Reviews from

Gaudeamus Igitur

Rondeau Redouble

22 total reviews 
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Congrats on the win with this one Steve, a great read, and, of course, well rhymed. Unfortunately I could see myself in a lot of these humourous verses. Your repeated lines all worked well, great write.
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 28-Feb-2019
    Thanks, Valda. Many reviewers have expressed a similar sentiment, so we are not alone, if that's any consolation!

    Steve
Comment from livelylinda
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

kiwisteveh: Congratulations on your contest win! Being on the way to 71 this year, I understand and agree with you totally. I've had to stop driving, etc., etc. You solidly beat me in this contest. Mine was rhyming, had alliteration, bla, bla, bla, but yours was so much more complex. Also, congratulations on your first book . . .rather like having a baby isn't it?? Linda

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 26-Feb-2019
    Thanks, Linda. You have a few years on me, so I hope the 'lively' still applies. I am starting to feel my age, though still working part-time. The poem was partly inspired by the girl at the checkout of the hardware store volunteering to carry my goods to the car for me. Yikes! I must look old and feeble.

    Steve
Comment from Stephanie Launiu
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Bravo. You certainly deserved winning the Rhyming Contest with your Rondeau Redouble. Your rhyming and meter were flawless. And the subject matter and wry humor are hitting closer to home each day for me. Congratulations on a well-written piece.

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 26-Feb-2019
    Thanks, Steph.

    The poem was partly inspired by the girl at the checkout of the hardware store volunteering to carry my goods to the car for me.

    Steve
Comment from mrsmajor
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level


Steve,

You're not going to believe this, but I have been working on a poem using the same form and about the pleasure of aging...it takes a lot of thought, and work to complete one of these poems, I've done it before, and this one is so well written...Rhyming not at all forced, and the essence of the piece is just about life, something we all can identify with.

I enjoyed this 6 star poem very much, thanks for sharing this with us...You did a heck of a job...

Warmly,
Victoria

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 26-Feb-2019
    Thanks, Victoria, and good luck with your poem. I have always found the trick with these is to choose the rhymes wisely. I actually struggled with this one and nearly gave up because there aren't that many rhymes for 'steeper'.

    And yes, guess what, nearly everyone who has reviewed this can relate to the idea of ageing.

    Steve
reply by mrsmajor on 26-Feb-2019

    You're quite welcome, Steve, It was a pleasure...I'm still working on my poem, and the choice of rhyming words is most important...its been the cause of my changing and starting anew...But when you get it right you're on the road to completion,

    Yep old age, has hit many of us...and eventually all of us have to meet up with that idea...me, it seems I've been old forever...lol

    Warmly,
    Victoria
Comment from Joy Graham
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Steve,

This rondeau redouble is pure delight :) I love your theme, and can feel my own grumpiness about growing old. Dirty old man scared away the helpful lassie by wanting to, "keep her". Your rhymes are terrific and add to the fun of the piece.

I haven't tried a rondeau redouble in a while, but yours makes me think I should try it again. You show how a skilled poet can make this poetry form look easy and appealing. With a fine example as this one, how could I go wrong? Oh, "I go wrong" seems to be the song of my people these days. Ugh.

Congratulations on winning this contest. You appear to have grabbed that first place ribbon with no resistance. Thise Borg people say, "resistance is futile". You have proven that here. Excellent poem.

Joy xx

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 26-Feb-2019
    Thanks, Joy. The rhymes are both the blessing and the curse for this form. The night before the deadline I was ready to throw this away because I just could not see how to sensibly fit in the very few words that rhyme with 'steeper'. Now I'm glad I perevered!

    An yes, choosing a theme that nearly everyone can relate to is always a good idea.

    Steve
Comment from geetha silvaratnam
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow, this really rhymes so well and it has a very good flow too. I really enjoyed reading your poem, Steve. The artwork used is just so perfect for this. Congratulations on winning 1st prize....

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 26-Feb-2019
    Thanks, Geetha.

    When I first started on FanStory I was too scared to even enter these site contests, but I've won a few now, which says something for the improvement in my writing...

    Steve
reply by geetha silvaratnam on 27-Feb-2019
    Wow this is truly inspiring, Steve! You've come a long way indeed. You must have put in a lot of effort, so well deserved !
    Cheers,
    Geetha
Comment from Contests

Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry.

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 26-Feb-2019
    Thank you!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I can understand this poem. I turned 65 last month. Not a good thing, LOL We all grow older. Your contest entry rhymed well and the rhythm flowed smoothly. This is a good write. Good luck.

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
    Thanks, Barbara. I have a couple of years on you! On the wrong side of you, I mean!

    Steve
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is an excellent, skillfully-written poem! I can relate to its message. Stairs
I used to run up and down just a year ago, I now take slowly. Good blend of
literal and figurative language

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
    Thanks, Janice. Most of my reviews seem to be coming from old folks! I guess most of us can relate.

    Steve
Comment from dragonpoet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a well done poem in its form. It is witty and a true image of growing older and how it makes you remember all the things you used to do and now can't or won't. I like the use of 'fifty shades of grey' to allude to the fact that the speaker may be a dirty old man.

Good luck and keep writing.

Joan

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
    Thanks, Joan. This actually sprang from an incident this week where the checkout girl at the hardware store carried my goods out to the car for me. One of those 'uh-oh, I'm getting old' moments.

    Steve
reply by dragonpoet on 23-Feb-2019
    You're most kindly welcome. You mean she doesn't do it for all her handsome male customers.

    Joan