Heart Cafted Poems - 2020
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Wading in Thought"Musings of an old man -2020
60 total reviews
Comment from Mark Valentine
I like the sound of this one - it's hard to get that kind of rhythm in a 20 word poem. The word choices range from frantic (rushing) to serene (sparkling moonbeams) - just as dreams might. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2020
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I like the sound of this one - it's hard to get that kind of rhythm in a 20 word poem. The word choices range from frantic (rushing) to serene (sparkling moonbeams) - just as dreams might. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2020
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Mark, I am grateful fro your reflection.
Comment from Eve Vasa
I'm reading some lovely verse at FS tonight. This is one of them. Very bubbly, refreshing with a great sense of excitement and movement from all that water imagery. This really worked for me, from the publishing to your carefully chosen words ... and the rhyme doesn't feel forced.
Best of luck in the comp, and thanks for sharing your writing, Eve.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2020
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I'm reading some lovely verse at FS tonight. This is one of them. Very bubbly, refreshing with a great sense of excitement and movement from all that water imagery. This really worked for me, from the publishing to your carefully chosen words ... and the rhyme doesn't feel forced.
Best of luck in the comp, and thanks for sharing your writing, Eve.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2020
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Eve, I delight that you found my piece refreshing, thank you!
Comment from samandlancelot
JLR,
I like your word play with wading upstream and your pulse streams.
You don't share your thoughts, so we can fill in our own. Whatever thoughts they were, we have all experienced the rush of emotions when thoughts intrude on our dreams and awake us.
Patricia
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2020
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JLR,
I like your word play with wading upstream and your pulse streams.
You don't share your thoughts, so we can fill in our own. Whatever thoughts they were, we have all experienced the rush of emotions when thoughts intrude on our dreams and awake us.
Patricia
Comment Written 10-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2020
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I like your reflection Patricia, thank you!
Comment from phill doran
Hello JLR
Don't tell me: you needed the bathroom, right?
Actually, I am sorry to be facetious, but the older I get, the more I dream about the sea, and wake 'under pressure'.
This poem presents in two visual halves - the left hand range of "wading" / "water" / "sparkling" etc and the right hand side "upstream" / "gushing" / "rushing" , which is interesting, as is the rhyme of the rhymes you have selected and used.
20 words is a tight area to pack in a single thought, but you have created something articulate and comprehensive and I trust you will do well in your contest.
I wish you well with your continued writing.
cheers
phill
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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Hello JLR
Don't tell me: you needed the bathroom, right?
Actually, I am sorry to be facetious, but the older I get, the more I dream about the sea, and wake 'under pressure'.
This poem presents in two visual halves - the left hand range of "wading" / "water" / "sparkling" etc and the right hand side "upstream" / "gushing" / "rushing" , which is interesting, as is the rhyme of the rhymes you have selected and used.
20 words is a tight area to pack in a single thought, but you have created something articulate and comprehensive and I trust you will do well in your contest.
I wish you well with your continued writing.
cheers
phill
Comment Written 31-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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Phil, it always amazes me when at a 2:30 AM awaken, whether the call of biologic urgency or a dream space, writing in the stillness of this hour always seems to clear room for a still voice crafting poems, not from the head but from the inner soul.
Comment from giovannimariatommaso
20 word work-through to the end, a happy dream leaving one a little higher. This one is cleaver little ditty, this one and a good usage of words and imagery. giovanni
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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20 word work-through to the end, a happy dream leaving one a little higher. This one is cleaver little ditty, this one and a good usage of words and imagery. giovanni
Comment Written 30-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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Giovanni, thank you for your review and comments. I believe, our dreams are fertile ground from which words flow cosmically from deep within a soul that fall easily to paper.
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JLR Hope all is well! giovanni
Comment from Fonda Little
Love the imagery and your rhyme scheme as on point as well! God bless you In Jesus's Almighty, All Powerful, Divine, Holy, Majestic Name, The Name Above All Names I pray, amen, Amen, AMEN!!!
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Love the imagery and your rhyme scheme as on point as well! God bless you In Jesus's Almighty, All Powerful, Divine, Holy, Majestic Name, The Name Above All Names I pray, amen, Amen, AMEN!!!
Comment Written 30-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Dreams are fertile ground that our conscious and unconscious world meet and give us the opportunity to explore our lives at a very deep level.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Again an exceptional poem that your wrote. Dreams perhaps brings us to the feeling of our face flushing not with water but possibly with embarrassment as to what we are dreaming.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Again an exceptional poem that your wrote. Dreams perhaps brings us to the feeling of our face flushing not with water but possibly with embarrassment as to what we are dreaming.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Rosemary, I am so grateful for you validation, Thank you!
Comment from Miss Cookie Atkinson
I love the artwork you chose to go with your poem, thy are a perfect match.
You captured my attention from the first line to the last fund it to be very moving.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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I love the artwork you chose to go with your poem, thy are a perfect match.
You captured my attention from the first line to the last fund it to be very moving.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Cookie, I am delighted that you enjoyed this poem, Thank you for the validation.
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Your very welcome have a blessed day.
Cookie
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Your very welcome, have a nice day
. cookie
Comment from Raul1
This poem meets the requirements for the contest. I have enjoyed reading this poem. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Good luck in the contest! Nice job.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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This poem meets the requirements for the contest. I have enjoyed reading this poem. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Good luck in the contest! Nice job.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Raul, thank you very much!
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You're welcome. :)
Comment from Mastery
Hi Jim. Excellent poetry here my friend. You have used your twenty words very wisely and the result is a sure-fire winner in my estimation. I liked this in particular: "my pulse streams"
Good luck, my friend. (Good to be back) Bob
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Hi Jim. Excellent poetry here my friend. You have used your twenty words very wisely and the result is a sure-fire winner in my estimation. I liked this in particular: "my pulse streams"
Good luck, my friend. (Good to be back) Bob
Comment Written 30-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Bob, good see you back! I find that dreams are fertile ground that our conscious and unconscious world meet and give us the opportunity to explore our lives at a very deep level.
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Yes
