Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

Hi Sandra,

I haven't come across any spag issues. Maybe I'm too caught up in the story? I thought chocolate was just part of the world from the beginning. I just assumed Eve made it for Adam and the kids?

Joy xx

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 07-Mar-2018

Some readers actually tried the recipe and PMd me to say it was really nice. I still haven't tried it, chocolate is my biggest weakness. I love the Adam and Eve bit, LOL. Thanks again, Joy! :) xxx

Are you called, Joy, or Reen, by your family? I've never heard of that name before, it's lovely! :))

reply by Joy Graham on 07-Mar-2018

My full name is Doreen Joy Graham. Fanstorians seem to continue to call me Joy which is fine with me.

Comment from wordsfromsue

Excellent

Hmm, great story and a recipe, besides? :-)
Makes me want to make some chocolate!

Okay, I hope Joe can remember all the ingredients, in the right amounts

How long before Joe decides to go back to his own time? Or will I have to keep reading?? :-)

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2017

You have to keep reading!! I'll let you know if you make the chocolate and send me some! LOL!! Thanks Sue. I have a chat with you tomorrow. : xxxxxx

Comment from l.raven

Exceptional

HI Sandra, I am so sorry I haven't read this one yet...I thought when Mildred was patting her chest...she had the same idea I did...hmmmmm...smart minds think alike...LOL...not sure if chocolate will bring Joe out...unless it's a BM exit...but I think it's a good question...why did Joe pick Michael to go into???...why not Ann???...I love this chapter sweet girl...can't wait to go read the next one...very well written my wonderful friend...and I love this picture...just made chocolate cupcakes with the grandkids...loveeeeeeee you so very much...Linda xxoo...

going to try your recipe...

I am still at Kristy's house...we are waiting for the hurricane to get here...the worse one I history...can't believe it...we were going to leave but they ran out of gas right away...they did get more but to late...if we had gotten stuck on the road without it ...it would have been worse...we were lucky...we got water right away...she has the tallest house here...maybe God wanted us here to help others...and I know God will be here with us...He will protect us...but we will most likely lose electric here...so I will be off a few days...dropping further behind...sigh...but I always read you...makes me smile...

I keep Ian and Sarah in my prayers...and you as well...please take care...and say hi to Ian for me...xxoo love you so...

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2017

Oh, Linda! I'm watching the television now and see all those hurricanes coming towards you. Please buckle down and keep safe! It must be so scary, we don't get any of the extreme weathers here. We moan about the English weather but at least it's only showers in comparison and the wind is seldom strong enough to do much damage. I'll keep you all in my prayers and as soon as you can, get in touch and let me know you are all safe.

Bless your heart for coming and reading my story when you have all this worry. Some interference is due. :)) Big hugs, my sweet friend, I'll be watching to see how you fare there. Where abouts are you exactly? I want to know if you get off lightly, I pray you do.
Lots of love and humungous hugs! Keep safe! I'm so worried now. :( xxxxxxxx

reply by l.raven on 10-Sep-2017

HI Sandra, I'm going to make this fast...the wind is picking up...and the trees are starting to sway...we are in largo...next to St.Petersburg...last night they said we were going to get a direct hit...nut it moved to the east just a tiny bit...what we are worried about is the surge...Kristy( daughter) has told all the neighbors her home is welcome to them...they are all in ranches...hers is a three story...it will be hitting here soon...I am ok...but my daughter is a basket case...so I am going to go...we are going to try and cook before the electric goes out...and they said it will...I will let you know what happens...love you lots you...xxoo love

Comment from Drew Delaney

Excellent

Sorry, I'm late. Had a very busy week. Your story is coming along nicely. I noticed a change in tense in the following line. Still doesn't sit well is present while the rest of the paragraph is in past.
But the idea of an adult being in a child's body still doesn't sit well with me, (still didn't sit well)

Have a lovely weekend, my friend.
Drew xx

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017

Thank you so much, my friend, for reading this even when it was no longer promoted. That was so kind of you. You were the only one to pick that nit up, thank you so much for finding it and pointing it out to me. I've corrected it now! Big hugs, my dear friend. :) Sandra xx

Comment from write hand blue

Exceptional

Hi Sandra, this is indeed a delicious chapter. Chocolate is a favourite of mine.
The chapter is so well written and thought out. I'm a little mystified about who the committee is, but I'm sure we will find out in good time. I often wonder what would happen if one could change the past. Could we eliminate 'Hitler'? this of course couldn't be done because it has already happened. Perhaps in reality we could only observe. But of course in fiction anything can happen, it only has to sound plausible.

Anyway have a nice holiday the weather is lovely over here at the moment.

Mel. xxxx

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2017

Thank you so very much, Mel! What a lovely review and all those stars, thank you!! You will know more about the committee soon. I would love to go back in time and change a few things. LOL If I could go back a few years and remember the lottery numbers... Not going to happen though. :) Thanks, my friend. :) Sandra xx

Comment from rwilliam

Exceptional

When I saw your photo I got excited! Can't wait to read this chapter... :-D

"Do you think that's wise?" Petro leaned back into his chair. Balancing on its back two legs, he held on to the table as his feet lifted off the floor. --I don't mind Petro leaning back in his chair and balancing on two legs, but when you go on to say he's holding onto the table and his feet are lifted up it starts to sound childish. Takes away from the 'man' 'adult' image.Just a personal opinion. :-)

gently snoring in the land of nod.--LOVE this line!!! :-)

I LOVE the whole scene of showing Michael how to make chocolate. ADORABLE!!

I also like how you have your character talk out her thoughts. That is very real.

I was NOT disappointed with this chapter. WELL DONE! my friend.

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017

Thank you so very much for this amazing review and for the lovely 6 stars! I see what you are saying about the chair scene and I will change it. I really appreciate honest reviews like this and thank you for it. I'm absolutely delighted you enjoyed the chocolate lesson. LOL, some have even tested it and told me they liked it. Thank you again, my friend. :)Sandra xxx

Comment from Jan Anderegg

Excellent

Thanks for the recipe! Sounds delicious.

Why can't life be simple? Is it too much to ask for just one thing to go right? I looked at James and Mildred, who were both looking at me, waiting ... for what? An answer? I didn't have one.

She's traveling through time and she wonders why life can't be simple? Hmmmm.
Don't we all.

I didn't find any errors. Another great chapter and I will look forward to seeing how the story progresses.

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017

LOL, Janilou, thank you! Yes, I suppose she is asking a lot considering what she get's up to. I had to smile when I read your remark. I hope you stay and enjoy the ride. Veronica's life will not be getting any easier or simpler, not for a while anyway. :) Sandra xxx

Comment from frogbook

Excellent

Well, lots of detective work to be done here. And cooking too! Such convoluted stories you weave my friend. I would likely get myself confused writing-haha. Great mysteries to come.

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017

Yes, Veronica and her team have a lot to do, but they will get there in the end. :)) LOL, I have a million notes to keep me in check! Thank you, JoAnn for continuing to support my story, I really appreciate you. Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx

Comment from Walu Feral

Exceptional

G'day Cousin.

"We would just have to carry on in the hope that Joe was receptive to what we were going to show him." (Well, I guess if he's not then at least they know how to make chocolate now lol.)

Ah, now I have the recipe from your notes... I might go back there myself and get rich and then come back here lol.

A perfectly written chapter that finishes with a great question and adss nicely to the mystery.

Well done.

Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017

Hi back, dear Cousin. Thank you so much for another of your wonderful reviews and all those stars! They really light my sky! That chocolate recipe is lovely and so easy to do, you can add nuts or cherries, or anything to make it even nicer. Even though wiggly worms you like!! LOL

Things are going to start happening soon so keep around if you can. Have you sent your query letter and synopsis off yet?

Big hugs! Lots of love, Sandra xx

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Sandra,

Such an interesting and puzzling problem to have! I don't know WHAT I'd do is an entity was inside MY wee one! That would definitely keep me up at nights! hahaha! Well-written as always! I only spotted one tiny nit, my friend:

1.) Daveth's new problem might not happen if Veronica works this one out(.)"
--> though I must say I didn't understand this sentence. If it's non-existent, how is it a problem?

Thanks!

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017

Thanks for spotting that, Robyn! I'll nip in and add it. I would flip if it happened to one of mine too! LOL. Mind you, saying that I sometimes wonder if I've got one! The problem that could arise if Veronica doesn't come through with this choc idea has happened as it's now 150 later. But, if Veronica's idea does work out, then that will change that time line. But, ... I think you can wait and read the full explanation! LOL. Thanks, my friend. :) Sandra xxx