Hold It In
75 word story contest entry16 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
This shows obsession on the part of the poster. It also shows that the speaker cares less about his family that his writing. I wold want a divorce too, it my husband did this. The husband will not like the way he is treated each time this story is told. It did bring a giggle though.
Congrats on placing third in this contest.
Keep writing
dp
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2020
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This shows obsession on the part of the poster. It also shows that the speaker cares less about his family that his writing. I wold want a divorce too, it my husband did this. The husband will not like the way he is treated each time this story is told. It did bring a giggle though.
Congrats on placing third in this contest.
Keep writing
dp
Comment Written 14-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2020
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Thank you for the great review, Joan. Yeah, this guy was a little self centered. Lol. I really appreciate the generous stars and congrats. I'm glad you had a chuckle at this silliness. That's all I was really going for. have a great day, Joan.
Ron
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DS,
My pleasure
dp
Comment from w.j.debi
You paint a very humorous situation. I think there is one daddy that would be in serious trouble once the baby was born, but I think all the writers who read this can sympathize with wanting to complete and post a work. Well done.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2020
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You paint a very humorous situation. I think there is one daddy that would be in serious trouble once the baby was born, but I think all the writers who read this can sympathize with wanting to complete and post a work. Well done.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2020
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Thank you for the great review and generous stars, WJD. I'm glad you liked this silliness. have a wonderful new year.
Ron
Comment from Justin Chopin
Very funny Dragon. Just the idea of a man being so obsessed with getting a very inane post on Fanstory is joyfully absurd. Well done, adding the nine year old daughter in as a kind of birth monitor was also a nice touch. Great post for the beginning of this new year.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2020
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Very funny Dragon. Just the idea of a man being so obsessed with getting a very inane post on Fanstory is joyfully absurd. Well done, adding the nine year old daughter in as a kind of birth monitor was also a nice touch. Great post for the beginning of this new year.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2020
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Thank you for the excellent review, Justin. I really appreciate the generous stars, friend. I'm glad you liked this silly piece. Have a great and prosperous new year.
Ron
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You're welcome.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This is fun and funny. I smiled all the way through. I love how you used a contest entry to hold you up from helping your wife in labor. That takes it to the extreme, of course, but the point is well taken. This is well written with the dialogue funny and believable. You use your 75 words to their utmost efficiency. Thank you for the humorous start to my day.
Take care, Jesse
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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This is fun and funny. I smiled all the way through. I love how you used a contest entry to hold you up from helping your wife in labor. That takes it to the extreme, of course, but the point is well taken. This is well written with the dialogue funny and believable. You use your 75 words to their utmost efficiency. Thank you for the humorous start to my day.
Take care, Jesse
Comment Written 30-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Thank you for the fantastic review, Jesse. Yeah, I was in one of those moods to write something ridiculous again. Lol. I really appreciate the generous stars, friend. I'm glad you liked this twisted piece. Have a Great New Year.
Ron
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You're very welcome, Ron. It may have been ridiculous, but it was believable, none the less. This shows how obsessed people can get trying to make a contest deadline. Best wishes for a prosperous new year.
Jesse
Comment from Mark D. R.
The title and artwork drew me in.
Apparently, this is just another case of men not listening to their spouse or being in touch with their feelings.
Funny ending caps your fictional piece.
Mark
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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The title and artwork drew me in.
Apparently, this is just another case of men not listening to their spouse or being in touch with their feelings.
Funny ending caps your fictional piece.
Mark
Comment Written 30-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Thank you for the great review and stars, Mark.
Ron
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Humor by exaggeration! We all love our hobbies. Telling the 9-year-old to assist with childbirth sounds like something that would happen in the most desperate of times. This is funny because it magnifies the difference between the way women think and men think also. I assume clicking to post narrowly averts the divorce. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Humor by exaggeration! We all love our hobbies. Telling the 9-year-old to assist with childbirth sounds like something that would happen in the most desperate of times. This is funny because it magnifies the difference between the way women think and men think also. I assume clicking to post narrowly averts the divorce. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Thank you for the fantastic review, Crystie. I doubt his posting averted it though. Lol. I really appreciate the gracious stars. I'm glad you liked this silly piece. have a wonderful New Year.
Ron
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I think there is a severe absence of prioritizing in this family. This is brought to light clearly by the words
"Do you mind? I can't concentrate!"
The whole piece is well-constructed, but I wonder can it really be that each of the two protaganists can only see his own point of view?
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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I think there is a severe absence of prioritizing in this family. This is brought to light clearly by the words
"Do you mind? I can't concentrate!"
The whole piece is well-constructed, but I wonder can it really be that each of the two protaganists can only see his own point of view?
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Haha, yes, he seems to have his priorities in the wrong order. That's for sure. Thank you for the great review and gracious stars, Katherine. Have yourself a wonderful New Year.
Ron
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Seventy five word flash fiction. Writing can be very addictive and nothing can year us away from the pc before the last click to send our poem through to be reviewed.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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A very well-written Seventy five word flash fiction. Writing can be very addictive and nothing can year us away from the pc before the last click to send our poem through to be reviewed.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Thank you for the fantastic review, Sandra. Yes, we love to get our stuff out there. Lol. I really appreciate the generous stars, Sandra. Have a great New Year.
Ron
Comment from Y. M. Roger
LOL!! At least there was the daughter there to help, right... I mean, it wasn't like you just told her to sit and close her legs...! :) :) A fun offering, Ron, although I gotta say, my favorite part of the posting was your disclaimer there at the end...LOL! ;) :) Good luck, sir! :) Yvette
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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LOL!! At least there was the daughter there to help, right... I mean, it wasn't like you just told her to sit and close her legs...! :) :) A fun offering, Ron, although I gotta say, my favorite part of the posting was your disclaimer there at the end...LOL! ;) :) Good luck, sir! :) Yvette
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Thank you for the fantastic review, Yvette. Yeah, I had to get rid of a couple words just so I could get that ending in there. Lol. I dearly appreciate you taking the time review my silliness, Y. Have a wonderful New Year and thank you again.
;)
Ron
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I was going to say that she should have just picked up the nearest object and hit you with it... LOL! ;) Seriously, Ron, you always manage to make me smile, sir, and for that I am so very grateful.... because some of us need more than fluffy pups and rainbows to really smile!! :) :) Take care and keep that pen going in 2020! :) Yvette
Comment from humpwhistle
I do admire dedication. Start a project finish it. Unless it takes nine months to come to fruition. Anyone can be excused for losing interest after all that time.
Solid entry. Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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I do admire dedication. Start a project finish it. Unless it takes nine months to come to fruition. Anyone can be excused for losing interest after all that time.
Solid entry. Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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Lol. Thank you for the great review and stars, Lee. I really appreciate it. I'm glad you liked this silliness. Have a great rest of your weekend.
Ron