Spend An Hour With Me
Reflecting on love....41 total reviews
Comment from LisaMay
This poem is so beautiful. It looks like it would be very hard to beat in any lyrical contest. I love the image of sand slipping through fingers as a metaphor. Your instructions about the form for writing lyrics are very clear and helpful. I would think people should be able to follow that for their entries... if they can't they shouldn't be in the contest.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2019
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This poem is so beautiful. It looks like it would be very hard to beat in any lyrical contest. I love the image of sand slipping through fingers as a metaphor. Your instructions about the form for writing lyrics are very clear and helpful. I would think people should be able to follow that for their entries... if they can't they shouldn't be in the contest.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2019
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Well thank you so much! The one Paul my referred to was five versus instead of being verse chorus verse chorus verse! So I did not understand it but it didn?t place at all so obviously others thought the same as me anyway! LyndaS had an exquisite one that won and it definitely deserved it! :). xoxo!!!
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I have noticed that LyndaS writes about love very lyrically.
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Yes, She doesn?t write often but really good!!
Comment from Darlene Franklin
I enjoyed this poem, felt the narrator's desire for a deeper friendship and probably more, the other's reluctance, the uncertainties of relationships like sand that flows through your fingers. Good luck with the contest,
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2019
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I enjoyed this poem, felt the narrator's desire for a deeper friendship and probably more, the other's reluctance, the uncertainties of relationships like sand that flows through your fingers. Good luck with the contest,
Comment Written 28-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2019
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Thank you so much for reading and enjoying and for leaving your wonderful comment! I am honored!
Comment from DragonSkulls
Fantastic piece you have entered here in your contest, Diana. Love how you used the rhyme scheme throughout. Plus, I'm glad to see it's one of the few that actually could be considered a song. I don't have anything to add that could make it any better. It's great as is. I wish you luck in the voting. Have a great day.
DS
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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Fantastic piece you have entered here in your contest, Diana. Love how you used the rhyme scheme throughout. Plus, I'm glad to see it's one of the few that actually could be considered a song. I don't have anything to add that could make it any better. It's great as is. I wish you luck in the voting. Have a great day.
DS
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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Thank you! I was wondering about a few myself as really following the actual structure of the contest. I am happy to know I?m not alone in my thinking! Your message is greatly appreciated :)
Comment from Darlene BoClair
I enjoy reading your poem. It humbly reads like the lyrical poetry from a great songwriter. I love the lines that resonate the chorus of a hymn that followed the structure. I like the honor you awarded your friend.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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I enjoy reading your poem. It humbly reads like the lyrical poetry from a great songwriter. I love the lines that resonate the chorus of a hymn that followed the structure. I like the honor you awarded your friend.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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Thank you so much! I am new here and I appreciate your taking time to stop and review! So glad you enjoyed!
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Diana, I too am new. I love reading poetry. I have not written any poems, yet I support the poetry of others.
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How wonderful of you! My reviewer nominations do not renew until 6/30 so please stop again so that I can honor you for being an awesome supporter!
Comment from diamondbogle
I really liked this. It flowed well and I didn't see any mistakes. I like how I got a clear image in my head of what I believed was happening. Overall very well done.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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I really liked this. It flowed well and I didn't see any mistakes. I like how I got a clear image in my head of what I believed was happening. Overall very well done.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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Thank you! I appreciate your time and review! I am new here so feedback means a lot to me! xoxo
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
I'm sure you have met the criteria. It is such a gentle and evocative poem. It portrays the beginnings and the desire for a lasting friendship as the love behind the words flashes through. The promise is so gentle.
Good luck.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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I'm sure you have met the criteria. It is such a gentle and evocative poem. It portrays the beginnings and the desire for a lasting friendship as the love behind the words flashes through. The promise is so gentle.
Good luck.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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Thank you so much for reading and spending your precious time commenting! Really look forward to this contest playing out! I don?t see much lyrical work so will be interesting to see some come out of these talented writers! xoxo
Comment from Sally Law
I love this Diana, it is beautifully penned. Friendship and developing love is a rare treasure and precious time spent together is gold. All my best and in the contest,
Sal xo
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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I love this Diana, it is beautifully penned. Friendship and developing love is a rare treasure and precious time spent together is gold. All my best and in the contest,
Sal xo
Comment Written 23-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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Did my reply go through as it is not showing up on my side. If not please know that your feedback is cherished! I?m very excited for this contest to play out since I don?t see much lyrical work here! xoxo
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You are most welcome, Diana. Sal xo
Comment from DR DIP
Wow I so wish I could play guitar and wasn't tone deaf. Do you have a tune to go with this as well? The more you read it the more a tune comes to you Well done Diana.
dip
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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Wow I so wish I could play guitar and wasn't tone deaf. Do you have a tune to go with this as well? The more you read it the more a tune comes to you Well done Diana.
dip
Comment Written 23-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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:) No unfortunately I am not musically talented enough to compose one, but I wish one day I can find a musician who can set music to it! Thanks for reading!!!!
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i am the same i have revisited a lot of my poems and have put choruses to them where i feel they may work as lyrics
I only discovered poetry 9 years ago but I am making up for lost time I have written over 4700 poems in that time since and still enjoy writing every night
Your style of writing really resonates with me There are several wonderful thyming poets on this site whose work I love to read without missing some very talented names may I suggest you check out Dolly's poems, Dean Kuch, Miss merri, Mystic angel, Jsavell, spiritual echo, sarkems, Susan john, DJ saxon and clost poet jester that is just to name but a few favourites but if I am remiss of missing names here I apologize.
Fanstory is a wonderful platform to share your work and you will certainly meet many talented wordsmiths who never promote their work.
I'll let you discover for yourself the journey is a lot of fun
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OMG! I have been writing only on and off for over 40 years as inspiration allowed. Until I found this site, I had only submitted to a few contest back in the 80s and have published in some collections and anthologies but kind of gave up on that back then. Then one day I decided to go looking for some contest and found this site and I am so glad that I did. The feedback just since May 31st has been incredible. Several of the riders that you note are already in my Fanbase and I?m already fans of theirs so I?ll go and look at the other ones too! Thank you for all your precious help and suggestions!
Comment from Sandra Elizabeth Williams
This is a very good lyrical poem, one that speaks to a real kind of interface between lovers. The repetition makes it effective and I love the font you have used.
Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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This is a very good lyrical poem, one that speaks to a real kind of interface between lovers. The repetition makes it effective and I love the font you have used.
Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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Thank you I appreciate your kind support!
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You are most welcome!
Comment from Gail Denham
A nice friendship song/poem. Have you tried to put this to music? It sounds as if the lyrics would work well - and it has a good message - of encouragement and friendship.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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A nice friendship song/poem. Have you tried to put this to music? It sounds as if the lyrics would work well - and it has a good message - of encouragement and friendship.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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Thank you I appreciate your kind support! I am not musically talented enough to set it to music but I?d love to find someone who could!
