Along a Broken Road
A 5 Line Poem38 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Very gray and lonely surroundings for this wounded pshyche. Hopefully the narrow road will lead the speaker onto a wider and more scenic path.
That is a happier and healed one.
Congrats on taking second in the contest.
Keep writing
Joan
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2019
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Very gray and lonely surroundings for this wounded pshyche. Hopefully the narrow road will lead the speaker onto a wider and more scenic path.
That is a happier and healed one.
Congrats on taking second in the contest.
Keep writing
Joan
Comment Written 09-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2019
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Hi Joan... thanks so much for the great review. I really appreciate your comments.
Melissa
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You are most kindly welcome. Melissa
Joan
Comment from Brittany Jeanette
Serious yet hauntingly beautiful. It has a great flow. I particularly enjoyed the rhyme of "grey" and "way", as well as the imagery of "soaked in somber grey" (which gave me chills).
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
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Serious yet hauntingly beautiful. It has a great flow. I particularly enjoyed the rhyme of "grey" and "way", as well as the imagery of "soaked in somber grey" (which gave me chills).
Comment Written 09-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
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Thank you very much, Brittany, for your great review.
Melissa
Comment from lyenochka
This is beautiful, Melissa! It both shows and engenders compassion for those who are wounded in life's harsh and narrow way. Great choices of words with alliteration and rhyme!
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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This is beautiful, Melissa! It both shows and engenders compassion for those who are wounded in life's harsh and narrow way. Great choices of words with alliteration and rhyme!
Comment Written 07-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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Thank you so much, Helen.
Melissa
Comment from Sallyo
That could be taken literally (refugees, a defeated army, homeless during the depression) or figuratively, as in people who are depressed, unhappy or disoriented and so are walking the cold road of their souls
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
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That could be taken literally (refugees, a defeated army, homeless during the depression) or figuratively, as in people who are depressed, unhappy or disoriented and so are walking the cold road of their souls
Comment Written 04-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
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Thank you Sallyo.. I am grateful for your insight on this piece.
Melissa
Comment from l.raven
Hi Melissa, been there...done that sweet girl...
days that just getting out of bed was a job...
I love the wording in this poem...says a lot with so few words...very well written my sweet friend...and the picture says it all...love you...Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019
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Hi Melissa, been there...done that sweet girl...
days that just getting out of bed was a job...
I love the wording in this poem...says a lot with so few words...very well written my sweet friend...and the picture says it all...love you...Linda xxoo
Comment Written 04-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019
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Thank you, sweet Linda, for these lovely words. Hugs!
Melissa
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big hugs back at you...your so very welcome ...always...xxoo
Comment from poetwatch
When you are hot, you are hot! Melissa you churn your pen into the ground and up comes a flower smelling great. :) This is a good entry for the 5 Line poem contest. I can see the spirits walking that road and not knowing where it may lead. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2019
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When you are hot, you are hot! Melissa you churn your pen into the ground and up comes a flower smelling great. :) This is a good entry for the 5 Line poem contest. I can see the spirits walking that road and not knowing where it may lead. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2019
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Hi Jose... I am delighted you liked it and really appreciate your encouraging review, my friend. :)
Melissa
Comment from Mistydawn
This is a very interesting, thought-provoking poem. Your great word choice pants a vivid picture in the reader's mind of a lost soul trying to find their way. Nicely done as always.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2019
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This is a very interesting, thought-provoking poem. Your great word choice pants a vivid picture in the reader's mind of a lost soul trying to find their way. Nicely done as always.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2019
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Hi Misty... thank you!
Melissa
Comment from judester
You create a vivid image of depression in only five lines. 'Through a narrow way' seems to describe the feeling of lack and choices when we feel wounded. Good luck in the contest, cheers, judester
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2019
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You create a vivid image of depression in only five lines. 'Through a narrow way' seems to describe the feeling of lack and choices when we feel wounded. Good luck in the contest, cheers, judester
Comment Written 03-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2019
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Hello there!! Thanks for the great and insightful review!
Melissa
Comment from judiverse
This Is beautifully written, and the presentation suits the somber mood of the poem. For a wounded spirit, the road is always broken, and the atmosphere is grey. We hope these moments will be brief, and that such bounded individuals will find solace. Excellent formatting, and the rhyme makes a great touch. Best of luck in the contest. judi
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2019
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This Is beautifully written, and the presentation suits the somber mood of the poem. For a wounded spirit, the road is always broken, and the atmosphere is grey. We hope these moments will be brief, and that such bounded individuals will find solace. Excellent formatting, and the rhyme makes a great touch. Best of luck in the contest. judi
Comment Written 03-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2019
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Thank you very much, Judi. I really appreciate this insightful review.
Melissa
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You're very welcome. Have an excellent weekend. judi
Comment from CD Richards
Love the atmosphere and the thoughts expressed in this. Super choice of image as well. A perfect match. Excellent use of rhyme, which is an approach not too many have taken, if I recall correctly.
I think this is my favourite of all the pieces of yours I've read, and I wouldn't be surprised to see it win. Good luck!
Craig
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2019
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Love the atmosphere and the thoughts expressed in this. Super choice of image as well. A perfect match. Excellent use of rhyme, which is an approach not too many have taken, if I recall correctly.
I think this is my favourite of all the pieces of yours I've read, and I wouldn't be surprised to see it win. Good luck!
Craig
Comment Written 03-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2019
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Hi Craig. Thank you for the encouraging review and comments. You have made my day!!
Melissa