Haiku Club Challenges, Book II
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "haiku (sea shells sprinkled)"an anthology of haiku written by fanstory poets
20 total reviews
Comment from LIJ Red
Excellent Haiku, says one who bogged down and didn't finish his thrift-store purchase, The Art of Haiku. Burl Ives sang about the little pearly shells, way back
in the PreBeatle years....
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2017
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Excellent Haiku, says one who bogged down and didn't finish his thrift-store purchase, The Art of Haiku. Burl Ives sang about the little pearly shells, way back
in the PreBeatle years....
Comment Written 08-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2017
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Thank you for the fun review :)
Comment from marybell1
I enjoyed reading your poem "Sea Shells sprinkled." You had the right number of syllables though I would have liked for you to have a picture to enhance your poem.
All the best.
Marybell1.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2017
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I enjoyed reading your poem "Sea Shells sprinkled." You had the right number of syllables though I would have liked for you to have a picture to enhance your poem.
All the best.
Marybell1.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2017
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Poems, especially haiku, should paint their own picture so I prefer not to use pictures usually. Thanks for your review:)
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You are most welcome.
Marybell1.
Comment from kathleenspalding
Very nice haiku paints a strong mental picture. I like the imagery in this. And now I'm hungry, LOL.
One thing , on my Kindle it's showing up with four lines instead of the usual three 5-7-5 -
sea shells sprinkled
o'er sandy beach groomed by high tide
icing on the cake
It just looks better to me in three lines. Haiku prejudice, LOL.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2017
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Very nice haiku paints a strong mental picture. I like the imagery in this. And now I'm hungry, LOL.
One thing , on my Kindle it's showing up with four lines instead of the usual three 5-7-5 -
sea shells sprinkled
o'er sandy beach groomed by high tide
icing on the cake
It just looks better to me in three lines. Haiku prejudice, LOL.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2017
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It has 3 lines. Formatting can change with different devices. Thanks Kathleen:)
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Good. You're welcome.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written haiku about the seashells that are scattered over the sandy beach like sprinkles on a birthday cake left there by the hightide to give us a chance to pick them up.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2017
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A very well-written haiku about the seashells that are scattered over the sandy beach like sprinkles on a birthday cake left there by the hightide to give us a chance to pick them up.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2017
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Thank you sandra:)
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Teresa, this is a very good haiku, with lines one and two interconnecting as they should and your third line is a particularly good satori - clever! You have met the challenge well. Warm regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2017
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Hi Teresa, this is a very good haiku, with lines one and two interconnecting as they should and your third line is a particularly good satori - clever! You have met the challenge well. Warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 04-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2017
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Thank you Dorothy:) I miss your writing.
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes I loved this my friend such a beautiful description the shells being sprinkled definitely the icing on the cake well done regards Jill
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2017
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Yes I loved this my friend such a beautiful description the shells being sprinkled definitely the icing on the cake well done regards Jill
Comment Written 04-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2017
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Thank you Jill:)
Comment from honeytree
So much said within
the words written here
for this poem .
Indeed sea shells look
like icing on the cake.
Honey tree.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2017
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So much said within
the words written here
for this poem .
Indeed sea shells look
like icing on the cake.
Honey tree.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2017
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Thank you so much Annie:)
Comment from rama devi
Good metaphor in the satori Good word economy. GREAT PHONETICS with alliteration and consonance of S (and soft C too) nicely balanced by counterpoint sounds of K and hard C as well as consonance of L. Groomed is such an apt word choice! Well done.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2017
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Good metaphor in the satori Good word economy. GREAT PHONETICS with alliteration and consonance of S (and soft C too) nicely balanced by counterpoint sounds of K and hard C as well as consonance of L. Groomed is such an apt word choice! Well done.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 03-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2017
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Thank you RD:)
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Wow that is a true haiku and the imagery is excellent and the satori line is so precious. Very nicely done dear friend. Someday I will get it right
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2017
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Wow that is a true haiku and the imagery is excellent and the satori line is so precious. Very nicely done dear friend. Someday I will get it right
Comment Written 03-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2017
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Thank you so much Barb:)
Comment from Joan E.
I relish walking along a beach finding sea shells, and I felt I was doing just that as I read your descriptive haiku. I enjoyed your alliteration of "s's" to intensify your theme. Thanks for the "icing"! -Joan
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2017
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I relish walking along a beach finding sea shells, and I felt I was doing just that as I read your descriptive haiku. I enjoyed your alliteration of "s's" to intensify your theme. Thanks for the "icing"! -Joan
Comment Written 03-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2017
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Thanks so much:)
