Shattered Aspirations
The damage of one small word...25 total reviews
Comment from BelieveInTruthAndGood
This is a very well written poem and very true. Sometimes one has to live through it to really understand the meaning of your words. I really love how your used the words render...ill-spoken...naught. Solid piece of work.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018
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This is a very well written poem and very true. Sometimes one has to live through it to really understand the meaning of your words. I really love how your used the words render...ill-spoken...naught. Solid piece of work.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018
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Thank you for your wonderful comments - it seems that to lie is a bit too easy for the human spirit sometimes and even the little ones can have such a big impact on one or more lives...even collaterally. Didn't have a specific incident feed this write, have just seen so much of it among the high schoolers I teach as well as among their parents....it can get pretty toxic sometimes. We'll just be sure to keep an eye on each other ? the truth is a great standard to live by, yeah?! :) :) Thank you again for those wonderful stars! You be sure to take good care and have a wonderful week ahead of sunshine and rainbows! :) ;) Yvette :)
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Yes, always by the truth! :) Thank you, have a wonderful rest of the week yoursel!
Comment from Bill Schott
This four-line poem, Shattered Aspirations, points to the undoing force that shears bounds by eliminating the strength of truth which holds all things together.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2018
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This four-line poem, Shattered Aspirations, points to the undoing force that shears bounds by eliminating the strength of truth which holds all things together.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2018
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Thanx for stopping in, Bill - always appreciate your taking the time! :) :) And you are so right about truth being a bond....it just seems that to lie is a bit too easy for the human spirit sometimes and even the little ones can have such a big impact on one or more lives...even collaterally. Didn't have a specific incident feed this write, have just seen so much of it among the high schoolers I teach as well as among their parents....it can get pretty toxic sometimes. You be sure to take good care and have a wonderful weekend of sunshine and rainbows! :) ;) Yvette :)
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I taught high school as well. Students think that we are as gullible as their peers, whom they lie to with shameless abandon. There is no concern for integrity at that age. They have few instances when their lying has detrimental effects for them personally.
Comment from Six-Star Writer
"Dreams broken," and "Words ill-spoken." Seemed trite and not very original, but I gave it three stars for the cadence. Plus, I need member points and fake cash.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2018
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"Dreams broken," and "Words ill-spoken." Seemed trite and not very original, but I gave it three stars for the cadence. Plus, I need member points and fake cash.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2018
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reply
Comment from dragonpoet
Congrats on the contest win. It tells the truth about what lies are and how much harm they cause. Interesting piece of artwork used to illustrate the poem.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018
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Congrats on the contest win. It tells the truth about what lies are and how much harm they cause. Interesting piece of artwork used to illustrate the poem.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 30-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018
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Thank you for your wonderful comments, dragonpoet! :) :) And it seems that to lie is a bit too easy for the human spirit sometimes and even the little ones can have such a big impact on one or more lives...even collaterally. Didn't have a specific incident feed this write, have just seen so much of it among the high schoolers I teach as well as among their parents....it can get pretty toxic sometimes. You be sure to take good care and have a wonderful weekend of sunshine and rainbows! :) ;) Yvette :)
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Don't mention it. Yes, high school gossip can cause a lot of pain as does bullying. I think it is envy among both students and parents.
Joan
Comment from Contests
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018
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 A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry. |
Comment Written 30-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018
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Gonna be a great week with a big smile!! :) :) Yvette
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This has a very interesting, and intriguing artwork, to represent "Shattered Aspirations." I like the presentation, along with the artwork, the colors used for the letters and background, are effective. I like the first word, "Lies..." set in larger lettering and in bold. The last line is in smaller lettering, and I wonder why? I love the middle two lines with meaningful phrases, and with the nice rhymes. I like the idea of dreams rendered broken, with words ill-spoken. A great way to send the message that lies are damaging. Well done and thought-provoking.
Take care, Jesse
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2018
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This has a very interesting, and intriguing artwork, to represent "Shattered Aspirations." I like the presentation, along with the artwork, the colors used for the letters and background, are effective. I like the first word, "Lies..." set in larger lettering and in bold. The last line is in smaller lettering, and I wonder why? I love the middle two lines with meaningful phrases, and with the nice rhymes. I like the idea of dreams rendered broken, with words ill-spoken. A great way to send the message that lies are damaging. Well done and thought-provoking.
Take care, Jesse
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2018
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Glad this write has you wondering, Jesse -- I do so very much enjoy your reviews as you take the time to actually think through them...so many do not these days, it seems. :) :) It seems that to lie is a bit too easy for the human spirit sometimes and even the little ones can have such a big impact on one or more lives...even collaterally. Didn't have a specific incident feed this write, have just seen so much of it among the high schoolers I teach as well as among their parents....it can get pretty toxic sometimes. You be sure to take good care and have a wonderful week ahead of sunshine and rainbows! :) ;) Yvette :)
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Hi Yvette
I am so glad you find value in my reviews. I do think them over before I review them. It surprises me that others don't. I see what you are saying about the High schoolers you teach, and even their parents lie! Not a good example to set for their teenagers, I believe. Toxic is an excellent word to use, for the lies that people pass on to each other. My week ahead is going to be partly sunny, but also rainy, at times. I enjoy both weather conditions. I enjoy the outdoors and breathing the fresh air, and seeing the evergreens, where I live. I wish you a wonderful week, as well.
Jesse
Comment from poetwatch
Very good Yvette. Lies once spoken grow to be a chain that drags you down, for they get bigger and bigger. This is a very good entry for the Four Line Poem contest. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
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Very good Yvette. Lies once spoken grow to be a chain that drags you down, for they get bigger and bigger. This is a very good entry for the Four Line Poem contest. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
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Thank you for your wonderful comments and encouragement, poetwatch - it seems that to lie is a bit too easy for the human spirit sometimes and even the little ones can have such a big impact on one or more lives...even collaterally. Didn't have a specific incident feed this write, have just seen so much of it among the high schoolers I teach as well as among their parents....it can get pretty toxic sometimes. You be sure to take good care and have a wonderful weekend of sunshine and rainbows! :) ;) Yvette :)
Comment from Kelly Grim
Love this, Yvette! First, I do so love your presentation (I'm too scared to move my lines about the way you do!). Second, I love your choice of words... render, and dreams broken and words ill-spoken are great, and I love the rhyme!!! And then there's something great about your last line... the L sounds at the beginning of the line, and then the word "naught" !has an old fashioned feel! Lastly, very true message about the damage caused by lies! Excellent entry! I wish you the best of luck!!! -Kelly
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
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Love this, Yvette! First, I do so love your presentation (I'm too scared to move my lines about the way you do!). Second, I love your choice of words... render, and dreams broken and words ill-spoken are great, and I love the rhyme!!! And then there's something great about your last line... the L sounds at the beginning of the line, and then the word "naught" !has an old fashioned feel! Lastly, very true message about the damage caused by lies! Excellent entry! I wish you the best of luck!!! -Kelly
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
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Thank you for all of your wonderful comments, Kelly -- your time is certainly appreciated. :) ;) It seems that to lie is a bit too easy for the human spirit sometimes and even the little ones can have such a big impact on one or more lives...even collaterally. Didn't have a specific incident feed this write, have just seen so much of it among the high schoolers I teach as well as among their parents....it can get pretty toxic sometimes. You be sure to take good care and have a wonderful weekend of sunshine and rainbows! :) ;) Yvette :)
Comment from donette1914
wow you have a wonderful shot to win simply outstanding
the words flow smoothly
I feel your an outstanding writer
it is such a pleasure to read your work
thank you for sharing and I hope for the best in the contest
donette1914 oct 26 2018
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
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wow you have a wonderful shot to win simply outstanding
the words flow smoothly
I feel your an outstanding writer
it is such a pleasure to read your work
thank you for sharing and I hope for the best in the contest
donette1914 oct 26 2018
Comment Written 26-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
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Thank you for your wonderful comments, donette - it seems that to lie is a bit too easy for the human spirit sometimes and even the little ones can have such a big impact on one or more lives...even collaterally. Didn't have a specific incident feed this write, have just seen so much of it among the high schoolers I teach as well as among their parents....it can get pretty toxic sometimes. You be sure to take good care and have a wonderful weekend of sunshine and rainbows! :) ;) Yvette :)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A resonating write Yvette and life can on occasions be shattered and leave us bereft with just the broken pieces and I have been there on occasions, I could identify with your words and I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
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A resonating write Yvette and life can on occasions be shattered and leave us bereft with just the broken pieces and I have been there on occasions, I could identify with your words and I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 26-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
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Thank you for your wonderful comments, Dolly - it seems that to lie is a bit too easy for the human spirit sometimes and even the little ones can have such a big impact on one or more lives...even collaterally. Didn't have a specific incident feed this write, have just seen so much of it among the high schoolers I teach as well as among their parents....it can get pretty toxic sometimes. We'll just be sure to keep an eye on each other ? the truth is a great standard to live by, yeah?! :) :) You be sure to take good care and have a wonderful weekend of sunshine and rainbows! :) ;) Yvette :)