Was I the Child You Lost?
Before my birth.68 total reviews
Comment from TPAC
An unique array of views wrapped in descriptive disclosure, old mother-less aspects with initial foundation starting from womb. Yet this is my perception of this write and might not convey the writer intents. A thought for mind, whichever.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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An unique array of views wrapped in descriptive disclosure, old mother-less aspects with initial foundation starting from womb. Yet this is my perception of this write and might not convey the writer intents. A thought for mind, whichever.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, TPAC, for your perceptive review on the array of views my poem wrapped. I appreciate it.
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Was I the Child You Lost?", is an extremely well-written and heart-wrenching piece.
This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. You KEEP WRITING and I'll keep reading.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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"Was I the Child You Lost?", is an extremely well-written and heart-wrenching piece.
This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. You KEEP WRITING and I'll keep reading.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, duchessofdrumborg, for your review of my heart-wrenching piece. I built my poetic talent upon my mother's. I will keep writing.
Sis Cat, you're blessed to have had a talented mother.
Best wishes, the Duchess
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Andre.
Beautifully penned, mate. A very tragic tale, but so sweetly written. You seem to come from a line of talented artistic people, from what I've read and you are carrying the banner well.
When tragedy strikes we all handle it differently... the pain is the same, but we handle it differently.
Very well done, my friend.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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G'day Andre.
Beautifully penned, mate. A very tragic tale, but so sweetly written. You seem to come from a line of talented artistic people, from what I've read and you are carrying the banner well.
When tragedy strikes we all handle it differently... the pain is the same, but we handle it differently.
Very well done, my friend.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Yes, Fez, I come from talented parents. I am glad they left me the photos, poem, and story that inspired my work.
Thank you for your compassionate review.
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Good morning Andre:
Wow, what a story to tell, do tell! This piece screams of a unique greatness and the story that inspired it is one that needs to be in a book. It is no wonder that both of your parents were gifted artists as well.
You have truly penned a great one with this one.
Your poem is elegantly written, full of surprise and imagery. The photo is appropriate for it's magnificent poem and your Arthur notes are so incredibly necessary and strong. I am amazed with this story. You captured my heart with your every word and left me speechless with this one. WOW!
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Good morning Andre:
Wow, what a story to tell, do tell! This piece screams of a unique greatness and the story that inspired it is one that needs to be in a book. It is no wonder that both of your parents were gifted artists as well.
You have truly penned a great one with this one.
Your poem is elegantly written, full of surprise and imagery. The photo is appropriate for it's magnificent poem and your Arthur notes are so incredibly necessary and strong. I am amazed with this story. You captured my heart with your every word and left me speechless with this one. WOW!
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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WOW! Thank you, Tier, for your generous six star review.
Comment from Hitcher
You have come a long way since writing your first sonnet friend, which wasn't that long ago if I remember correctly. This is a stunning write, powerful, emotional and full of awe. The thought of a soul/spirit bound to Earth waiting for the chance to be born, to live... Nice!! I think this is the best piece of poetry I have read of yours thus far friend... refined!!
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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You have come a long way since writing your first sonnet friend, which wasn't that long ago if I remember correctly. This is a stunning write, powerful, emotional and full of awe. The thought of a soul/spirit bound to Earth waiting for the chance to be born, to live... Nice!! I think this is the best piece of poetry I have read of yours thus far friend... refined!!
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Hitcher, it is hard for me to believe that this is my third sonnet since i began writing them in April. If I feel like I have been writing them forever it is because I spend up to two weeks on each sonnet.So I am quite honored by your compliment "this is the best piece of poetry I have read of yours thus far."
Since my mother in her "Woe is Me!" poem she wrote the year I was born and five years after her miscarriage addressed, "O soul of child unformed", stating, ". . . if you're lost/you'll come again. . ./if not here/some other place," this opened up a door for me to ask fifty-three years later, "Was I the child you lost before my birth?"
Thank you for your generous, six star review and compliments of my work. I much appreciate them.
Comment from Margaret Ford
This is exceptional -- quite original, unique, and I must say, painful. My favorite line: "..from womb to womb, a changeling bound to earth,..." I think some of your very best ideas have been from your family experience. I know how difficult it is to remain there mentally for remembrances, and yet stay detached enough to judge your work as you write. What a fine job this is, my friend. Margaret
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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This is exceptional -- quite original, unique, and I must say, painful. My favorite line: "..from womb to womb, a changeling bound to earth,..." I think some of your very best ideas have been from your family experience. I know how difficult it is to remain there mentally for remembrances, and yet stay detached enough to judge your work as you write. What a fine job this is, my friend. Margaret
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Yes, Margaret, some of my best ideas are from my family experience. They were quite talented and left me a wealth of pictures, poems, articles, and stories that I can weave into new works. When, in the year I was born, my mother in her poem addressed her unborn baby:
"Forgive me . . ./forgive me if I feel no sin,/but if you're lost/you'll come again . . ./if not here/some other place."
this opened up the door for me fifty-three years later to ask rhetorically, "Well, Mom, since you had a miscarriage five years before I was born and you brought up the changeling metaphor first, am I the soul of the child you lost?"
Thank you, Margaret, for your generous six star review of my original and painful poem.
Comment from kahpot
Excellent I like the story, rhyme, and flow of this read for a mother and child both searching for one another and themselves left to wonder why they were apart very well done****kahpot
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Excellent I like the story, rhyme, and flow of this read for a mother and child both searching for one another and themselves left to wonder why they were apart very well done****kahpot
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, kahpot, for your generous and compassionate review. I appreciate it.
Comment from Spitfire
Wow! Magnificent sculpture. A haunting poem and worthy of metaphysical study. You could well be that same soul your mother your mother miscarried. Sensing her distress, your soul decided to wait for rebirth until a happier time in her life.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Wow! Magnificent sculpture. A haunting poem and worthy of metaphysical study. You could well be that same soul your mother your mother miscarried. Sensing her distress, your soul decided to wait for rebirth until a happier time in her life.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Spitfire, for your generous, six star review. Yes, my poem poses a lot of metaphysical questions. I do not know the answer about rebirth but will ask the question. My father would have been thrilled by your compliments of his sculpture. Thanks.
Comment from Jay Squires
Brilliant! Profound! Damn that was a painful read--as I know it was excruciating to write. There is the theme of your play, Andre. The question-marks you carry through your life. Your mother was redeemed just giving birth to you, though. You are an astoundig writer!
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Brilliant! Profound! Damn that was a painful read--as I know it was excruciating to write. There is the theme of your play, Andre. The question-marks you carry through your life. Your mother was redeemed just giving birth to you, though. You are an astoundig writer!
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Yes, Jay, I originally was going to write a Crown of Royal Sonnets but I ran out of time, so I condensed my scraps into one poem. That was a feat because of the amount of material I had to use for inspiration--three photo's of my father's "Woe is Me!" sculpture, his logbook detailing the poem my mother wrote as an artist statement to his sculpture, and my mother's undated essay about her bout with mental illness after suffering a miscarriage. It would have been easy to write an exhaustive writer's notes but I decided to keep it at one hundred and seven words--the same length as my poem. By containing the pain it helped me process it and come up with the closing lines about forgiveness and creativity.
Yeah, I may want to make a play out of this someday.
Thank you for your generous, six star review and support. I deeply appreciate them.
Comment from Marykelly
Miscarriage can be a devastating experience but doesn't seem to have the weight of losing a child who has come full term and is lost. The fact that you have written this poem gives credence to your love as a child for a mother in pain, the kind of pain that lives with a person.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Miscarriage can be a devastating experience but doesn't seem to have the weight of losing a child who has come full term and is lost. The fact that you have written this poem gives credence to your love as a child for a mother in pain, the kind of pain that lives with a person.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Thank you, Marykelly, for your review and kind thoughts. Many reviewers have shared with me their own personal experiences with miscarriages. I am glad my parents saved the sculpture pictures and poem which inspired me not only to write this poem but to pay tribute to them. Thanks.
