Love Long Distance
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "The Shadow of Ol' Glory"A Wartime Romance
26 total reviews
Comment from damommy
This was well written. There's much action and good dialogue. I like the details of your story.
The videos were great--loved the McDonald's one. Things are really moving ahead in your collaborative book.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2020
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This was well written. There's much action and good dialogue. I like the details of your story.
The videos were great--loved the McDonald's one. Things are really moving ahead in your collaborative book.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2020
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Hi Yvonne! So glad you enjoyed this chapter and found it filled with action and good dialogue. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing it. Always enjoy referencing things like the McDonald's history. Glad you enjoyed that, too. Chapter 24 has just been posted and promoted. HURRAH! Wishing you all the best. Take care and God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Bill & Cathy
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Cathy,
Nice piece in continuation having interesting flow in the beginning, but I feel a dearth of coherence from middle onward almost up to the end. That's why I'm waiting for the 24th Chapter to find better result, and I hope so.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2020
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Hello Cathy,
Nice piece in continuation having interesting flow in the beginning, but I feel a dearth of coherence from middle onward almost up to the end. That's why I'm waiting for the 24th Chapter to find better result, and I hope so.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2020
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Hi There! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. Also, we really appreciate your continued support and honest opinion. Sorry you didn't enjoy the entire chapter as much as others. We hope we redeemed ourselves with the next chapter that was just posted. Wishing you all the best. Stay well and God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Bill & Cathy
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Bill & Cathy, Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP
Comment from karenina
Oh! Good stuff! (It's always good stuff!)---What ever will I do? I'm going to be away for a bit as my membership is winding down and I need a few months to budget money to come and read and write again... Keep it up and I'll catch up, promise!---Karenina
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2020
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Oh! Good stuff! (It's always good stuff!)---What ever will I do? I'm going to be away for a bit as my membership is winding down and I need a few months to budget money to come and read and write again... Keep it up and I'll catch up, promise!---Karenina
Comment Written 10-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2020
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Hello Karenina, We hope you are doing well. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. Your continued support means a great deal to us! We're also glad that you didn't have to leave the site--not even for a couple months. Chapter 24 has just been posted. HURRAH! Wishing you all the best. God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Bill & Cathy
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Yes, well...I'm not sure WHEN exactly my time runs out now but I have about an extra month so that's awesome. I will get to your chapter soon. My husband is a "prsesumptive positive" Coronavirus patient due to his symptoms. He was tested yesterday and we are now quarantined together at home for the three or four days until we know for sure. UGH! It's always something!--Karenina
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We are praying for both you and your husband. Here's hoping the tests come back negative. We are all susceptible to this. Take care. Again, thank you so much for your support. God Bless--Bill & Cathy
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His results came back positive. Nothing to do but stay quarantined and hope his symptoms stay manageable here at home.--Karenina
Comment from Sally Law
So sorry to be so behind in this, but this chapter was easily followed. You have such a wonderful presentation, Cathy, and it's easy on my eyes. I live near Blue Sprimgs and have actually snorkeled there as a teenager. It is breathtakingly beautiful and the video you provided, a pleasure. I remember the McDomalds menu and pricing! The first one built in Orlando is still there, not too far from where I live now. 25 cents for a hamburger and fries. We split the Co-Cola. ;)
This is sweet and endearing and Im still hoping for the best for our sweet couple. I hope Bill returns soon. Yes, you can pass a kidney stone depending on how many there are in less than a day.
I hope this five star review cheers you. Don't let anyone get you down with their crappy reviews. Just mute them. They need to read Zig Ziglar's book, "How To Win Friends and Influence People." I personally think a reviewer should have at least three posts before they are allowed reviewing privileges. That's just me, I guess. In edit, there is an option for locking out reviews from non-writers. Check with Tom or Pam Respa regarding this. I had my husband set it due to my eyesight loss.
Sending you both my best today as always,
Your friend and fan, Sally Law xoxo
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2020
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So sorry to be so behind in this, but this chapter was easily followed. You have such a wonderful presentation, Cathy, and it's easy on my eyes. I live near Blue Sprimgs and have actually snorkeled there as a teenager. It is breathtakingly beautiful and the video you provided, a pleasure. I remember the McDomalds menu and pricing! The first one built in Orlando is still there, not too far from where I live now. 25 cents for a hamburger and fries. We split the Co-Cola. ;)
This is sweet and endearing and Im still hoping for the best for our sweet couple. I hope Bill returns soon. Yes, you can pass a kidney stone depending on how many there are in less than a day.
I hope this five star review cheers you. Don't let anyone get you down with their crappy reviews. Just mute them. They need to read Zig Ziglar's book, "How To Win Friends and Influence People." I personally think a reviewer should have at least three posts before they are allowed reviewing privileges. That's just me, I guess. In edit, there is an option for locking out reviews from non-writers. Check with Tom or Pam Respa regarding this. I had my husband set it due to my eyesight loss.
Sending you both my best today as always,
Your friend and fan, Sally Law xoxo
Comment Written 10-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2020
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Hi Sally! Sorry it has taken so long to respond to this. Your advice is VERY MUCH appreciated! We have read Zig Ziglar's book and totally agree! Thank you SO MUCH for that, and thank you for reading and reviewing this chapter. Your continued support and kind words mean so much to both of us. Chapter 24 has just been posted. HURRAH!!! Enjoy! Wishing you all the best. Stay well and God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Bill & Cathy
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Grandpa got himself in trouble by his flirting. I'm sure the fellow who is chasing him will realize that he wasn't serious. He loves his g'ma, too, much. So glad the story brought wonderful news about the baby; only a passing of a kidney stone.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2020
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Grandpa got himself in trouble by his flirting. I'm sure the fellow who is chasing him will realize that he wasn't serious. He loves his g'ma, too, much. So glad the story brought wonderful news about the baby; only a passing of a kidney stone.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2020
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Hi Rosemary, Your continued support means so much to us. Thank you for reading and reviewing this chapter. A "Salute!" That grandpa - always flirting! (Now we know where Bill gets it from! :) ) Chapter 24 has just been posted. Yay!! Wishing you all the best. Stay well and God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Bill & Cathy
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This part of the novel stands on itself, interesting and appealing plot development, realistic and contributory dialogues, philosophic and spiritual manifestation of living, orderly and artistic taletelling; well said, well done; enjoyed the read; thanks for sharing this; may sponsor my membership.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2020
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This part of the novel stands on itself, interesting and appealing plot development, realistic and contributory dialogues, philosophic and spiritual manifestation of living, orderly and artistic taletelling; well said, well done; enjoyed the read; thanks for sharing this; may sponsor my membership.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2020
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HURRAH!!! Greetings, Friend! So sorry it has taken a while to respond to you. Thank you SO MUCH for the AWESOME six star rating and review. We are so glad you enjoyed this chapter. Chapter 24 has just been posted! Yay! Take care and God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Bill & Cathy
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
The story has taken an adventurous turn that adds a dimension to the comings and goings of the family. Through the dilemma of Cathy's pain and Bill's graduation, it hums along. Now things have changed and we must wait to find out, how?
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2020
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The story has taken an adventurous turn that adds a dimension to the comings and goings of the family. Through the dilemma of Cathy's pain and Bill's graduation, it hums along. Now things have changed and we must wait to find out, how?
Comment Written 08-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2020
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Hi Raffaelina! As always, we are so appreciative of your continued support. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. So much going on and now, as we end our next Chapter that was just posted (Yay!), we enter into the hardest part of the story - Bill in Vietnam. Wishing you all the best. Take care and God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Bill & Cathy
Comment from Marietta Standlee
I enjoyed the way the people talked, it brought me back to the 'old days'. But there doesn't seem to be much flow in between the sentences. Some of the paragraphs are a little chopped, which might be because it's only a snapshot in the middle of a novel.
I think a little bit more description would help.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2020
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I enjoyed the way the people talked, it brought me back to the 'old days'. But there doesn't seem to be much flow in between the sentences. Some of the paragraphs are a little chopped, which might be because it's only a snapshot in the middle of a novel.
I think a little bit more description would help.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2020
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Hello, Marietta - Thank you for stopping by to read and review this chapter, however, we are disappointed by only three stars due to the fact that you wanted more description. In a novel, to repeat details on Chapter 23 of a 300+ page book wouldn't make sense now, would it? Our details are in our book in the appropriate places. Seems that those that have been reading from the beginning are not having a problem knowing who the characters are and what's happening. Maybe you don't understand Smoky Mountain talk either? We suggest you start at Chapter 1, or maybe this is just not your kind of book. Wishing you all the best. Take care and God Bless.
Respectfully,
Bill & Cathy
Comment from ann borges
Slow down there, partner. This here thing is giving me whiplash!
I just started with this site and have not read the previous chapters.
My thoughts so far: (I could be way off)
This is a comedy, as in slap-stick silliness. We are not meant to take this seriously.
People do not pass kidney stones that fast. They certainly would not be up to eating any big meal after such an ordeal.
The writing repeats itself. ex: you tell us what the character is saying, and then you say it, ex: I was worried about the pain I was experiencing, then in the next line you ask the same thing. Pick one or the other. Watch repeating certain words in the same sentence unless that was a joke, ex: ...the ceremony was through, felt alone and blue, and the training was through.
Take your time in the scene to let us feel what the characters are going through. It all feels so rushed I can barely keep up.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
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Slow down there, partner. This here thing is giving me whiplash!
I just started with this site and have not read the previous chapters.
My thoughts so far: (I could be way off)
This is a comedy, as in slap-stick silliness. We are not meant to take this seriously.
People do not pass kidney stones that fast. They certainly would not be up to eating any big meal after such an ordeal.
The writing repeats itself. ex: you tell us what the character is saying, and then you say it, ex: I was worried about the pain I was experiencing, then in the next line you ask the same thing. Pick one or the other. Watch repeating certain words in the same sentence unless that was a joke, ex: ...the ceremony was through, felt alone and blue, and the training was through.
Take your time in the scene to let us feel what the characters are going through. It all feels so rushed I can barely keep up.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
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Please take this response seriously. You are new to FanStory with no credentials and no fans. Best if you learn the rules and stop coming across as such an authority. It doesn't make you any friends here, and your present way of reviewing doesn't help anyone, either.
1. Don't tell people how to write. We all have different styles. This is not constructive criticism.
2. This is not slapstick! Yes, we have funny situations that go with the characters. If you read any back chapters, you may have known that. War and separation are not funny matters!
3. Kidney stones can pass in hours. Research before you state something as fact.
4. If you can't keep up or can't say anything helpful, pass the story or poem by rather than attacking.
Here are the rules. Once you read them, you will see you didn't follow them. Your review was not helpful; it was an unjustified attack! Unless you change your ways, please do not review any more of our works.
How To Review
________________________________________
First, decide the number of stars to reward a work and select it.
Next, determine your note to the writer. This should be as detailed as possible.
We recommend the following format:
- First, state what you like.
- Next, state what needs work. If you are offering a lower rating it should be clear as to why.
- End the review with what you like again.
When an author submits a work they need to know what they can do better. So, of course, we point that out. But an author also needs to know what he or she did right. Both are critical to grow as a writer.
Just stating what you don't like can come across as an attack. Pointing out both what you like and what needs work will help the writer.
God Bless,
Bill & Cathy
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Wow, I meant no offense, I sincerely apologize if you were offended. I am shaking right now. I Indicated I had not read previous chapters and said I could be wrong. I thought I was writing in the spirit of the piece. I am so sorry. No, I am not any kind of authority, I was just trying to write reviews. I guess this wasn't meant to be.
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Hi Ann. Everyone makes mistakes, and we all learn from them. Read the review rules and take time to read reviews written by others. It will help you moving forward. We both had originally decided to mute you, but based on your sincere response, we will not. Thank you for that. We look forward to reviewing your writings here. Welcome to FanStory!
Respectfully,
Bill & Cathy
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
WOW. Being pregnant with a kidney stone has to be a "real pain."
I've come to the conclusion that grandpa needs to quiet down once in a while. He seems to get himself in trouble with his chitchat. I hope grandpa hasn't gotten into deep this time. I'm a grandpa and I quit running several years ago.
Still reading.
Robert
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2020
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WOW. Being pregnant with a kidney stone has to be a "real pain."
I've come to the conclusion that grandpa needs to quiet down once in a while. He seems to get himself in trouble with his chitchat. I hope grandpa hasn't gotten into deep this time. I'm a grandpa and I quit running several years ago.
Still reading.
Robert
Comment Written 07-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2020
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Hi Robert! Hope all is well with you. Do you really think Grandpa will ever quiet down? Don't think so! :) Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. Also, for your continuing support. Chapter 24 has just been posted. HURRAH! Stay well and take care. God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Bill & Cathy
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You're welcome.
Grandpa's sounds like me, so no he won't.
