -- Mike
