~ His Final Breath ~
Short Poem11 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi DD. The poem combined with your stark but beautiful photograph make an excellent post. Well written throughout, especially these lines:
"Vicious void veils my heavy sorrow
life is empty beyond this heavy might
I wonder if it will ever lift..."
Marilyn
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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Hi DD. The poem combined with your stark but beautiful photograph make an excellent post. Well written throughout, especially these lines:
"Vicious void veils my heavy sorrow
life is empty beyond this heavy might
I wonder if it will ever lift..."
Marilyn
Comment Written 08-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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I appreciate you popping in to review Marilyn. Your supportive comments are always appreciated. ~DD
Comment from Dawn Munro
Wow. This is one powerful poem! I think sometimes that personal experience lends itself so well to the creative mind, most especially tragedy -- my sincere condolences on the loss of your father. Best of luck in the booth.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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Wow. This is one powerful poem! I think sometimes that personal experience lends itself so well to the creative mind, most especially tragedy -- my sincere condolences on the loss of your father. Best of luck in the booth.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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Dawn, thank you so very much for the honor of six stars. I am touched and very appreciative of your most thoughtful review and condolences. Thank you again for your warmth and support. ~DDx
Comment from estory
I think this poem, written in a very somber tone, really speaks of the pain of loss, of wondering whether you will ever get over it. The language is very emotional here, spoken from the heart, and very honest, and that's what makes this poem work. I think the image of the void is also great for conveying that sense of being left alone, with nothing to hold on to , nowhere to go. estory
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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I think this poem, written in a very somber tone, really speaks of the pain of loss, of wondering whether you will ever get over it. The language is very emotional here, spoken from the heart, and very honest, and that's what makes this poem work. I think the image of the void is also great for conveying that sense of being left alone, with nothing to hold on to , nowhere to go. estory
Comment Written 07-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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Estory, thank you so much for your most insightful review on my short Sad poem. You seem to be the only one that truly read and understood the poem for what was being conveyed. I think it was lost on some reviewers. Perhaps too raw a piece written from the heart making it too personal. I very much appreciate your comments. Thank you. ~DD
Comment from June Sargent
What a lovely tribute to your relationship with your dad. There is an empty void left behind, but slowly fills up with sweet memories. Beautiful words accompanied by a striking photo. Well done.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2018
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What a lovely tribute to your relationship with your dad. There is an empty void left behind, but slowly fills up with sweet memories. Beautiful words accompanied by a striking photo. Well done.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2018
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Thank you June. Your thoughtful review is very much appreciated. ~DD
Comment from Bill Schott
This sad poem, His Final Breath, captures the sudden departure of life. The phrase 'vicious void veils' characterizes the deep loss felt.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2018
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This sad poem, His Final Breath, captures the sudden departure of life. The phrase 'vicious void veils' characterizes the deep loss felt.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2018
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Thank you Bill for your thoughtful review on my short sad poem. I appreciate your comments and warmth.
Comment from Dean Kuch
It certainly is a stunning picture you took and decided to use for your melancholy musing. The perfect compliment to the sadness and serenity your well chosen words convey.
When we lose someone we love dearly it tears a gaping hole in the fabric of our hearts.
They take a piece of us with them when they go.
It matters not if we lose them to the cold, cruel clutches of death and the and confines of the grave. Or, that they simply decide one day to walk away--out of our lives-- and never look back.
Like any rip or tear in most fabrics, the hole can and will be mended in time--if the seamstress is skilled enough.
Still, no matter how skilled the seamstress, the evidence that a hole was once there forever lingers.
Exceptional entry for this particular contest.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2018
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It certainly is a stunning picture you took and decided to use for your melancholy musing. The perfect compliment to the sadness and serenity your well chosen words convey.
When we lose someone we love dearly it tears a gaping hole in the fabric of our hearts.
They take a piece of us with them when they go.
It matters not if we lose them to the cold, cruel clutches of death and the and confines of the grave. Or, that they simply decide one day to walk away--out of our lives-- and never look back.
Like any rip or tear in most fabrics, the hole can and will be mended in time--if the seamstress is skilled enough.
Still, no matter how skilled the seamstress, the evidence that a hole was once there forever lingers.
Exceptional entry for this particular contest.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2018
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Dean, your thoughtful and compassionate words are a great comfort. Thank you for taking the time to review my short poem and share your thoughts to wrap around me with warmth. You are very much appreciated. xx
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You are more than welcome. 8)
Comment from royowen
I guess that's the trouble with tru sadness, after a period of time it seems like it will never leave. A great emphasis on that sadness triggered bu circumstance, ot indeed, just lingering sadness that won't go away. Well done, good entry in this poetry contest in unrhymed triplets, good job, good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2018
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I guess that's the trouble with tru sadness, after a period of time it seems like it will never leave. A great emphasis on that sadness triggered bu circumstance, ot indeed, just lingering sadness that won't go away. Well done, good entry in this poetry contest in unrhymed triplets, good job, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 04-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2018
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Thank you Roy. I appreciate your words of compassion on my short sad poem. I appreciate your comfort. xx
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Most welcome
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written heartfelt sad poem. There are many things we cannot change and one of them is the death of our loved ones, after years we still get the sudden memories coming to us and it become the best moments of our lives when we can see their smiling faces in our imagination as we knew them when they were with us.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2018
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A very well-written heartfelt sad poem. There are many things we cannot change and one of them is the death of our loved ones, after years we still get the sudden memories coming to us and it become the best moments of our lives when we can see their smiling faces in our imagination as we knew them when they were with us.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2018
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Your words are a comfort Sandra. Thank you for reviewing my short sad poem. xx
Comment from zlp22
Sad poem. death is the one thing we have no power over. Good word flow and picture. We can mourn for a lifetime but that will not make a person who died too young come alive.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2018
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Sad poem. death is the one thing we have no power over. Good word flow and picture. We can mourn for a lifetime but that will not make a person who died too young come alive.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2018
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Thank you zlp22 for your thoughtful comments on my short sad poem. I appreciate you taking the time. Warm regards
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is incredibly sad and I have felt sadness like this and eventually the cloud lifts and life taps you on the shoulder to remind that you must carry on and live it, your words are poignant, profound and resonating, love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 04-Sep-2018
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This is incredibly sad and I have felt sadness like this and eventually the cloud lifts and life taps you on the shoulder to remind that you must carry on and live it, your words are poignant, profound and resonating, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2018
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Dolly, I appreciate you taking the time to review my short sad poem and for your understanding. Your words are of comfort and compassion. Thank you. xx
