Gotcha!
30-Syllable Poem Contest Entry16 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This thirty-syllable poem, Gothcha!, uses those limited syllables to turn the tables on the old cliche and let us actually see the one that got away. Funny.
This thirty-syllable poem, Gothcha!, uses those limited syllables to turn the tables on the old cliche and let us actually see the one that got away. Funny.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2018
Comment from Debbie Pope
I like your sense of hYmir so I like your clever poem. Photos never lie, huh? In this case, I know that you wrote from the photo. Right? Very enjoyable 30 syllables .
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2018
I like your sense of hYmir so I like your clever poem. Photos never lie, huh? In this case, I know that you wrote from the photo. Right? Very enjoyable 30 syllables .
Comment Written 04-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2018
-
I appreciate your appreciation of my hYmirous humor, Debbie, and, yes, the proof preceded the spoof. Thanks for the complimentary review!
Don
Comment from Chrissy710
Hi MO This is definetly one of the best for this contest a clever piece with a great image and should poll well Good luck I like this Cheers Christine
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2018
Hi MO This is definetly one of the best for this contest a clever piece with a great image and should poll well Good luck I like this Cheers Christine
Comment Written 04-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2018
-
Thanks for the terrific review and good wishes, Christine. It was fun writing this one.
Good luck to you, too.
Don
Comment from nartoonla
Hi, short but it had all that was needed...A beginning, middle and an end. All so nicely in brief words told. A mini story that would have been applauded in a so many words contest. I enjoyed. And here to say well done.
Hi, short but it had all that was needed...A beginning, middle and an end. All so nicely in brief words told. A mini story that would have been applauded in a so many words contest. I enjoyed. And here to say well done.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2018
Comment from ameen786
A perfect title for this witty ditty; wonder if this was picture inspired; a delightful read; thanks for the treat and good luck!
A perfect title for this witty ditty; wonder if this was picture inspired; a delightful read; thanks for the treat and good luck!
Comment Written 03-Apr-2018
Comment from Cindy McIntyre
This was so clever and enjoyable. From the photo you chose and through all 30 syllables, I was a fan. Best of luck to you in this contest entry. I bet you will be a strong contender!
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2018
This was so clever and enjoyable. From the photo you chose and through all 30 syllables, I was a fan. Best of luck to you in this contest entry. I bet you will be a strong contender!
Comment Written 03-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2018
-
Thank you, doubly, possibly trebly, for your response to 'Gotcha!,' Cindy. Your comments are, of course, appreciated; the precious sixth star made my day; and what I believe to be your vote, moving my piece up to second place, completed the trifecta!
Don
Comment from Eternal Muse
Oh, fantastic! I am so sorry.I am out of sixes. Just loved your fish that got away. That picture is awesome! The fish rawing the boat!
This poem should win. Loved it!
Oh, fantastic! I am so sorry.I am out of sixes. Just loved your fish that got away. That picture is awesome! The fish rawing the boat!
This poem should win. Loved it!
Comment Written 03-Apr-2018
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written thirty syllable poem. Fisher men always tell about the fish that got away when they come home and no one can tell if they lie, but the fish always get bigger every time they tell the tale.
A very well-written thirty syllable poem. Fisher men always tell about the fish that got away when they come home and no one can tell if they lie, but the fish always get bigger every time they tell the tale.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2018
Comment from For better for verse
Great little poem and a masterclass in using minimum syllables, you did this so very well.
A very worthy contest entry, so the very best of luck.
Great artwork too.
Great little poem and a masterclass in using minimum syllables, you did this so very well.
A very worthy contest entry, so the very best of luck.
Great artwork too.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2018
Comment from Julia.
I think this is a cute concept for a poem! Those of us who have fishermen in their lives know who tall tales can creep into...ordinary storytelling.
That said, I don't think this poem stands alone without the picture. The "here" in the third line refers to the picture, but IMO poems need to stand on their own. Also, other than the L2/L4 rhyming, there isn't much in the way of poetic technique in this. Typically, I look for things like imagery, metaphor, rhythm (not necessarily meter), etc. I didn't see that here.
So overall, I think this has potential but could use a little polish. Good luck in the contest!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2018
I think this is a cute concept for a poem! Those of us who have fishermen in their lives know who tall tales can creep into...ordinary storytelling.
That said, I don't think this poem stands alone without the picture. The "here" in the third line refers to the picture, but IMO poems need to stand on their own. Also, other than the L2/L4 rhyming, there isn't much in the way of poetic technique in this. Typically, I look for things like imagery, metaphor, rhythm (not necessarily meter), etc. I didn't see that here.
So overall, I think this has potential but could use a little polish. Good luck in the contest!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2018
-
That is a rather harsh assessment, Julia. There already were six other reviews before yours in the short time since the piece was posted, (including a sixer) and all were complimentary, four of them praising the picture.
It's unfortunate that, for this type of poem, you expect metaphor and other elements of poetry not even hinted at by the contest prompt. To avoid any recurrence of what I consider to be your unrealistic criteria, I shall block your interaction with my work going forward.
-
IMO "metaphor and other elements of poetry" shouldn't need to be mentioned in a contest prompt because they're an integral part of any poem. They are pretty much what makes poetry...poetry--as distinguished from prose.