Her Very Own Piece of History
500-word Flash Fiction Offering from Colonial Williamsburg26 total reviews
Comment from JudyE
Great story with plenty to think about once the end is reached.
I picked up a couple of points:
Cheryl placed the stool behind the checkout counter to closeout her till for the day. - I think 'closeout' should be two words.
In the following: '"Mind if I come with?"' did you mean 'Mind if I come with you?'
Good luck in the contest and have a great day.
Judy
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reply by the author on 18-Jul-2019
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Great story with plenty to think about once the end is reached.
I picked up a couple of points:
Cheryl placed the stool behind the checkout counter to closeout her till for the day. - I think 'closeout' should be two words.
In the following: '"Mind if I come with?"' did you mean 'Mind if I come with you?'
Good luck in the contest and have a great day.
Judy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2019
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Southern U.S. colloquialism: "Can I come with?" "Wanna come with?" :) ;) But thanx for looking out... I did separate the 'closeout'. Thanx for the review and have a great week! ;) Yvette
Comment from Colin John
Hi Yvette , I finally am able to catch up , I gave you six stars as they was a truly kovely write , I did count 501 words though! Just kidding .
Good luck . Kind regards Colin X
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2019
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Hi Yvette , I finally am able to catch up , I gave you six stars as they was a truly kovely write , I did count 501 words though! Just kidding .
Good luck . Kind regards Colin X
Comment Written 17-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2019
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You are the funny man, Sir Colin!! ;) ;) LOL! :) Thanx for stopping in on this fun fiction -- was one of those the blonde just conjured 'out of the blue'!! :) ;) It was fun to tie it to a historical site I visited with my boys when they were younger! ;) ;) Take care! ;) ;) Yvette
Comment from Sankey
Here we go with some more diamonds. I do look forew3ard to more of this if you plan on extending it. Could be interesting. Another chapter of my book is now up hopefully some of you vacationers will check it out.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2019
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Here we go with some more diamonds. I do look forew3ard to more of this if you plan on extending it. Could be interesting. Another chapter of my book is now up hopefully some of you vacationers will check it out.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2019
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Thank you, THANK YOU so very much for such a bright shiny response to my fun fiction! :) I enjoy writing these 'shorties' from 'out of the blue' and I'm so glad there are others that do to!! ;) ;) Thanx for stopping in on this one, sir, and have a wonderful upcoming weekend! ;) ;) Yvette
Comment from LisaMay
Of course the young man's name will be Thomas! (I think I'll start giving lifts to hitch hikers.)
I found this story very enjoyable for 2 reasons. It is well written and engaging, and because I work in a historic home visited by tourists, I found that aspect interesting too.
Query:
"Mind if I come with?"
Is the word 'you' missing here at the end? Sorry about the word count.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2019
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Of course the young man's name will be Thomas! (I think I'll start giving lifts to hitch hikers.)
I found this story very enjoyable for 2 reasons. It is well written and engaging, and because I work in a historic home visited by tourists, I found that aspect interesting too.
Query:
"Mind if I come with?"
Is the word 'you' missing here at the end? Sorry about the word count.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2019
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No word missing, L-M -- it's a Southern United States colloquialism:
"Are you coming with?" or "Can I come with?"
But thanx for having my back, ma'am -- goodness knows that I make careless errors all the time!! ;) :) And I'm so very glad you enjoyed this one -- I had lots of fun trying to make it fit into the 500 word limit once the idea started appearing on the page as I typed.. :) :) LOL! ;) Thanx for the review, ma'am, and have a wonderful weekend ahead! ;) ;) Yvette :)
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for sharing your Flash Fiction against the backdrop of Colonial Williamsburg. The story and the interactions among the characters are intriguing. I especially liked the idea of the bell reappearing at the conclusion. Cheers and best wishes in the contest- Joan
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2019
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Thank you for sharing your Flash Fiction against the backdrop of Colonial Williamsburg. The story and the interactions among the characters are intriguing. I especially liked the idea of the bell reappearing at the conclusion. Cheers and best wishes in the contest- Joan
Comment Written 17-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2019
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Hooray!! ;) ;) I'm so very glad you enjoyed this one!! :) ;) It was one of those that I started and just let the keyboard feed from the imagination!! :) I always have these kinds of things 'pop' into my head when I visit places ... it's a weird, blonde thing...what can I say?! LOL! ;) ;) Thank you again, ma'am, and have a wonderful upcoming weekend!! ;) ;) Yvette
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Thank you for sharing your process--pop away and have a lovely weekend as well- Joan
Comment from Tootsie55
Loved this great story. I am hoping there is more to this and we won't be kept waiting too long like in some other circumstances! A lot of feelings in this as well. No spags.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2019
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Loved this great story. I am hoping there is more to this and we won't be kept waiting too long like in some other circumstances! A lot of feelings in this as well. No spags.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2019
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Hooray!! ;) ;) I'm so very glad you enjoyed this one!! :) ;) It was one of those that I started and just let the keyboard feed from the imagination!! :) I always have these kinds of things 'pop' into my head when I visit places ... it's a weird, blonde thing...what can I say?! LOL! ;) ;) Thank you again, ma'am, and have a wonderful upcoming weekend!! ;) ;) Yvette
