Comment from tfawcus

Exceptional

Another fine chapter, Sandra. I'm impressed by how internally consistent your creation is. Details that hark back to previous episodes add to the realism. Kon blocking Eric while the four of them concentrate on creating the virtual image is one example of what I mean.
You have been able to give us quite a bit of information here by using Eric's questions, and this makes it much more natural than an information dump.

My own editing is making me more observant! A few minor things to consider:

Two aqua-beings swam up close to the glass [pane and] stared in at Eric. [Remove extra space.]

For that reason(,) we have started our own farm

But in order to explain it properly, [Consider 'But to explain']

we asked our Maker for help, but after a while(,) we realised it was down to us.

we never thought we'd [need to] take everyone off our planet. [Remove extra space.]

This way, if we have to move(,) we'll have many planets to choose from.

you would have survived but(,) you would have needed to change

As you have already seen, we are able to change our legs into tails for moving in the water, and back [into legs] for walking on land. [Consider 'and back again for walking on land'.]

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2020

Thank you so much for this help, Tony, I'm not good at editing straight on here, so I'm going to copy and paste these corrections, and do it that way. I have changed the last one about the legs, though, even I couldn't mess that up!! LOL
Thank you so much for the shiny 6 stars, my friend, and the lovely review, I especially liked that you mentioned the way I add the information through Eric's questions, I'm delighted that came through. I hope you're editing is going well? Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx

Comment from Cindy Warren

Excellent

I kind of feel sorry for the Atlantians, but what else do they have to do to survive? If they're all sweetness and light, there's no story. Will Eric and company help them come up with another solution?
I'm afraid I don't know much about dyslexia, so I can't be much help there. Perhaps Eric could help you.

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2020

Yes, the Atlantian's haven't had much luck and it's not over yet. Thank you, Cindy, for your lovely review, I hope you'll be back for more, my friend. Big hugs! :)) Sandra xxx

Comment from Bichon

Excellent

I regret to say I haven't read other parts of this story, but it is so interesting! The characters themselves have great definition and really bring the story to life. Such a creative idea, well done.

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2020

Thank you, Chloe! That is such a nice review even though you haven't read the rest. It's so encouraging to know you found it interesting and like my characters even without reading the other 4 parts. Thank you for that! Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx

Comment from Marjon van Bruggen

Excellent

This is, as before, magnificent. Let me first try to answer your question about italics for dyslectic children. Will they be able to read it easily? They will be able to read it...but not easily. I suggest you write the thought-parts one size bigger and in fat black. That way they will differ from the rest of the text, stand out, and become very easy to read.

As for the content of this part... I become more and more intrigued. I also like that you inserted a subtle warning to all of us about being very careful with our planet, or we will be forced to look for other places in the galaxy to live. Our planet will become unlivable.
Sandra, not for nothing do you occupy the 1 spot for novellists. Super!

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2020

Hi Marjon, thank you so much for your very kind comments, my head is swollen now!! LOL. I think that idea of changing the italics into bold and a size larger in the book is excellent. I might even write the next part like that and see what the response it. I'm really grateful for your suggestion.

I'm delighted you approve of my 'subtle warning' of global warming. I want it to come across, but not in a way that it sounds political. Children need to know, but in a simpler way that they can understand, and enjoy reading. Thanks again, my friend. :)) Sandra xx

reply by Marjon van Bruggen on 16-Mar-2020

So welcome, Sandra.

Comment from Mistydawn

Exceptional

What a sad story about their planet. Why do I get a feeling Eric will want to help them. Your story is well-written, very interesting as always. I look forward to reading more.

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2020

Thank you so much for the six stars, Misty, and for your lovely comments. Yes, Eric has a lot to say, and, of course, do. Lol, you are getting to know what my grandson is like! Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx

Comment from Drew Delaney

Exceptional

No nits that I noticed but I do miss them too, sometimes. LOL
Very well written and full of adventure. ERIC will be thrilled I am certain. I thought it worked well that the beings thoughts were written in italics. It helped to keep the conversation going well.
Drew xx

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2020

That's such an encouraging review, Drew. It's hard to know what's best for him to read, but I'll persevere.
Thank you so much for the six stars, and for the lovely comments, it's lovely having you along. Big hugs, my dear friend. :)) Sandra xx

Comment from Robert Zimmerman

Excellent

Hello Sandra. Some of my early guesses about your story were confirmed but others are still unanswered so I will keep reading. I can see that you'll be implimenting detail to assemble the story which will make it interesting reading.
When you spoke about changing the font for the telepathic conversations, perhaps colors would work well.

Robert

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2020

Thank you so much, Robert, for the lovely comments. I remember reading your review back when Eric first met the Atlanteans and had a chuckle. Yes, more will come out, so I'm glad you'll still be coming along. Thank you for that suggestion, too, I think that might be the way to go when the book is ready for publishing. I know that dyslexic people read better on yellow paper, which is how Eric's first two have been done. The third is being done at the moment. I appreciated you input very much. Thank you, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx

reply by Robert Zimmerman on 16-Mar-2020

You're very welcome.

Comment from Shirley McLain

Exceptional

Excellent job, my friend. It is such a neat thing to do for your Grandson. I can't give any advice on dyslexia. Your storyline is great and my favorite character is Gizmo. Shirley

Oh, by the way, we have Yellow Pages here in the states also.

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2020

Aw, Shirley, thank you so much for the six stars, and your very kind comments. Oh, that's great about the Yellow Pages, that means the children who read this book in your country will understand what it is. Thank you, again, my friend. Big hugs. Sandra xxx

Comment from Ulla

Exceptional

Hi Sandra, this is a fantastic continuation to the story, and what an amazing one. Your imagination knows no bounds. I loved the wee confrontation with Kon. Great pun that name is. I only found one thing:
For that reason we have started out own farm, = For that reason we have started out our own farm,
Looking forward to what's next. Hugs. Ulla xxx
About the italics I don't know whether it would be difficult for a dyslexic to grasp. Sorry for not being of much help there.

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2020

Thanks so much for the lovely six, Ulla, and for spotting that error! I missed that one. :(
I'm so pleased you liked this part, I always feel a bit nervous when I post this story, it's so different to the others. But, I'm enjoying it. Thanks again, my friend. Big hugs, Sandra xxx

Comment from juliaSjames

Excellent

Entertaining write which is very easy to read. Love the way Eric keeps butting in with questions in his usual impetuous style.

I may have missed a chapter or maybe I didn't focus sufficiently when I read, because I'm not quite clear about the Atlanteans' habitat. Are they on a spaceship? Or in a bubble under the ocean? Sorry I'm confused.

Blessings Julia

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2020

Hi, Julia. They live in the sea and on their spaceship which is on dry land next to the ocean. They are mostly water beings, but also like to be on dry land. Eric and Herbie are often placed in the bubble if Gizmo thinks they will be in danger. The Atlanteans are in for a few unfortunate surprises soon. I hope that helps. Thank you so much for reading and for your lovely comments, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx

reply by juliaSjames on 16-Mar-2020

Thank you for clearing that point up. Still enjoying your story.

Julia