Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

I was taken by the mood you captured in your first line and the echoing "p" sounds to intensify it and the accompanying artwork to reinforce it. The contrast with the "static" is just right. Best wishes in the 5-7-5 contest- Joan

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017

Thanks, Joan. Have a great 4th.

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

A beautiful, angelic child. Are there more opportunities in the city or the country for a tranquil, safer, peaceful life for our kids? Your 5-7-5 doesn't actually focus on the city itself, but rather what we may be happier to escape. I agree with you. Marilyn

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017

Thanks for the kind review
Just approached it from a different angle

Comment from writerjen

Excellent

very cute poem, descriptive wording seemed to express your overall meaning really well. cute picture choice of course which added to your poem's intent. I like this contest entry-think you have a good chance. well done.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017

Thanks for the kind review.

Comment from bmethner

Excellent

Very creative in its message about escaping city limits. The syllables follow the 5-7-5 requirements perfectly. I loved the picture that wonderfully describes a perfect repose. I enjoyed reading it.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017

Thanks for the kind review.