Decision Time
Whom Can You Trust in This Short Life?33 total reviews
Comment from djsaxon
I have a confession. I had forgotten how strong your pen was. Your fault. You were away for so long. I love this. The imagery is potent and economic. Great to have you back in my world - DJ
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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I have a confession. I had forgotten how strong your pen was. Your fault. You were away for so long. I love this. The imagery is potent and economic. Great to have you back in my world - DJ
Comment Written 30-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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Thank you for reading. I had some fun with that one. One publisher on Medium turned it down saying it was too suicidal. I had to point out that it was a freaking curb! She stuck to her guns, though.
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When did we ever listen to critics? :-)
Comment from Dawn Munro
I think hyphenated words confuse some of the judges. (lol) A hyphenated word is still just ONE word. (duh)
One of my favorite stories was disqualified for being over, and the thing is, not only did they get the word count wrong, it was for a contest limit of 750 words = 10x this one. (That's a hell of a lot of counting by hand, yet I did, as well as the usual WP counters.) We were allowed between 748 and 752, and mine was exact.
I'm still pissed over that one. Good story, Jay. Congratulations on placing.
Lesson learned: FS contests -KISS (lol) There are some who just don't know, methinks.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
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I think hyphenated words confuse some of the judges. (lol) A hyphenated word is still just ONE word. (duh)
One of my favorite stories was disqualified for being over, and the thing is, not only did they get the word count wrong, it was for a contest limit of 750 words = 10x this one. (That's a hell of a lot of counting by hand, yet I did, as well as the usual WP counters.) We were allowed between 748 and 752, and mine was exact.
I'm still pissed over that one. Good story, Jay. Congratulations on placing.
Lesson learned: FS contests -KISS (lol) There are some who just don't know, methinks.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
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Thanks, Dawn. My, you dug deep for this one. I appreciate your reading it.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
The written verbal gymnastics we have to go through for a specific count. Then have it make sense. You did it. You have a good introduction leaving the reader on the edge along with the speaker. The imagery in the middle is graphic. You have also used the literary technique of onomatopoeia well. The end of a tongue-in-cheek humor, one of my favorite styles of humor. Well done.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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The written verbal gymnastics we have to go through for a specific count. Then have it make sense. You did it. You have a good introduction leaving the reader on the edge along with the speaker. The imagery in the middle is graphic. You have also used the literary technique of onomatopoeia well. The end of a tongue-in-cheek humor, one of my favorite styles of humor. Well done.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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Thank you. My, you dug deep for that one. It went all the way back to October 2018. I remember it well, though. Fun to write. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Very good. With an unexpected twist at the end. That sounds like my pest control. They drive around in Volkswagons with mouse ears on top and a mouse tail on the trunk. I think they only thing they kill is my wallet.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2018
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Very good. With an unexpected twist at the end. That sounds like my pest control. They drive around in Volkswagons with mouse ears on top and a mouse tail on the trunk. I think they only thing they kill is my wallet.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2018
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That's too funny, Thomas. VW Mouse. I wish I'd thought of that!
Comment from Bill Schott
This seventy-five word story, Decision Time, pulls the reader away from the ledge and into the world of ineffective insect control. Before this leads to further acts of 'defy-ants' I suggest a sprinkling of borax. Ants will die on contact.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2018
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This seventy-five word story, Decision Time, pulls the reader away from the ledge and into the world of ineffective insect control. Before this leads to further acts of 'defy-ants' I suggest a sprinkling of borax. Ants will die on contact.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2018
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You funny as usual Except with the Borax suggestion. I'll have to give that a try. Thanks, Bill. Good to see you're still here.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Jay, good to see you back. I'm late with this but thought I would give it a comment. Great twist at the end. Tough to pay all that money to get rid of the ants, and then they are still there. Thought ants were more an indoor pest. LOL. Good luck. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2018
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Hi Jay, good to see you back. I'm late with this but thought I would give it a comment. Great twist at the end. Tough to pay all that money to get rid of the ants, and then they are still there. Thought ants were more an indoor pest. LOL. Good luck. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 28-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2018
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If you lived in Bakersfield, you'd know they're not just indoors. Thanks so much for your read and your kind words.
Comment from oorwull
Great! Loved it, understood it on the third reading. Yes , pest control costs are out of this world. Should have bought some raid from Home Depot. No, don't do that,
it's too expensive!
Willie
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
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Great! Loved it, understood it on the third reading. Yes , pest control costs are out of this world. Should have bought some raid from Home Depot. No, don't do that,
it's too expensive!
Willie
Comment Written 26-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
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Thank you so much oorwull. Glad you enjoyed this.
Comment from Mabaker
Hi Jay, you did a great job getting a story in 75 words. And it had meaning. Felt sorry for the ants though.
Hope you win the contest.All the best Anne
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2018
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Hi Jay, you did a great job getting a story in 75 words. And it had meaning. Felt sorry for the ants though.
Hope you win the contest.All the best Anne
Comment Written 25-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2018
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Bless you, Anne. I'm glad you enjoyed reading this bit of fluff. I did have fun with it. Thank you for your well-wishes.
Comment from F. Wehr3
Lol, Jay, your word count is fine. I use Microsoft word and it has yet to fail me. Nice to see you posting again. I enjoyed what you were setting up in this story, but I didn't get the pest control comment. I know they're ants and it wasn't but a small drop, but where is he? Gutter implies he's outside, right? Possibly. it's too early and I need another cup of coffee. Hope you're doing well and Good luck in the contest.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2018
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Lol, Jay, your word count is fine. I use Microsoft word and it has yet to fail me. Nice to see you posting again. I enjoyed what you were setting up in this story, but I didn't get the pest control comment. I know they're ants and it wasn't but a small drop, but where is he? Gutter implies he's outside, right? Possibly. it's too early and I need another cup of coffee. Hope you're doing well and Good luck in the contest.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 25-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2018
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Hi, Russell. Good to hear from you, and yes it's good to be back, in kinda an unofficial capacity. I've got until January to decide if I want to renew my membership or not.
Yeah, get another cup of coffee. LOL, The sixty bucks was what he paid the pest control to supposedly get rid of the ants, though, I've never seen anyone call Pest Control to get rid of ants in the gutter. It's usually inside. But it would be stretching credibility to have him standing on the ledge of his kitchen sink.
What I thought was funny was that two or three people called it a poem. I think because I tried to stretch it out as much as I could so their eyes wouldn't drift down to the punch-line. So I had a number of to and three word paragraphs.
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lol, jay. I hope you do stick around.
Comment from Spitfire
Okay, the picture threw me off. Logically, if people looked small as ants, the fall would be long and would you survive, let alone have the strength to flick off an ant?
Best line:A sudden gust whips my shirt tail into a white surrender flag.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2018
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Okay, the picture threw me off. Logically, if people looked small as ants, the fall would be long and would you survive, let alone have the strength to flick off an ant?
Best line:A sudden gust whips my shirt tail into a white surrender flag.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2018
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Howdy, Shari. I purposely didn't use "small AS ants for obvious reasons, just as I didn't have him "jump" but "step off," instead. LOL, it was a curb, you ninny! I wanted to set the reader up for a suicide.
I one-hundred percent agree about the picture. When I chose it from Google images, it was small and seemed like he was standing on a ledge. Up close and personal, of course, it was a food tray in the rain. Once I realized that, I should have changed it. Strangely, I got several compliments on the bird ... but they were probably taking up space for the word count.
Gosh, it's good to hear from you again.
Jay
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Well, at least I commented on the content, not the word count. I read some of the reviews to find a clue. I reread it with new and improved picture. Now I get it!
Shari
XX from the ninny.
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But I did take your comment serious about the picture. Did you see the latest one?
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Say, me back again. Didn't 25 reviews with at least one six attached to it give one the vaunted All Time Best. Just wondering. I've been away, and like Leonard Cohen, "I sometimes hear these voices in my Tower of Song." I don't know where that came from, Shari, but while I'm on the subject, you really should listen to L Cohen's Tower of Song. Pop it in Google. Tom Jones has a version of Cohen's song, as well. Not a bad rendition, but not as good as the original rawness of the Canadian.
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That's the deal with all time best.
Will check out the song tomorrow.
I love the new picture on your FF.