Sorrow's Unveiling
Senryu poetry...10 total reviews
Comment from Mark D. R.
The illustration and verse are in perfect harmony. The coloring selected for background and text match your selected illustration to a 't.'
precious raindrops with mascara - ingenious!
Best wishes for your writing prompt entry.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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The illustration and verse are in perfect harmony. The coloring selected for background and text match your selected illustration to a 't.'
precious raindrops with mascara - ingenious!
Best wishes for your writing prompt entry.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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Ha! Well they say a Senryu poem is supposed to have a twist! LoL!! It was really fun to write! Thanks for reading and your precious comment and I?m so glad that you enjoyed it! xoxo
Comment from M Milles
The artwork paired well with the poem. I felt the sorrow unveiled as the mascara began to run. Nice little poem. I found no grammatical issues. Best of luck!
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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The artwork paired well with the poem. I felt the sorrow unveiled as the mascara began to run. Nice little poem. I found no grammatical issues. Best of luck!
Comment Written 06-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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Ha! This was really a fun one to write. I appreciate that you stop to read it and left me your awesome feedback! xoxo
Comment from lyenochka
Good senryu ending! The poem starts out merging the metaphor of an emotional storm and the raindrops of the eyes. Then it humorously takes us down to earth with the mascara running. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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Good senryu ending! The poem starts out merging the metaphor of an emotional storm and the raindrops of the eyes. Then it humorously takes us down to earth with the mascara running. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 06-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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Thank you very much! I started writing it and then I could just see the mascara running all down her face! LoL! Thanks for taking time to read it and I appreciate your feedback. xoxo
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I expect this is true if the crying is in the rain. I wish you luck with the contest, sorrow can indeed be hard to conceal at times, best wishes, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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I expect this is true if the crying is in the rain. I wish you luck with the contest, sorrow can indeed be hard to conceal at times, best wishes, love Dolly x
Comment Written 05-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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I believe I revamp this just a bit since you read it I added a little twist for the last line making it fit the idea of a Senryu poem better! Thanks much for taking time to read and for leaving me your feedback! xo
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written senryu about crying in the rain where the raindrops hide the tears from others eyes and the sorrows of the heart will start to unveil.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
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A very well-written senryu about crying in the rain where the raindrops hide the tears from others eyes and the sorrows of the heart will start to unveil.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
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Thank you very much for stopping to read and sharing your feedback! xo
Comment from Sallyo
That's clever! Of course, raindrops are like onions; you can always pretend you're NOT crying. I'm always in awe of folk who write these very short forms and make them elegant
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
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That's clever! Of course, raindrops are like onions; you can always pretend you're NOT crying. I'm always in awe of folk who write these very short forms and make them elegant
Comment Written 05-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
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Thank you so much! I appreciate you reading and your precious feedback! xo
Comment from Patty Palmer
So sad. Lying in the rain washing her tears away. Maybe she's depressed r contemplating suicide? So sorry she feels so bad. But, we all get depressed sometimes and a good cry helps take care of the sad feeling!
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
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So sad. Lying in the rain washing her tears away. Maybe she's depressed r contemplating suicide? So sorry she feels so bad. But, we all get depressed sometimes and a good cry helps take care of the sad feeling!
Comment Written 05-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
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Amen! Sometimes the rain can help a great deal in washing the pain away! Thanks for reading and leaving your precious comment! xo
Comment from Nike23
Your poem is compliant with the syllable rules. I like the idea that the rain is hiding the tears of sorrow. I like the use of the word unveiling. Good job.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
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Your poem is compliant with the syllable rules. I like the idea that the rain is hiding the tears of sorrow. I like the use of the word unveiling. Good job.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
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Thank you! I appreciate that you took time to read! Your feedback means alot to me! xo
Comment from LeftHandedScribe
Thank you for fully fleshing out this story with an exquisite piece of art and music that stirs the soul. This is a special piece and I hope you are recognized for it.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019
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Thank you for fully fleshing out this story with an exquisite piece of art and music that stirs the soul. This is a special piece and I hope you are recognized for it.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019
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Thank you so much! I love Yanni and this is my favorite song; the beginning reminds me of falling rain so I thought it perfect for this piece. Your feedback is greatly appreciated and I?m so glad that you enjoy! xoxo
Comment from Cindy Warren
How sad. Love doesn't always work. It helps when you have rain to hide the tears. It's awful when they tell you it's over in a public place. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019
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How sad. Love doesn't always work. It helps when you have rain to hide the tears. It's awful when they tell you it's over in a public place. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019
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Thank you for reading! Sorrow is a painful experience for sure! Appreciate your feedback! xo