A Love That Wasn't
when love jumps out of the window...50 total reviews
Comment from country ranch writer
Nice picture for the work up for your poem. Sometimes relationships end up going nowhere. It just wasn't meant to be for some reason or another.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Nice picture for the work up for your poem. Sometimes relationships end up going nowhere. It just wasn't meant to be for some reason or another.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Thanks for the five stars. Pardon for more than a year delayed reply. I have stopped writing in this site for more than a year. God bless.
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Where you you been writing besides here?😖
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I just stopped writing and focused on homely, mundane things.
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💩😷😷😷😷😷😷stick wound on FS okay
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💩😷😷😷😷😷😷stick wound on FS okay
Comment from McMurry903
Strong Imagery in 5-7-5 format. An all too common sad tale brought forth vividly in this piece. Good choice of photo to accompany. Good luck in the contest.
I enjoyed!
-Brian
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Strong Imagery in 5-7-5 format. An all too common sad tale brought forth vividly in this piece. Good choice of photo to accompany. Good luck in the contest.
I enjoyed!
-Brian
Comment Written 12-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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I have been absent for more than a year in this site hence my very delayed reply. Thanks a lot for the five stars.
Comment from WildWithWords
Short and very sad, Nassus.
Two lost dreams I would identify as the loss of a yearned-for unending love (from Line 1) plus the failure of a husband to live up to expectations held by his woman (from Line 2 and the lack of a goodbye kiss).
Unless the word "unborn" has specific relevance/importance to you I'd suggest you consider one change....
lukewarm thoughts of love
his goodbye kiss forgotten
two dreams UNFULFILLED
Just a thought.
Bill (WildWithWords)
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Short and very sad, Nassus.
Two lost dreams I would identify as the loss of a yearned-for unending love (from Line 1) plus the failure of a husband to live up to expectations held by his woman (from Line 2 and the lack of a goodbye kiss).
Unless the word "unborn" has specific relevance/importance to you I'd suggest you consider one change....
lukewarm thoughts of love
his goodbye kiss forgotten
two dreams UNFULFILLED
Just a thought.
Bill (WildWithWords)
Comment Written 11-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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I have absent in this site for more than a year, hence my very delayed reply. Thanks a lot for the five stars.
Comment from zanya
Yes and the terrible sadness that accompanies the loss of a potential aptly portrayed here especially in the tone of the 5-7-5 poem - a distinct sense of finale
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Yes and the terrible sadness that accompanies the loss of a potential aptly portrayed here especially in the tone of the 5-7-5 poem - a distinct sense of finale
Comment Written 11-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Been absent in this site for a year and a half hence my very delayed reply. Thanks for the five stars.
Comment from Helena Frances
Great picture to express the quiet last breath of love--it doesn't always go out with a bang. Its exit caught me by surprise, but life gets better with new dreams:)
Good 5-7-5 format.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Great picture to express the quiet last breath of love--it doesn't always go out with a bang. Its exit caught me by surprise, but life gets better with new dreams:)
Good 5-7-5 format.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Been absent in this site for a year and a half hence my very delayed reply. Thanks for the five stars.
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I'm irregular in my attendance, also-- nice chance to reread your entry
--hope you've had 18 months of growth:)
Peace!
Comment from Cindy McIntyre
Hmmm...yes, that moment when "it's me and not you, really means it's 'us.'" I loved your use of the word lukewarm, and then the word choice, "dreams unborn." Very powerful way to describe a doomed love affair. Good luck in the 5-7-5 contest. You have a solid entry that is formatted nicely.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Hmmm...yes, that moment when "it's me and not you, really means it's 'us.'" I loved your use of the word lukewarm, and then the word choice, "dreams unborn." Very powerful way to describe a doomed love affair. Good luck in the 5-7-5 contest. You have a solid entry that is formatted nicely.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Been absent in this site for a year and a half hence my very delayed reply. Thanks for the five stars.
Comment from LIJ Red
Sometimes`wisdom overcomes lust and folly. Ah, a whole world of people and it really only takes one...takes some searching and a lot of false starts to get the results you need...excellent entry for the five /seven/five contest...
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Sometimes`wisdom overcomes lust and folly. Ah, a whole world of people and it really only takes one...takes some searching and a lot of false starts to get the results you need...excellent entry for the five /seven/five contest...
Comment Written 11-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Been absent in this site for a year and a half hence my very delayed reply. Thanks for the five stars.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
If it stops before it starts then it saves a whole lot of heartache afterwards! Your words are poignant and clever, I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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If it stops before it starts then it saves a whole lot of heartache afterwards! Your words are poignant and clever, I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 11-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Been absent in this site for a year and a half hence my very delayed reply. Thanks for the five stars.
Comment from Hugh McDowell
Excellent. Lukewarm thought of love, great line. I wish I had thought of this. The forgotten goodbye kiss and the two dreams unborn complete this sad theme. Love becomes an afterthought. Not even a burning cinder but slightly warm piece of charcoal. Very well written and expressed. Hugh
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Excellent. Lukewarm thought of love, great line. I wish I had thought of this. The forgotten goodbye kiss and the two dreams unborn complete this sad theme. Love becomes an afterthought. Not even a burning cinder but slightly warm piece of charcoal. Very well written and expressed. Hugh
Comment Written 11-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Been absent in this site for a year and a half hence my very delayed reply. Thanks for the five stars
Comment from Dean Kuch
Yeah, ya got that right at least, Susan.
If a relationship becomes one-sided, for example (and most eventually do), then one or the other of the parties is gonna get hurt.
That's why I so often say that love is merely a myth, at least as it pertains to loving just one woman.
Friends with benefits--that's all I need.
Happy Holidays to you & yours,
~Dean
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Yeah, ya got that right at least, Susan.
If a relationship becomes one-sided, for example (and most eventually do), then one or the other of the parties is gonna get hurt.
That's why I so often say that love is merely a myth, at least as it pertains to loving just one woman.
Friends with benefits--that's all I need.
Happy Holidays to you & yours,
~Dean
Comment Written 11-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Been absent in this site for a year and a half hence my very delayed reply. Thanks for the five stars.