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Love Long Distance

Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Grandpa's Footprints!-Chapter 18"
A Wartime Romance

26 total reviews 
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi guys. I've read this story earlier, but I believe the co authorship is reviving and adding a special something extra. When it's made into a movie it will be fantastic. The storyline is strong and I like everyone else is enjoying the tribute to Bill's family and life. Great addition to add the female character as it makes it more lifelike. Good luck, looking forward to the next chapter. xoxo Kiwi

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
    Hi Kiwi! Thanks so much for stopping by to read and review this chapter. Thank you also for your support. It means a lot to both of us. Your comments are greatly appreciated. So glad you are enjoying this story. So, you're looking forward to the next chapter? It's just been posted! Enjoy! Wishing you all the best. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from bob cullen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a great writing team you make. This flowed really well. The characters breathe life into the story and the dialogue is first class. I can't wait to read more. Very well written.

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
    Hi Bob! We "SALUTE" You! Your comments here means so much to both of us! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. We're so glad it flowed well, was well written, and the story came to life through the characters for you. HURRAH! Can't wait to read the next chapter? Guess what? It's just been posted! Enjoy! Wishing you all the best. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from Therese Caron
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wonderful chapter! The characters are very endearing in the story itself is very well written. I loved the videos. They added so much. I can't wait to see what comes next!

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
    Hi Therese! So glad you enjoyed the chapter! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing it. Thank you also for pointing out the videos in the notes, also. Can't wait to see what comes next? The waiting is over! Chapter 19 has just been posted. :) Enjoy! Have a wonderful week. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from RShipp
Excellent
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"C'mon, turkey--get in, and let's gobble!" Loved the dialogue!

Using the flashback as you are telling the story seems to working great in the story-line.

I am looking forward to the next installment.

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
    Hi RShipp! Thanks so much for stopping by to read and review this chapter. It means a lot to us, and we're so glad you are enjoying the story. Thank you also for pointing out that you love the dialogue. Chapter 19 has just been posted! HURRAH! Wishing you all the best. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from RPSaxena
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello Bill & Cathy,
Nice piece in continuation having smooth and captivating flow, especially from middle to the end.
The end is working as a hook making me wait curiously for the Chapter 19 which seems to be more interesting.

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
    Hi RPSaxena! So nice of you to stop by. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. Thank you also for your continued support. It means a lot to us! You won't have to wait long for Chapter 19. We just finished writing it, so it will be posted very soon. Stay tuned! Wishing you the best. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
reply by RPSaxena on 30-Jan-2020
    Bill & Cathy, Most Welcome!
    With best wishes,
    ~ RP
Comment from Tina Crute
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Its cool how you switch from character to character and the dialogue fits them exactly and there's no confusion as to who's talking. ( other stories, I have to think...who's talking now?) I hope you all get what I mean. When I can read a story fast, it means its good and I gobble it down. That's what I did with this. I am no professional, but I say this is good! Keep it coming. Whatever you are doing is working!
Tina

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
    Hi Tina! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. Also, for your continued support. We love your comments here! So glad you are enjoying the story and "gobbling" it down. :) Chapter 19 has just been finished and we will be posting it very soon, so stay tuned! Have a great week. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill and Cathy
reply by Tina Crute on 20-Jan-2020
    I will await your next post!
    I am working on another
    project but will stop in
    each day to read a bunch!
    You've got a winner on your
    hands:)
reply by Tina Crute on 20-Jan-2020
    I forgot to tell you...your long
    note was much appreciated!
    I like what I like, and skip what I
    don't like!
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hey, guys!

Wow. What a cliff-hanger. That's not a nice way to leave a post like this. And you two know it -- which is EXACTLY why you did it, I reckon. *smile*

This tale continues to intrigue and beguile. I love the way you two toss so many historical details that make it come to life. Sooooo many things I've forgotten about until you mention them. *smile* I love it.

Here's the thing, though. This particular post, cool as it was, was really filled with nits - which is really UNCOMMON for this particular writing team. I don't know what happened, but maybe some of these notes will help. Hope so, anyway. Here they come:
1.) money to start a family once he returned from the war.... that is, if he returned.
--> only three dots in an ellipsis

2.) The year was 1918, we were in Germany...and ready to kick ass.
--> when the ellipsis is IN BETWEEN two phrases - leave a space on each side, please
--> in Germany ... and ready to kick ass.

3.) able to put on our protective masks(,) yet, others were not.

4.) The bombardment had ceased but I could still feel the rattle in my bones.
--> no punctuation

5.) "Hello.... (h)ow can I help you?"
--> 3 dots
--> I'm not marking anymore, but fix all the issues with ellipses throughout the whole post, please

6.) Now, listen' up...I'll be home before
--> no need for that apostrophe after 'listen'

7.) Greenwich Village beatnik lost in Florida(,)" I said to myself.

8.) "If you ever call me turkey again--it better be on Thanksgiving Day." Now, by the grace of God you're still alive...So, haul ass!"
--> no qmark in the middle of the dialogue

9.) 'Cause we'll be leaving out when the roosters crows at daylight."
--> 'roosters crow' OR 'rooster crows'

That's it. Hope this helps! Keep up that great storyline - better hurry up and take care of our guy! haha






 Comment Written 16-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
    Hi Robyn! First of all, thank you for reading and reviewing this chapter. Also, thank you for your continued support. That being said, if you enjoyed the context, is it really justified to omit a star over 6 "nits" as you call them? Don't read this wrong. We appreciate the grammatical help and encourage it. As I'm sure you are aware, it is a lot of work to put a chapter together, especially with two authors and references in the notes. These are all minor punctuation errors, with the exception of one misplaced "s" at the end of a word. We do our best to review our work thoroughly, but these things can be overlooked, and that is why we need readers and reviews to not only enjoy and comment on our story, but to offer help with these minor adjustments. This is why there are several Beta readers, as well as at least 2 editors needed to put a book together. Even then, things can easily get overlooked. Again, we thank you, and we've fixed the errors. Now, please consider giving us our extra star. We hope you do! Also, continue to help us 'cause we need your expert advice! Wishing you all the best. Chapter 19 is in the works and coming soon. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
reply by robyn corum on 17-Jan-2020
    Hello, again!

    I'm not sure where the communication went wrong here. I am ALWAYS happy to return and re-rate if someone lets me know following a lowered review. In this case, though, you referred to six nits, then there were actually nine - plus several I didn't mark and simply encouraged you to go through and catch yourself (re those crazy ellipses with their strange rules).

    After this note, I'll pop back over and change the rating, no problem.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2020
    Thanks so much, Robyn. Yes, those crazy ellipses! Learning is part of the process, and you've been so helpful. We really appreciate your knowledge and support. Have an awesome day!
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh my! More things go wrong in this story! Now an 18 wheeler out of control. I know Bill will make it. He always does, he has 9 lives. Well done and a fun read. Looking forward to the next. Rox

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
    LOL - Good one, Rox! Yes, Bill has 9 lives (at least)! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. We're glad you found it "well done and a fun read." Chapter 19 is in the works and right around the corner, so stay tuned--it's coming soon. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from susand3022
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

C'mon guys... couldn't we have just had a harrowing time trying to get to grandpa's bedside without the near-death experience? If in fact, it IS a NEAR-death experience... This poor family! How much will they have to take? He's just about there, from a war zone, just to get hit by a semi? (of all things)... I'm shaking my head at this family's crappy luck! What's next for them?... a nice contagious flesh-eating bacteria perhaps? lol
A good story... :)

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
    Hi Susan! Hmm...a flesh-eating bacteria. What a good idea! lol :) Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. We're glad it's a "good story" for you. Yes, lots going on! Let's see what happens next. Chapter 19 is in the works and coming soon. Wishing you all the best. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello Tootie. There's a lot happening in this chapter. Waiting for the baby, grandpa's heart attack are big events. Then by the time we get to the last two paragraphs bill has an 18 wheeler coming at him. You have aligned there that I consider exceptional.
It is the following: "Although the darkness was walking across my eyes." That was a great line that created an image in my minds eye. That is quite good writing.
Robert


 Comment Written 14-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
    Hello Robert! Thanks so much for continuing to read and review our chapters. Your continued support means a lot to us! Thank you also for pointing out the line you found exceptional. All credit goes to Bill for that! (I (Cathy) am honored to co-author with Bill. He's such a great writer!) Glad you enjoyed this chapter. The next one is in the works and coming soon. Yes, lots going on! God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
reply by Robert Zimmerman on 16-Jan-2020
    You're welcome