Poor Joe
An Onegin Stanza for Potlatch Poetry23 total reviews
Comment from Sugarray77
Slam dunk, Yvonne!! This is very challenging, but you have done an excellent job. The only thing I would mention is maybe using a smaller font so that lines do not bleed over onto the next line. Just a thought. Very well done.
Melissa
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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Slam dunk, Yvonne!! This is very challenging, but you have done an excellent job. The only thing I would mention is maybe using a smaller font so that lines do not bleed over onto the next line. Just a thought. Very well done.
Melissa
Comment Written 06-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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It doesn't appear to bleed over on my screen. Are you looking on an iPad or something similar.
Thank you for such a great review!
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Yes, I am using an IPad. That may be why it is formatted differently.
M
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Well written for sure, but such a downer. I'm sad now just from reading it, even if this isn't a real person. There ARE real people in prison for crimes they didn't commit. DNA is helping to prevent that, but not in every case.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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Well written for sure, but such a downer. I'm sad now just from reading it, even if this isn't a real person. There ARE real people in prison for crimes they didn't commit. DNA is helping to prevent that, but not in every case.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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I'm sorry I made you sad! It's just a story I made up. It's true there are real people unjustly convicted. When I started writing this poem, I had no thought of it going the way it did. I don't usually write sad things.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This seems to fit the form, and thank you for the author notes. It sounds like a narrative that could be the basis for a folk song along the lines of Tom Dooley. I was thinking with these lines: Cheshire grin upon his face,
he'd never learned to win with grace.
I would change the comma there after 'face' to a semi-colon, or possibly a long dash. Interesting form!
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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This seems to fit the form, and thank you for the author notes. It sounds like a narrative that could be the basis for a folk song along the lines of Tom Dooley. I was thinking with these lines: Cheshire grin upon his face,
he'd never learned to win with grace.
I would change the comma there after 'face' to a semi-colon, or possibly a long dash. Interesting form!
Comment Written 05-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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Thank you so much for reviewing.
Comment from Janetsue
This is another excellent posting of a complicated form. I used to be in full time prison ministry and I am empathetic to those who are truly innocent; however, 90% of the inmates say that. Prison is a terrible place to be and I can't figure out why anyone, once they were paroled, would do anything that could sent them back. Prison is even worse for someone wrongly convicted because they know they do not deserve to be behind bars.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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This is another excellent posting of a complicated form. I used to be in full time prison ministry and I am empathetic to those who are truly innocent; however, 90% of the inmates say that. Prison is a terrible place to be and I can't figure out why anyone, once they were paroled, would do anything that could sent them back. Prison is even worse for someone wrongly convicted because they know they do not deserve to be behind bars.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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It happens more often than we think. Very interesting that you were in prison ministry. I'm a Eucharistic Minister, and I've taken Holy Communion to prisons and jails. It's a little disconcerting at first.
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True...but the inmates were always grateful for our Sunday service visits. (Unfortunately, though, a couple of them had to be banned because of making obscene gestures at us from their seats.) It's a troubled world!!
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Very well done. I like this form it kind of sings as it rhymes. A very gruelling experience for anyone to go through. Excellent picture you chose as your art.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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Very well done. I like this form it kind of sings as it rhymes. A very gruelling experience for anyone to go through. Excellent picture you chose as your art.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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Thank you for a great review.
Comment from NickieT
This is an exellentally crafted poem. I found the form and content to be very engaging. Thank you for including the additional information in the notes section!
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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This is an exellentally crafted poem. I found the form and content to be very engaging. Thank you for including the additional information in the notes section!
Comment Written 05-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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Thank you for your time in reviewing.
Comment from Liberty Justice
SIX STARS 6******How sad and unjust how innocent men and women serve time for crimes of others. Your poem flows smoothly with such perfect rhymes. Read Review mine also lolol liberty justice
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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SIX STARS 6******How sad and unjust how innocent men and women serve time for crimes of others. Your poem flows smoothly with such perfect rhymes. Read Review mine also lolol liberty justice
Comment Written 05-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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Thank you for this wonderful review. I really appreciate it. It happens that innocent people are convicted more than one might think.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Excellent. I wish I had a six to give. Your writing deserves it. Joe found out o late that a life without crime is far better than a life of crime. You keep astounding me with your talent.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2019
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Excellent. I wish I had a six to give. Your writing deserves it. Joe found out o late that a life without crime is far better than a life of crime. You keep astounding me with your talent.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2019
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Bless your heart. You make me feel 10 feet tall. How are the two of you doing? Carol in a lot of pain now?
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a sad poem of an innocent man put in jail. Since he was there he couldn't accept it, but finally does in his remembrances. Touching. Your Onegin poem is well composed with good word choices and rhyme. Marilyn
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2019
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This is a sad poem of an innocent man put in jail. Since he was there he couldn't accept it, but finally does in his remembrances. Touching. Your Onegin poem is well composed with good word choices and rhyme. Marilyn
Comment Written 05-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2019
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Thank you, Marilyn. Jan told me you'd been under the weather. So glad you're up and around again.
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UGH!! It was tough, got the flu shot on Monday and was down flat by Thursday. Feeling better now. Thank you. :)
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UGH!! It was tough, got the flu shot on Monday and was down flat by Thursday. Feeling better now. Thank you. :)
Comment from poeandhungry
Wow. Heart-wrenching. As I was reading, I couldn't help but draw comparisons to Shawshank Redemption. And maybe on that fool's errand, I was hoping for some hope. Only to find more despair. But then, as Andy did, he allowed himself to feel those ancient moments, and they seemed to bring him peace, if not hope. Maybe they're one in the same? I love a good story and you've provided that here. Obviously I am incapable of a literary critique, but from an emotional point of view, I say well done.
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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2019
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Wow. Heart-wrenching. As I was reading, I couldn't help but draw comparisons to Shawshank Redemption. And maybe on that fool's errand, I was hoping for some hope. Only to find more despair. But then, as Andy did, he allowed himself to feel those ancient moments, and they seemed to bring him peace, if not hope. Maybe they're one in the same? I love a good story and you've provided that here. Obviously I am incapable of a literary critique, but from an emotional point of view, I say well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2019
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That is good enough for me. That you liked it and felt something is worth a lot to me. Thank you so much.
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You're very welcome. Take care.
