Burnt Wings
A 3-5-3 on passion12 total reviews
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the 3-5-3 Passion writing prompt.
This short verse describes passion as a horse.
Well done and I wish you luck with the contest.
Sharon
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2020
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I think this is a good entry for the 3-5-3 Passion writing prompt.
This short verse describes passion as a horse.
Well done and I wish you luck with the contest.
Sharon
Comment Written 17-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2020
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Hi, Sharon! Thank you, my friend.
Comment from angel123
Your poem is interesting. Thank you for providing your author notes. I am not sure I understand your message. I don't think true passion dies, even if one flys high before it is fully developed. If I understand what you are saying. Best wishes
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2020
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Your poem is interesting. Thank you for providing your author notes. I am not sure I understand your message. I don't think true passion dies, even if one flys high before it is fully developed. If I understand what you are saying. Best wishes
Comment Written 17-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2020
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Angel 123, I love your five stars. Thanks a lot!
Comment from Mia Twysted
I had trouble with the meaning of this piece until I read your notes. Then I took it to mean that Passion that burns bright is fast gone before it gets a chance to fulfill its desire.
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reply by the author on 17-Feb-2020
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I had trouble with the meaning of this piece until I read your notes. Then I took it to mean that Passion that burns bright is fast gone before it gets a chance to fulfill its desire.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2020
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Thank you, Mia, for your comment.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written 3-5-3 passion about the bad side of passion for something that makes us reach too high into the sky and ends up with burnt wings and our passion is not fulfilled
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2020
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A very well-written 3-5-3 passion about the bad side of passion for something that makes us reach too high into the sky and ends up with burnt wings and our passion is not fulfilled
Comment Written 16-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2020
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Thank you, Sandra, for another five-star review.
Comment from Bicpen
Its excellent good imagery with the subject matter good connection of concept and idea with a flowing narrative and endearing sentiment. It has a passion and delivers its theme well. worthy winner.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
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Its excellent good imagery with the subject matter good connection of concept and idea with a flowing narrative and endearing sentiment. It has a passion and delivers its theme well. worthy winner.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
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Thank you very much Bicpen! I hope you are right. That would be the day!
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know the feeling lol good fortune for the competition lol.
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B it is then!
Comment from tfawcus
A 5-7-5 poem that creates a strong image and makes the reader stop, reread, and consider its meaning. So many of these short poems are one-dimensional. Yours provides a multi-layered experience.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
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A 5-7-5 poem that creates a strong image and makes the reader stop, reread, and consider its meaning. So many of these short poems are one-dimensional. Yours provides a multi-layered experience.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
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Tfawcus, that is so kind of you to say! Thank you very much for the five stars.
Comment from Mr.write_4u
I like this one. I think it takes effort to compel the reader to create a vision in his mind. I also can relate to the idea that getting too close can get you burnt if you're not careful. Good luck
Happy writing,
Larry
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
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I like this one. I think it takes effort to compel the reader to create a vision in his mind. I also can relate to the idea that getting too close can get you burnt if you're not careful. Good luck
Happy writing,
Larry
Comment Written 15-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
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Larry, Thank you very much. Those are welcome 5 stars!
Comment from royowen
I would imagine that would be a certainty for a winged steed to get his wings burnt while venturing through the stars. A beautifully written entry in this lune poetry contest, in this 3/5/3 passion contest, well done, good luck,blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
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I would imagine that would be a certainty for a winged steed to get his wings burnt while venturing through the stars. A beautifully written entry in this lune poetry contest, in this 3/5/3 passion contest, well done, good luck,blessings, Roy
Comment Written 15-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
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Roy, many thanks. The 5 stars are more than welcome. Nice review!
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Bless you.
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:)
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B, Ta.
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OK
Comment from rjuselius
This is a beautifully crafted piece of poetry dear anonymous! However your second line has only 4 syllables. I would take care of it straight away so you don't be disqualified.
Thank you for sharing!
Good luck!
blessings and a larger than life hug!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
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This is a beautifully crafted piece of poetry dear anonymous! However your second line has only 4 syllables. I would take care of it straight away so you don't be disqualified.
Thank you for sharing!
Good luck!
blessings and a larger than life hug!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 15-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
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Rebekka, oh I am so glad you saw my error. I meant to write
"flows through the night light". I edited already. Thanks so much!
Comment from moongirlwriter
I love the idea of the white winged horse mixing it up with the stars and they singe his wings. This artwork though, actually detracts from your poem for me. I think it might be a better image without the artwork. :)
Best of luck to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
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I love the idea of the white winged horse mixing it up with the stars and they singe his wings. This artwork though, actually detracts from your poem for me. I think it might be a better image without the artwork. :)
Best of luck to you in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
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Thank you, Moongirl, for the suggestion. I wanted a Pegasus for my burnt wings, but found only this one, with the butterfly wings. I think you are right. Maybe better to remove the artwork here.
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:)
